


Am I falling in love with the one who could break my heart..?

by thumbs_up



Series: Finding the light in the dark [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:55:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 52,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25302667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thumbs_up/pseuds/thumbs_up
Summary: Lindsey Horan starts freshman year at UVA. She’s a newbie, but when she meets Mal and her friends her being a freshman suddenly doesn’t matter anymore.~~I suck at summaries but basically an AU where Lindsey goes to college and meet Emily there.
Relationships: Lindsey Horan/Emily Sonnett
Series: Finding the light in the dark [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2080026
Comments: 32
Kudos: 72





	1. ‘But when you said, "Hello”, I know that was the end of it all’

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I told y’all I had another story in the works and I actually really like how this turned out so hopefully you enjoy! I’ll be updating Ready For It soon, I just needed a break from that story
> 
> DISCLAIMER TALKS ABOUT DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY ISSUES SO IF THATS A TRIGGER IN ANYWAY BE CAREFUL(it’s honestly not that bad but I feel the need to put a warning just incase)

** READ DISCLAIMER ABOVE (just incase) **

Arriving on the campus was probably the scariest thing Lindsey Horan has done. She arrived to a new school with no friends, just a soccer scholarship. The only good thing is that it was college, most people don’t care that you’re a nobody because they just want to graduate.

She drove all the way from Denver, all of her stuff in the back of her car. When she got her keys she made her way upstairs and met her roommate.

“hello?” 

“oh hey, you must be Lindsey, I’m Sarah you’re roommate” 

“hey, i’m assuming this is my side of the room” she pointed to the empty bed

“you’d be correct” Sarah chuckled “let me help you bring up your stuff since i’m already settled and have nothing better to do” 

Lindsey smiled “okay thanks” 

Well at least she’ll have Sarah if everything goes to shit. They brought up her stuff and Lindsey started unpacking.

“so you’re from Denver right?” Sarah asked

“Yea I lived there my whole life actually”

“oh nice, why did you choose a school so far? I mean I heard you were a great soccer player, you must have had tons of offers from schools closer”

“wow you get straight to the point..um well I didn’t exactly have the best memories in Denver. Which lead me wanting to get as far away and start fresh” she said

“oh well, i’m sure whatever happened won’t happen here, this is a pretty amazing school” 

“I hope” she smiled at Sarah

“I just noticed your chain, I love it”

“Thanks it’s pretty special to me” she thought about the moment her grandma handed her the chain before Lindsey left for school. Her grandma was the one person she could trust in Denver and leaving her was the worse. Her grandma is the only person who knows she’s gay. She didn’t have any friends and she never wanted to tell her parents, so she kept it a secret.

On the other hand Emily was settling in for her junior year of college. She was roommates with Rose, her best friend. This year for Emily was gonna be crazy she was finally turning 21 which met she would be able to LEGALLY drink. Illegally drinking was much more fun but it’s fine. 

Emily and Rose have been settled in for a few days, they got her early so that they could start training with Mal and Sam. All four juniors were now starters for the team, so it was an important year for them. 

“Rosie this is gonna be our best year yet, we’ll both be 21 AND we’re starters, how could it get better”

“you could find a girlfriend and get out of my hair”

“you can’t rush that, plus a girlfriend is not my list right now, I have more important things to focus on” Rose scoffs 

“do you not remember last year where you made it a goal to hook up with as many girls you could pick up”

“Rose my dear that was last year’s me. This year’s me is not focused on the sex. Sophomore Emily was immature, junior Emily is smarter” there was a knock on their door.

“I wouldn’t say that” Emily’s face fell before opening the door

“hey losers” Mal said as she and Sam walked through the door

“hi, please ignore Rose she’s being mean to me” 

“am not i’m just stating the facts” 

“oh gosh, what went down” Sam asked

“Rose said that junior Emily wasn’t anymore smarter than sophomore Emily. I promise y’all I changed over summer break, no more sex with every hot girl I run into” Rose rolled her eyes

“speaking of girls me and Sam ran into this girl in the hallway, she’s playing soccer here and we invited her to train with us today” Mal said

—

(in the hallway)

Lindsey left her charger in the car and was going down to get it when she was two girls walking with a soccer ball and boots.

“um excuse me, do you guys play soccer her or..?” Lindsey asked 

“oh yea we do we’re both on the team, are you one of the new freshmen?” Sam asked

“Yes I am, I’m Lindsey by the way”

“I’m Mal and this is my friend Sam, we’re going to meet up with two of our other friends and train, do you want to join?”

“If I can fine my boots in time I’ll make my way down there..what time?”

“in like 10-15 minutes and we’ll be out there for a few hours” Sam said

“okay cool hopefully I’ll find my boots in time”

—

“a freshman really” Emily said

“Son don’t be mean she’s new and she seems like she didn’t have many friends..also you might want to reconsider you whole ‘no sex’ thing because she’s pretty cute” Sam added

“please be hot, please be hot” Rose repeated in a whisper

“seriously Rose, even if she is ‘hot’ I not gonna give in i’m stronger than that” everyone stayed silent

“really guys, you don’t believe in me, whatever let’s go” Emily sighed

They arrived to the soccer field and there’s was no sign of Lindsey

“well looks like she isn’t coming”

“give her a minute” Mal said

A few minutes later Lindsey arrived.

“hey Lindsey, glad you could make it” Mal said

“yea glad I came”

“let us introduce you, this is Rose she plays midfield, Emily is a defender and Mal, of course, is a forward, oh and i’m a midfielder too” Sam point to them as she’s talks

“oh cool i’m a midfielder too”

“great one more to add to the list of awesome people” Rose said

“what year are you guys in you all seem pretty close”

“we’re all juniors” Emily told her 

shit Lindsey thought, * _all juniors what did I get myself into_ * “oh cool, i’m a freshman incase you didn’t know”

“alright why don’t we start”

Two hours later they finished. Lindsey was good good they all learned that. Emily also learned that Sam was right when she said Lindsey was hot, I mean cute, but Emily was not gonna do anything because. Lindsey’s a freshman and this is Emily’s year to shine no distractions. 

“hey Lindsey you want to get dinner with us tonight, there’s this great place off campus, Emily loves there food” Emily elbowed Rose in the rib hard and she grunted. 

“uh sure why not”

“great meet in the parking lot in two hours yea?”

“sounds good”

Lindsey’s pretty sure she found herself some good people.

Back at the room Emily got angry,

“seriously Rose you’re trying so hard to set me up for failure, why do you want to see me lose this bet so bad”

“because Son I don’t know why you need to change so quickly, I also know you find Lindsey cute, and you can’t resist”

“actually I can, i’m not some horny teenage boy” Rose snorted 

“okay whatever you say”

They all meet up in the parking lot a couple hours later. They pile into Emily’s car and drive to get food. 

When they sit down Rose makes sure Lindsey and Emily have no other choice but to sit next to each other. Once they settle in Emily kicked Rose in the shin. 

“Stop that” she whispered

“you stop it-“

“hey dumb and dumber why don’t you both shut up” Mal said

“so Lindsey where are you from?”

“Denver, and before you ask I had a pretty terrible time there so I chose UVA to get as far away as possible” Lindsey said

“oh okay..well we will make sure to make you’re college experience much better, hopefully” Sam said

Emily wondered to herself what was so terrible. Emily has had her share of terrible things, it is why she’s so messed up today but she’s only really shared that stuff with Rose. She told Mal and Sam but Rose was someone she’s could wake up at 3 in the morning and she’ll let you cry on her shoulder until you’ve finished. She knows that because it’s happened..a lot.

Their food arrives and they all eat with the conversation flowing. 

“to be honest I had no clue you guys were juniors if I knew I wouldn’t have even talked to you” Emily laughed at that

“Were glad you did” Rose said

They went back to the dorms and we’re about to split up when Emily really spoke to Lindsey for the first time

“Lindsey can I talk to you alone for just a second” she asked her

“sure”

“okay, uh keep going guys, i’ll see you soon Rose” Rose had never been more confused, but Lindsey was even more confused. She thought Emily hated her, why would she want to talk to her. 

Emily leads Lindsey to a bench outside the dorms

“I’m sorry, I think it may seem like I hate you but I don’t. We really got off on the wrong foot, it’s just that Rose and me have this bet going on about me not hooking up with random people, and she’s trying really hard to make me lose, so i’m kinda mad at her, I think it seems like i’m taking my anger out on you but I swear i’m not. It’s just I don’t really trust people that easily, these guys have been my friends for two years now and I honestly only trust trust Rose but it took me a long time to tell them anything about me”

Lindsey sat there in shock, she was in shock because Emily just mentioned hooking up with her. A junior wanting to hook with her, she’s only been here a day and she’s already fucked.

“earth to Lindsey”

“oh shit sorry..uh no it’s totally fine I don’t know anything about you’re bet but now i’m interested, and with the whole trust issue thing it goes both ways, I don’t really let anybody into my life that easy”

“I want to restart, I would like to break through the mind of Lindsey”

“and I would like to break through the mind of Emily...you sure me being a freshman and you a junior is not weird in anyway”

“no of course not people here really don’t care about that crap” Emily added

“cool, so any advice for your favorite freshie”

“stay away from the boys they’re icky”

“only if you knew” Lindsey whispers 

“what was that”

“thanks I’ll use that information to my advantage”

“can I get you’re number by any chance, maybe tomorrow we can hang”

“sure here” Lindsey put in her info into Emily’s phone

“good, well I should go back because Rose might sent out a search party, she’s done it before don’t ask”

“wasn’t going to, night Emily”

“goodnight Lindsey” 

Lindsey sat on the bench for a little while longer and she was processing the whole conversation that went down. She made her way back to her room

“hey there you are” Sarah said

“yea sorry I went to dinner with some girls from the soccer team and then got caught up in a conversation with someone”

“oooo spill who was it”

“just this girl from my team”

“who?”

“her name is Emily”

“Oh my god”

“what”

“you were talking to her you lucky bitch”

“what” she laughed

“she hooked up with a ton of girls last year. Every gay girl wanted a piece of that, I was lucky enough to get that”

“wait, you and her are a thing?”

“oh no it was a one time thing she made that very clear, you should go for it Linds that night was unforgettable, WAIT DID YOU ALREADY GET IT OH-“

“Sarah slow down I didn’t get anything, we were talking about being friends, how do you know if i’m even gay”

“Lindsey please you’re so easy to read”

“shit” Lindsey whispered

“you’re secret is safe with me” she zipped her lips 

“she did mention hooking up but we’re just friends and nothing more”

“whatever you say freshie, I should probably get to bed got a big day tomorrow”

“okay night”

“goodnight kid”

Lindsey got a text

Unknown~ _hey Lindsey it’s Emily. Wanted to know if u wanted to go on a hike tomorrow? I know a great trail_

Lindsey~ _sure sounds fun_

Emily~ _okay meet at the bench, 10:00am sharp_

Lindsey~ _sounds good boss :p_

Emily _~ boss? i like that one, see you tomorrow_

Looks like Lindsey’s got a long day too.


	2. ‘I should've stayed at home, Cause now there ain't no letting you go’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry. angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so if you want to do me a favor count how many times I use the word silent or silence bc i feel like it’s a lot
> 
> also thank you Portland for finally winning. Now I have to go mentally prepare myself for them to lose next Wednesday:)

The next morning Lindsey was not feeling it. Her whole body was sore from the training yesterday. She regrets telling Emily she’d join her on the hike because all she wants to do is sleep. 

_ 9:50am  _ flashed on her clock * _shit_ *  she ran over to her closet and put on soccer short snd a shirt, threw her hair up quickly and ran down stairs without her shoes on. Emily was standing by the bench

“nice one Linds, 10:01” she looked up from her watch

“sorry I was too busy complaining to myself about how sore I am”

“dude if your sore from that, just wait for real practice to start”

“great” she rolled her eyes

“come on kid let’s go”

“kid, really? I get it that i’m a freshman and all but do you have to call me kid?”

“would buddy be better?” Emily asked

“nope but I feel like I can’t stop you” 

“you’re very correct about that”

The truth is that Emily is trying her best to treat Lindsey like her friend so that she can trick her mind and not fall hard for Lindsey 

Once they arrived to the hiking area Lindsey saw that the trail was 6 miles long

“seriously 6 miles are you trying to kill me”

“listen I wouldn’t have taken you if I knew you were that sore, and it’s worth it trust me” Lindsey didn’t trust her but she had no choice but to go

On there hike it was pretty awkward. They didn’t know what to talk about so majority of the time was silence. Every now and then a complain would come from Lindsey’s mouth

“ughh” Emily laughs 

“what is it now?” 

“my legs feel like they’re about to fall off me, if I do fall you better be willing to catch me”

“I’m willing but i’m not ready, don’t go down on me now Linds we only have 2 more miles” Emily said as if it was nothing 

“UGHH”

They finally reached the end and Lindsey collapsed to the floor before she could even see the view. Holy shit was it a nice view. It looked over all the forest. 

“wow this is nice” Lindsey said

“yea I come here a lot” Emily sat down next to her

“why, is this where you bring all the girls?” Lindsey joked

“how’d you know? no, this is where I go when i’m having trouble believing everything will be okay. Now that you know about this place are you gonna bring all the girls here”

Lindsey was distracted with the first part she almost didn’t hear the end

“what?”

“Lindsey we may not know each other but I know for a fact you’re gay. If you tell me you’re not then shit i’m really off”

“I- I, how the fuck is everyone just guessing that. I’ve kept this a secret for years and you’re telling me i’ve been that easy to read”

“no, you’re actually pretty difficult for straight people. Us gay’s can tell easier, sorry if you didn’t want me to know but I had to get it out, I know how lonely it can get being the only gay in a straight friend group. It’s like they don’t know what we go through”

“It’s not that I didn’t want you to know it’s just that’s where my trust issues come into play” Lindsey said

“I’d like to hear if you’re willing to tell”

Lindsey was hesitant at first but something about Emily felt safe “I’m only telling you this because there’s something between us that feels different, i’ve never felt this instant trust with anyone, so here we go..when I was little, middle school to be exact, all I wanted to do was wear soccer shorts and a shirt but my mom would say ‘no Linds, no that’s no proper way to dress, boys don’t like girls who look like that’ so the rest of my school time I dressed to impress nobody but my mom. I’ve known since middle school when I found my one best friends cute. I felt so trapped, I couldn’t tell anyone because someone would tell my mom and she..” she started tearing up “..she would be so disappointed in me. I couldn’t trust anyone to keep my secret there and I realized I need to be me, so I left, got as far away as possible. Maybe I can be myself here, actually make friends and tell them stuff without being scared they’ll tell my mom. So yea that’s why I don’t tell anyone”

Emily stayed silent, she was crying but didn’t want Lindsey to see so she didn’t look her direction.

“i’m sorry, I know how it feels to be stuck and not have anyone” she whispered

“I got through it so I think I’m okay”

“It’s so much like my story. I’ve only ever told Sam, Mal and Rose this but you’re right there’s something different between us”

“you don’t have Em”

“I want to” Lindsey nods even though Emily couldn’t see her

“When I was high school I liked my best friend. We did everything together. I got such strong gay vibes from her that one day I went for it, I told her everything. That I was gay, that I liked her..” she sniffled “..if you don’t know Georgia isn’t the best place for gay people. She told me to leave to never talk to her again. The next day I arrived at school to no friends no one would talk to me, I later found out she told the whole school I was gay and that I liked her” Lindsey put her hand on her back, “You can stop Em” 

“I felt exposed, I couldn’t trust anyone. I had only had one person left, my sister. For the rest the of my high school time it was me and my sister. She would eat lunch with me, yell at the people making homophobic comments and jokes. She told me one day that she didn’t care that I was gay because we are sister, twins. She told me she doesn’t hate me, she loves me for being me. My mom never found out and still hasn’t so, I uh really only have my sister left” Lindsey was crying at this point

“what about your dad” Lindsey whispered

Emily wiped her tears “that’s enough for today, we should get back” she got up and started walking away, so Lindsey had no other choice but to follow 

In the car no one talked, it was just music and dry tears streams. They got back to the dorms

“Em i’m sorry if I said something that was triggering, I didn’t mean it”

“it’s fine you didn’t know, but now you do so, I’ll see you later Lindsey”

Emily walked back to her dorm and instantly was interrogated by Rose

“Where were you miss, and why were you gone so long”

“I was Lindsey, we went on a hike”

“OOOO you two together  alone..” 

“Rose nothing happened we just hiked and talked”

“about..”

“stuff”

“Em..what stuff” Emily didn’t respond and Rose instantly knew what ‘stuff’

“Emily we don’t even know her, and you told her about it all”

“no, only about the gay part but i’m pretty certain everyone at this school knows i’m gay and doesn’t care so i’m good”

“still that took you forever to tell us, you’ve known her for two days and trust her that much”

“Rose I trusted her because she had the same exact story, she gets me, I felt safe telling her”

“What did she say about your dad?”

“I didn’t tell that part, she asked but I couldn’t tell her that yet, it’s too personal and will fuck her up. She’s already trapped and sad, I don’t want to make it worse” Emily started crying 

“Come here” she climbed into Rose’s bed and they laid there, crying, for a long time. 

“it was my fault” 

“Emily no it wasn’t okay none of it was your fault and i’ll keep telling you that until you understand it wasn’t” Rose said comforting her

At dinner Lindsey sat with Mal and Sam who were awaiting Rose and Emily’s arrival.

“where are they” Mal said 

“let me text Rose, Lindsey you were with Emily earlier yea? was anything different?” Sam asked

“um i’ve only known her for a day so I couldn’t tell you but she was in a mood when we got back”

“hmm” Sam hummed

Emily and Rose entered the dinning hall and instantly the two other friends could tell something was up. They could see Rose putting things on Emily’s tray and leading her to their own table away from the others.

“Oh no it’s happening, I wonder what set her off this time” Mal asked concerned 

“what do you mean?” Lindsey said looking at the other two

“uh well all I can say is Emily brain isn’t as happy as you may see it and her brain is very dangerous place. Not many people have seen the worst of it, only Rose to be exact. It doesn’t happen that often but when it does it’s normally something that was said that set her off” Mal explains 

“she can be like this for days, weeks even. She only ever turns to Rose because she for some reason trust her the most” Sam added in

“shit, you guys just leave them alone? don’t talk to them for days?” Lindsey asked

“yea normally, we make sure she’s knows we’re there but other than that we leave them be” 

Lindsey didn’t fully know of it was the question she asked but she had a strong feeling it was.

“so Linds how are you feeling about tomorrow first practice and all”

“Scared i’m so sore from yesterday and add on the hike today I probably won’t be feeling my body tomorrow”

“lucky for you they start us off easy”

“thank god”

Rose and Emily stayed radio silent for the rest if the night and into the next morning

Lindsey stayed in her room that night and watched a movie with Sarah. 

“where were you today?”

“went on a hike with Emily”

“get it girl”

“no remember i’m not getting it, were just friends. She’s going through something and haven’t talked to her since this morning so who knows if i’m even getting a friendship”

“oh well let’s get your mind off that and focus on this movie because this is the best part”

When they got to practice the next morning it was still Emily and Rose in their little bubble. Lindsey felt guilty so she walked over to Emily. All the other freshmen were looking at her weirdly

“I feel like the absolute shittiest person every. I know it was me who fuck up and triggered you and i’m sorry, please don’t let it ruin what we have”

“It’s fine Lindsey I told you that yesterday, just leave me alone” Emily snapped back

Lindsey walked away feeling worse than before. All throughout the practice she kept glancing at Emily. Emily hated every second it made her feel worse, made her feel fragile. 

When they started walking to the locker rooms Emily pulled Lindsey off to the side

“Lindsey I get it, you feel like a terrible person but you need to stop. Stop looking at me like i’m damaged, I know I am. I know I’m fucked up in my head and I’m depressed to a level that’s scary. But please stop looking at me like that, and stop apologizing because what is done is done and now you can’t go back. I’ll tell you when I feel better, but you’re making it worse by telling me you’re sorry” Emily yelled loud enough so only the people outside the locker room could her. She walked away before Lindsey could say a word

Mal walked up hearing the whole conversation.

“And that right there is why we wait until she comes back to us. I know you’re scared but you don’t need to be Rose has it under control, always has”

“I feel terrible, I caused this and now she’ll probably never talk to me again” She sat against the wall and Mal joined her

“she will and you can trust me about that because the same thing happened to me and Sam. After her episode she came back and apologized because she felt bad for treating us like that. She’ll come back I promise”

“I really hope she does, I feel something with her. I don’t know what it is but I feel safe, comfortable with her. She understands me, my background, everything. So yea I really hopes she comes back”

Emily walked back to her room without Rose, because she was going to get them food. She took a shower back in the locker room, she was so mentally drained that she climbed into Rose’s bed and fell asleep. 

When Rose came back from getting them food, she found Emily dead asleep in her bed and decided to climb in because she knew this would be a long night. Emily woke up and sat in bed which then woke Rose up.

“What’s up”

“I yelled at Lindsey today”

“Son..”

“she was just bothering me. She kept looking at me as if i’m broken and yes i’m very broken I get it, I know. Having her look at me like that fucked me up. We were becoming such good friends and now she looks at me as if i’m her favorite mirror she just broke”

“Emily I get it you don’t want people to look at you like that, but you have to understand she’s new she’s most likely never dealt with this before and now her she is. You have be easier, she feels bad and is looking at you like that because she cares about you. I also she’s young nothing like us, we’ve been through more shit she has. I do know that she’s only 18 but she has a huge heart and half of it is filled with caring about you”

“She barely knows me how could I fill it up so much”

“because Mal told me she sees you as someone she can trust and building that trust in two days means you guys have a special connection. She feels bad, she feels for you. I bought you some banana bread from the cafe” Rose showed her the bread

“you suck”

“what do you mean it’s your favorite”

“that we’re so serious five seconds ago and now we’re talking about banana bread”

“just eat it” She did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment if u counted lmao I want to know. Ready for it will be uploaded next I just fell in love with this story!


	3. ‘Yeah, you got me’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kinda sad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so um changed the name of the story bc i think this goes very good w the storyline. yes it is a line from dua lipa break my heart, don’t judge :)

The next morning Lindsey felt even worse than the day before, mentally and physically. She was still saddened by this whole Emily situation but man did her body fucking hurt. She was sore in places she didn’t even know were possible.

That same morning Lindsey sat with Sam and Mal, while Rose and Emily sat at a table further away from them.

“How much longer do you think she’ll be like that?” Lindsey asked

“Like we said, could be days, could be weeks” Sam reminded her

“Well everyday that passes I feel even more like a piece of shit. I can’t believe i’m the reason this all happened” Lindsey stabbed her salad aggressively 

“Linds you didn’t know. You’re new and you don’t know much about any of us, so for Emily to expect you to know about her past is crazy” Mal chipped in

“yea I guess but that doesn’t make me feel any better. I really thought we were getting somewhere”

“time will tell, come on we have to get ready for practice” Sam concluded their talk

Practice was no different. Emily still didn’t talk to Lindsey but she did start talking to Mal and Sam. At this point she seriously feels like a whole ass trash can. When Emily would glance over at Lindsey, Lindsey would offer her a small smile but then Emily would look away as fast as could.

Lindsey went back to her room after and sat down next to Sarah who was doing her homework.

“Can I help you?” Sarah asked

“do you know anything, anything about Emily?”

“no, I hooked up with her once and only ever smile at her if we pass each other in the hall, why?”

“It’s just she hasn’t talked to me in almost two days now and I don’t know how to fix it. I want to be her friend but I mentioned something that fucked her up and now she won’t talk to me which leaves me to think i’ll never talk to her again” Lindsey spit out fast

“slow your roll there. I’m sure whatever happened between you two will be fixed. Lindsey i’ve known you for what a week but I can tell you don’t give up easily on others. I think you just need to give her time”

“I’ve given her time. I miss her, and that’s stupid of me because i’ve only known her for a little while but she means something to me I can feel it”

“Then wait for as long as she needs, i’m certain she’ll be back. I know I would come back”

“thanks”

“don’t you have a class to get to?”

“SHIT” Lindsey ran our of the room and made her way to her first class, which was public speaking.

Her class flew by. She was excited for this class, as she grew up she had no problem speaking in front of large crowd she actually enjoyed it. It was the one time she felt as if people were paying attention to her and she didn’t get that feeling often. Maybe that’s a reason she feels something with Emily. When they first met Emily noticed her attitude towards Lindsey and felt bad. She was one of the few people in her life time who acknowledged her presence.

~~

The following day at practice was different. Emily had a smile on her face the majority of the time, she could feel her vibe was different. Emily passed by her and whispered.

“5:30 meet at the bench, bring a blanket”

Lindsey was confused on why she would be bringing a blanket, but more than ecstatic that Emily finally talked to her.

At 5:30 Lindsay made her way out of the door and saw Emily sitting on the bench.

“Are you ever late to anything” She asked

“Are you ever early to anything, you seriously gotta pay more attention to the time” Emily responded

“so where are we going that I need this blanket”

“to a park I just didn’t want you to get cold is all”  _ Fuck _ Lindsey thought  _why is she being so nice_.  “come on to the car we go”

5 minutes later they arrived at the park, “you do realize we could have just walked here”

“I know you’re sore, didn’t want to put you through more pain”

“ha ha” Lindsey said sarcastically 

They were walking along the trail and suddenly Emily just dropped down on a patch of grass. Lindsey joined her.

They sat there and took in everything that was happening in front of them, then Emily broke the moment,

“I’m sorry, for avoiding you, snapping at you. You didn’t know better and I should have not been so aggressive.”

“Em it’s fine I deserved it, I should have given

you space. You made it very clear that you need some”

“Thanks for giving me it..space I mean”

“Of course, I could tell you were hurting and as much as I wanted to help I knew I should stay away because I know nothing about you”

“yea there’s quite a bit to learn” Emily said “I talked to Rose and she went on about how much you care and how special our friendship is because I was able to open up to you so fast. She made me realize that we do have something special going on and I want to know what it is. I haven’t felt like this for a while and it almost feels refreshing. In order to see where we go, I need to be honest, open. So I’m gonna tell you why I got the way I did”

“You don’t have to. I’m sure we can continue being friends without you having to talk about this”

“stop I want to so let me”

“okay..”

“When I was eight my dad and I were driving to the athletic store to get equipment. While driving some guy swerved into our lane and hit us. We went flying into the other lanes and ended up hitting a pole that impacted my dad’s side...killing him” Lindsey didn’t know what to do but she could tell this was gonna be long and emotional. She grabbed Emily’s hand to reassure her that she was there.

“I was barely conscious but I could tell my dad wasn’t okay. When I woke up fully my mom and sister were there. You could tell my mom was crying and my sister was too. They told me what happened, and every since that moment i’ve done nothing but blame myself. We were going to get stuff for me and now my dad’s dead. For years I went to this therapist and she was great, I was a depressed mess. My dad meant everything to me, he made sure to come to every single soccer game. He wanted me to be this big star, ‘do what you see fit in your future’ he always told me. He knew soccer means so much to me, and then I lost him, my motivation to keep going. I realized he wanted me to continue doing what I love and that is soccer so I rediscovered my love for it and here we are.”

“I was on anti-depressant but once I got to college it all changed. My mom stopped paying for my meds, because I was old enough to pay for them, and I couldn’t go to my therapist so what was the point of paying her, I have no money to afford it so i’ve been off my meds and haven’t talked to anyone for a while. Now I have nothing and I’m a mess. It’s why Rose means so much to me, she knows about it all and no matter what she knows how to pick me back up and push me along” They were still holding hands 

She continued “When you asked me about my dad it just triggered it all again and I was struggling. I didn’t want to lash out on you, trust me. But I needed to find my way back, I’m back now and i’m okay. I hope all of this doesn’t make you see me differently” Emily finish 

“never Em if anything I see you as the strongest person I know, stronger than me. All of this happened and you still find a way to put smiles on people’s faces even when you’re not feeling you best.” 

“Thank you, for understanding”

“I always will” 

“Alright freshie enough about me, anything you want to say before we leave”

“I’ll share just so were even. Mine isn’t as bad but..here we go. As I told you growing up I always knew I was gay. My parents didn’t though. All I wanted to do was just give up because they never allowed me to express myself. I knew if I tried they would be mad and say that’s not the proper way to dress Linds. I always did what they wanted me to. In the 10th grade this boy asked me out, I said yes because I didn’t want my parents to think anything. When they found out about that boyfriend they were so happy. They invited him to family dinner, he was always at our house. My mom one day told me it was alright to ‘take the next step’ as long as we were safe. The next day I broke up with him because I wasn’t happy and I for sure didn’t want that next step to happen, especially my first time with a guy. Coming here I feel like a new person, I can be the person I always wanted to be and it feels so good.”

“I’m proud of you for realizing it’s not what you want and now you’re happy. I bet it feels good”

“you make me feel good, I noticed that when weren’t talking to me. I felt lost for the first time, I noticed you made me feel rush of energy and excitement and you knew how to make me feel good.”

Emily just looked at Lindsey for a moment. She fought the urge of leaning in, she saw Lindsey head move forward a bit and then quickly got up.

“so we should probably get back. I think Rose wants to watch a movie tonight, you can come if you want.” Emily said whole Lindsey got up

“uh” she thought about the homework she had, “sure why not”

They headed back to the dorms and set up a movie. Rose got the honor of choosing and put on Karate Kid.

“guys you don’t understand I fucking love this movie” Rose said excitedly

“couldn’t tell” Lindsey said from the chair

“Linds why are you sitting in the chair i’m sure Emily would be more than happy to share her bed” Rose said with a smirk

Lindsey recalled back to their awkward moment, “i’m good this chair is very comfortable” her phone went off. It was a text from Sarah.

Sarah- _Ohh so ur good now huh?_

Lindsey- _yea we’re good, and oh my do I have to tell u what went down_

Sarah- _well spill u won’t be back for a while and I might fall asleep_

Lindsey- _okay...i’m pretty certain we were abt to kiss_

Sarah- _WHAT LINDSEY HORAN I THOUGHT U SAID U DIDNT HAVE FEELINGS_

Lindsey- _i mean i thought i didn’t but idk maybe i’m overthinking but i swear, no feelings_

Man was that a lie, especially after that moment. Emily looked at Lindsey and saw her smiling at her messages and wondered who she could have been texting. Rose also noticed and asked,

“who’s that you’re talking to Ms. Smiley”

“No one”

“mhm just spill none of us will say anything”

“it’s this girl Sarah, she’s my roommate”

Rose looked at Emily, her eyes widened, “do you have a thing for her” Emily rolled her eyes

“what no she’s just nice, making sure i’m okay”

“hmm alright but you better tell me if anything happens between you two”

“okay..?”

After Lindsey left Rose confronted Emily.

“you so have a thing for Lindsey”

“do not”

“don’t lie to me I can read you like a book”

“Fine I think Lindsey is..cute, but I’m not gonna go after her she’s not my type”

“shut up you don’t have a type, your type is everyone”

“rude”

~~

The next day the same things happened, school, practice, more school. The 4 girls, Mal, Sam, Emily, and Rose were hanging out alone because Lindsey had a class. 

“guys listen to what happened last night” Rose said

“Rose don’t-“

“Emily thinks Lindsey’s hot and wants her”

“OOOO” Sam said

“Rose when did I say she was hot and I wanted her, I legit said she was cute but i’m not gonna go after her”

“same thing” Rose said

“not the same thing at all” 

“Son you should go for her, she so you’re type and I think she likes you” Mal added

“One she’s not my ‘type’ we’re too alike and i’d just mess her up if we dated and two how do you know she likes me”

“We went to lunch before practice and she couldn’t stop talking about oh my she wouldn’t shut up. Also the entire time you were ignoring her she was really worried about you”

“go for it son” Sam said

“guys stop i’m not going for anything alright just please stop”

“Okay fine we’ll stop” Rose could tell Emily was getting mad

Emily has never felt so many emotions at once, without sad being one of them. She was happy, yet confused, and mad all at the same time. After the others left Emily texted Lindsey 

Em- _ u busy? _

Linds- _just doing hw y?_

Em- _fuck hw come 2 my room, Rose is gone n I need to tell u something_

Linds- _if i fail it’s on u_

Em- _u wont, stop being a baby and come now_

Lindsey arrive 5 minutes later

“What did you need to say so desperately that it couldn’t wait till I was done” Lindsey asked walking in and sitting on Emily’s bed

“Okay tell you that um...well me and your roommate Sarah-“

“hooked up I know. She told me about it, she makes you sound superior at sex but I don’t believe it” Lindsey said

“wait back up, you knew this entire time and didn’t say anything, and I’m very good at sex thanks for asking.”

“mhm sure. She didn’t tell me it all just that you guys hooked up and it was the best sex of her life”

“damn am I really that good?”

“according to her, yes. Is this about what Rose said the other night because she was just messing around I don’t like Sarah like that at all. I have my eye on this other girl in one of my classes. She’s nice, has a great personality and is pretty chill” It hurt her listening to Lindsey talk about another girl, even though it shouldn’t because she didn’t have any feelings for her.

“well she sounds pretty cool. You should for sure go for her, be happy. Know that I’ll always be here to help you with her or any other girls”

“Thanks and yea she’s pretty cool, she knows how to make me feel wanted and like I exist” 

“Linds you’re serious the best how could anyone want to pretend you don’t exist” Lindsey smiled at that

“I should get back, don’t want to fail”

“text me if you need anything”

“for sure”

Lindsey’s feeling were growing and preparing to be crushed at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope u enjoyed!


	4. ‘I should've stayed at home’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhhhh...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! been really tired recently so I haven't written but i'm here now :) I also hate slow burns but I feel like this relationship/duo has a lot to go through until the are okay, lol sorry, i hate it too

For the past couple of weeks the gang, including Lindsey hung out nonstop. Lindsey was able to make friends with the other freshmen but she just felt more comfortable with then older girls. Sitting in class Lindsey wanted to fall asleep, she was dead from the practice yesterday. She had also never been so bored in her life, at this point she wasn’t even paying attention, until she get and interesting text from Emily.

Em- _LINDS U WONT BELIEVE ME I JUST FOUND THIS HOT GIRL IN MY PSYCHOLOGY CLASS_

Linds- _wow u should go for it_

Em- _no silly duck, for u_

_u n her personalities match perfectly_

Lindsey had to be the little shit she was and correct Emily’s grammar.

Linds- _*your guys would be better_

_Also yk I’m not looking, I already have my eye on someone_

Em- _I still don’t get y u just don’t go for it Ik if it were me I’d say fuck it and ask this girl out_

Lindsey starred art her phone wondering how the fuck to respond to that, she didn’t know someone could be so oblivious,

Em- _earth to Linds_

_Don’t leave me hanging 4 class, u don’t need to pay attention_

Linds- _yes I do_

_and it’s not that easy, she’s complicated and wayyy out of my league I’m just being a dumb freshie falling_

Em- _poor girl_

Linds- _I’ll get through it don’t worry_

Em- _oh no I meant poor girl ur crushing on bc she will have a handful if y’all ever become a thing_

Linds- _rude_

Em- _pay attention, I’ve distracted u for too long, young one_

Linds- _u just said it doesn’t matter_

Em- _mind games just wanted to talk to u a little longer is all_

Linds- _aww u miss me_

Em- _no, get to work_

Linds- _yes boss :p_

That weekend was their first game of the year, it was also their home opener. The older girls were working their asses off to get those starting positions but Lindsey was right there beside them. Practice Thursday was an easy one because the coaches wanted the players as rested they could be. The next morning Emily, Rose and Lindsey went out to breakfast without Sam and Mal because the other two wanted there, “beauty sleep”.

“Linds you ready for the game” Rose asked her

“I’m not even gonna play I’m a freshman. You guys will for sure get the start, I should be asking you how you feel..”

“Pfff feeling like a million bucks” Emily said confidently

Rose rolled her eyes, “Says the one who I had to drag out of bed this morning”

Emily looked at Rose “Hey in my defense I wasn’t ready to face the world quite yet” Lindsey laughed

The game came around, just as Lindsey predicted she didn’t get the start but she was okay with it because now she got to watch her friends play. They were playing Arizona State. She sat on the bench and cheered anytime one of them got a touch, she tried to communicate to Rose that the right flank was open and she would be able to have a better chance getting past the defenders. Rose finally understood her and took her advice. Rose was able to pass the defender and quickly use her left foot to slot the ball into the upper left corner. At half Rose walked up to Lindsey,

Rose wrapped her arm around her “Bro thank god you pointed that out, I didn’t even see it” She said

“Hey that’s what the bench is for right, more eyes on the field studying the space so you guys can succeed” Lindsey said

“I feel like you’re gonna be the best Linds just hang in there”

She made her way over to Emily who was sitting on the chair

“You’re doing great Em”

“So are you miss talkative I saw you telling Rose where to go” Emily said

“Not much taking but good observation skills”

Their coach called them in to talk,

“Girls you’re doing great, we need to keep the pace up and keep them tired. Rose excellent job recognizing the opening and taking full advantage of it”

“Thanks but it was Lindsey who told me it was open”

“Great see even if you guys aren’t on the field you can still be a huge part of this team because now were up 1-0, let hold it yea?’

They went back out and in the 75th minute Rose subbed out for Lindsey. She didn’t do much but they were able to hold their lead and the game ended in 2-0. After the game The five girls went out to get food.

“Guys we should totally go to the frat house tonight” Emily suggests

“Do you not remember the last time we were there, oh wait you don’t because you were drunk the entire time” Sam said

“That’s the point Sammy let loose and have fun, plus we have to take Lindsey to her first party at some point, right?”

“She’s got a point” Rose added in

“Fine but if you get drunker than last time and make a dumber decision we’re going back right away” Sam said

“Linds you ready for your first frat party”

“I don’t think I have an option so, yes?”

They arrived at the party 30 minutes later.

“Alright Linds you can come with me and Rose and have real fun or go with Sam and Mal and sit outside and wait for me and Rose to puke our guts out” Emily said

“Screw it, l’ll go with you guys”

“Yes”

Emily dragged her to the alcohol table first. She made Rose a drink and then herself.

“Now Linds I know this is your first party so I’m not forcing it on you but I’m strongly suggesting that you get a bit tipsy for the best experience” Emily said

Rose added, “it’s the only way to survive”

“Well you gonna make me one or not” Lindsey gave in, because fuck it, it’s her first party and her parents aren’t here so it doesn’t matter.

Emily and Rose were four drinks in while Lindsey was nursing her second one. She felt pretty tipsy, she was a lightweight, never drank alcohol before. After the second round of Rose and Emily playing beer pong Rose quit and went to go find Sam. Emily on the other hand was way past okay, and Rose leaving Lindsey to watch over Emily was her biggest mistake.

“Linds come dance with me man, we need to just get it all out before it actually all comes out”

Lindsey was sitting on some random chair looking up at Emily who was standing in front of her, “I don’t feel like dancing”

“Please” she drug out the ‘e’, “for me your hottest best friend” she gave her the puppy eyes

“Who said anything about you being hot” Emily turned around and started walking away. Lindsey wasn’t quite thinking correctly but she did know that if she let Emily go she would most llikely get lost. She got up and grabbed her arm, “one song”

Emily’s smiled reappeared and she took Lindsey to dance. When the first song finished Lindsey started to walk away, but Emily ran in front of her and stopped her.

“The song is over, I said one remember” Lindsey tapped Emily’s hand

“Just let me have one more, I promise it will be worth it.” She placed both her hands on Lindsey’s waist.

They walked slowly back over and Emily was being bold, by bold I mean she started grinding against Lindsey, but slowly almost as if she wanted it to last. Lindsey freezes and has no ideas what to do, half way through the song Emily grabs Lindsey’s hand and places them on her hips. As the song was ending Lindsey started getting into it and easing up. Emily could sense it so she kept going. Once another song past, Lindsey looked at Emily and Emily looked right back. In that moment Lindsey was so lost her eyes she missed Emily leaning in. Before she had time to back away Emily had her lips pressed against Lindsey’s.

Emily pulled back and looked at Lindsey, at this point Lindsey knew Emily wouldn’t remember this and she wouldn’t either, so she pulled her back in. Their lips that were once innocently pressed against each other were now exploring each others mouth’s. Before anything could get further the were physically pulled apart from each other by Sam.

“Seriously Em, this is why I don’t let you be alone. Come on kids we should stop sucking faces and get home before you decide to puke”

With both of them still out of it, they just looked at each other with their cheeks flushed.

“Look who I found sucking faces inside” Sam announced to Rose and Mal, who were waiting outside

“NO FUCKING WAY, I CANT WAIT TO MAKE FUN OF SON TOMORROW HA” Rose said

“Jokes on you Rosie, I will remember” Emily said in a slurred voice

“I’m pretty sure neither of you will remember” Mal said

In the car ride Sam made Mal sit in between Emily and Lindsey afraid of them continuing, she couldn’t trust Rose there because Rose is too much of an instigator. Sam then escorted Lindsey back to her room where Sarah opened the door.

“Oh thank god, I was about to call the police” she said

“Oh sorry, we would have been home earlier but she was a little busy with someone” Sam said, leading Lindsey to her in which she collapsed in.

“Who? I want to make fun of her tomorrow…was it Emily, please let it be Emily” Sarah begged

“Bingo, good luck with this mess. I have no idea what they drank or what they did so all I know is what I saw”

“Thanks, I’ll make sure she make it out alive tomorrow”

“Okay good” Sam left and went back to her own room

~~

The next morning Emily wakes up with a pounding headache.

“What the fuck happened, Rose why’d you let me do this” She complained

“There’s no stopping an Emily Sonnett when it comes to beer” Rose said quietly because she had a headache of her own.

“No seriously want happened the last I remember was the third drink, thank god I’m not in anyone else’s bed”

“You were almost in Lindsey’s” Rose mumbled into her pillow

“Huh”

“You and Lindsey made out last night and if it weren’t for Sam I’m pretty sure Linds wouldn’t be the innocent virgin she is anymore” Rose said more clearly.

“WHAT ROSE WHY DIDN’T YOU STOP ME”

“I wasn’t EVEN THERE” Rose yelled back

“Fuck now she’s gonna think I have feelings for her”

“Wait you don’t have feelings for her, Son that’s fucked up. She was probably so happy thinking you felt like that and now this.”

“Rose what are you talking about”

“She likes you ding dong”

“No she doesn’t, it’s gonna be fine I’ll ask her if she remembers anything and if she doesn’t we’re good”

“You’re so gonna fuck this up” Rose whispered to herself

At recovery that same day Lindsey walked in looking like she was in pain.

“Yo Linds you good?” Emily asked

“No, I have pounding headache that won’t go away and I can’t remember much from last night thanks to your drinks” Emily felt relieved Lindsey didn’t remember

“Me either, I can’t remember what happen after my third”

“I can’t remember after my first, what the fuck do you put in those”

“That’s for me to know and for you to drink it”

“Oh were you trying to get me drunk then, see what happens with a drunk Lindsey?”

“Wasn’t my plan but I’m sure it was fun. I wouldn’t know..”

~~

Later that night Sarah came home.

“Finally, I haven’t seen you in forever. I could have really used your help this morning” Lindsey said

“Sorry was out with some friends. According to your tall friend last night was pretty fun.” She said in a excited voice

“Wouldn’t know, don’t remember”

“Come on Linds don’t pretend you don’t know…last night you and Emily…alone you know” It all came back to Lindsey

“SHIT” She grabbed her phone and ran out the don’t

Linds- _R u in ur room we need to talk…_

_U better b there I’m coming_

_Pls respond_

Lindsey showed up at her door step and knocked. Rose answered the door,

“What do I owe this pleasure Linds” Rose asked

“Where’s Emily I need to talk to her” She said

“Ah so you remember too, she with Sam talking about it”

“Ugh okay thanks” Lindsey started walking away

“Hey Linds..” Rose said

“Yea”

“I’m sorry”

“For…?” Lindsey was confused at this point

“Soon you’ll know” Rose shut her door and Lindsey kept walking to Sam and Mal’s dorm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!! let me know if you like the way this is going!


	5. ‘Had to love and lose a hundred million times’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily has a dum dum moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I rly enjoy this series for some reason lol

Lindsey was walking down the hall, to get to Sam’s dorm room before Emily left. She was about half way there when she saw Emily walk out of the room.

“Em!” She shouted

“Woah there Linds kinda aggressive don’t ya think”

“I remembered”

“What?”

“Last night…do you-“

“Oh yea that..” Emily remembered she told Lindsey earlier she didn’t remember what happened, “..Sam just filled me in” She said

~~

Emily knocked on Sam’s door

“SAM OPEN NOW PLEASE” She shouted, after a few seconds she opened the door

“What?”

“I need you to tell me exactly what happened last night” Emily said

“Come in” she moved out of the way to let Emily enter

“So where do I start, Rose and Mal were ready to go. I was told to go find you guys because Rose was too lazy to walk anymore. I walked in the house looked at the beer pong table then the dance floor, that’s when my concern grew because you were no where near the dance floor. I asked around if anyone saw you and they told me you were with another blonde over my the back door. I made my way over and there you two were making out in the corner of the room. I spilt you up and dragged you guys out and we came back here” Sam explained

Emily dropped her face on her hands “Holy shit, Sam what am I gonna do. She’s gonna think it meant something. If she doesn’t remember, you can’t tell her”

“Son she bound to remember, her roommate knows everything. I bet she already told her.”

“You told her roommate” She looked back up

“She asked why we were late, I had to explain. I didn’t know this would be such a big deal, also you don’t like her? You can’t tell her that”

“Why?”

“Emily she legit has the biggest crush on you”

“Rose said the same..how big, I need to know if I’m gonna destroy her by telling her that I don’t feel the same”

“I don’t know the exact size but she was sad when you didn’t talk to her. Everyday she would ask if we knew anything about how you were doing”

“She could have just been a worried friend”

“No, Sonny she looks at you like you’re the hottest person every, when you look at her you can physically see her face change colors”

“Fuck Sam I have to tell her I don’t feel the same”

“Son I swear if you break her heart or mess her up, I’ll be pissed because she’s perfect for you and you’re letting her slip out of your hands. Also she deserves happiness you and I both know that”

Emily just sat there and stared at the celling letting out a big huff.

~~

“So…”

Emily quickly replied, “I mean it meant noting right? We were both drunk and it was just a ‘in the moment drunk thing’” Lindsey’s heart shattered, of course it was a drunk thing but she was hoping it may have triggered something. She should have known this would happen but she was too blinded by the hope.

“Uh- yea, no you’re 100% right it was a drunk mistake. Meant nothing.”

“Yea, okay glad we’re on the same page…” Emily’s phone buzzed, “I have to go, I meeting with this girl from one of my classes”

“Oh…have fun” it hurt to tell the person she like to have fun with some one else. As Emily walked away a tears started threatening to come, but she wouldn’t let herself cry over Emily. Not some stupid crush that she knew was a mistake from the first place. She remembered what Rose told her earlier and she felt like an idiot, knowing Emily wouldn’t be back in her room she walked back to talk to Rose

She knocked and Rose answered instantly. When Rose saw Lindsey’s face the only think she could do was apologize.

“I’m sorry, she an idiot” Rose said

“She’s your best friend”

“Doesn’t change the fact that she’s an idiot.”

“I shouldn’t even be here she could come back and I don’t really want to see her yet”

“She won’t, did she tell-“

“Yea don’t remind me where she is…how do you know I like her?” Lindsey asked

“It’s pretty obvious and Emily is just blind and didn’t put together the signs”

“Do you all know, except her?”

“Yea we talk about it..and she…knows” Lindsey’s heart completely broke now. The tears that were once threatening to fall were falling. The fact that Emily knew she liked her but still said the kiss meant nothing just confirmed that it was time to give up.

“I don’t know why I’m crying, I knew it was stupid of me to like her. Here we are confirming the stupidity” She said through tears. Rose hugged her and kept saying she was sorry. A few minutes later Rose backed up.

“Lindsey listen to me. You’re not gonna be sad or mope over this okay? I know I haven’t known you for long but I know you’re stronger than this and I’m not letting you cry over Emily. She doesn’t deserve your tears, not yet. You need to be stronger and show her that it didn’t effect you, okay?” Lindsey nodded

“Now go clean up and get back to your room” Lindsey started walking to the door

“Rose…thank you”

“Anytime”

~~

The girls all met at breakfast the next morning. Taking in what Rose said, Lindsey arrived with a smile and a happy mood. She decided to sit next to Mal not being brave enough to sit neat Emily yet, baby steps. Half way through the meal Mal dropped the ball and nearly made Lindsey choke on her food

“So Son how was the date?” Rose looked at Lindsey trying to gauge her reaction

“It was okay, but it’s not going anywhere. She’s just not it” Emily said playing with the food on her plate

“What was wrong with her?” Mal egged on, while Rose was trying to tell her to stop with her eyes

“She just wasn’t the type I see myself with in the future”

“Oh, what is you’re-“

“Sam have you watched the show I recommended you” Rose interrupted wanting Mal to stop

“Yea I did, it’s okay not your best Rosie”

“Whatever” Lindsey looked at Rose and smiled thanking her for changing the subject

Later that day Emily and Rose were walking to practice together,

“Rosie I need to tell you something and you’re gonna be mad, like pissed, you’ll want to slap me”

“Oh goodie, what is it?”

“The reason why my ‘date’ wasn’t good was because, I uh..well you see…”

“Son spit it out”

“I was thinking about Lindsey the entire time” Rose stopped walking

“What do you mean by that, like you were thinking of your conversation or..”

“How do you know about that?”

“Lindsey showed up at our room saying she needed to talk and then texted me later saying she found you and you guys talked” They continued walking

“Oh…and yea, I was thinking about that and I was thinking what Sam told me..about the way she looks at me and shit like that. Have I really been that blind?”

“Yes you have, she really likes you Son…did she tell you that?”

“No she said the kiss meant nothing, it may have been because I said that first because it did, I think?”

“EMILY, you can’t tell her it meant nothing and then double guess yourself the next day”

“I know but Rose maybe I always wanted it to kinda happen, I mean they do say drunk minds speak a sober heart. Maybe I always low-key wanted it to happen and it just took my drunk self to make the move”

“Son you can’t play with her like that. I can’t imagine how she felt when you told her it didn’t mean anything and now you think it did”

“I don’t know it could just be my mind running” they open the door to the locker room and walk in

~~

This weeks game was away. They play Penn State in Pennsylvania. On the plane ride there Lindsey sat with some other freshmen while in front of her Emily sat next to Mal. Emily wrote a note on napkin and passed it back to Lindsey,

_Hey Mal fell asleep and I’m bored_

_we haven’t talked much this week, wanted_

_to know if we’re okay?_

Lindsey read the note and wrote, with a provided pen back,

_Yea we’re okay, y wouldn’t we be_

_just had a rough week, sorry_

Emily wrote on the other side

_Is it bc of what I said? after that_

_we stopped talking, don’t b sorry_

_i’m sorry if I said something that hurt u_

Lindsey didn’t feel like crying on a plane or continuing the conversation so she crumbled the paper and didn’t respond. A few minutes later Emily looked back and saw Lindsey looking out her window and she turned back around.

When they got back to the hotel, Lindsey and Rose roomed. Emily was with a sophomore. Lindsey knew she was fucked because she knew Emily would for sure randomly pop up in their room and Lindsey didn’t want to see her.

They get through the night without any sign of Emily which was good she finally got the hint. The next day in the locker room was a different story. Emily was on a different side of the room than Lindsey, which meant she could see her every move.

“Em stop looking at her” Rose walked over and told her

“I’m not” Lindsey took off her shirt to change into her jersey and Emily had a clear view of her body

“Well you’re fucked because that’s what you’re missing”

Emily slapped her “Rose shut up” Lindsey turned around and made eye contact with Emily who was looking at her. She quickly put her jersey on and turned around.

Lindsey started this game and so did Emily, Rose, and Mal. In the 30th minute one of the girls crossed the ball and Lindsey jumped making contact with her head and it hot the back of the net. Rose ran over and jumped on her while Mal cam’e and pushed her forward cheering her on. Emily jogged over not wanting to make it awkward so she said, “nice one Linds” and patted her back

They won that game 2-1 and made their way back to their respective rooms. Lindsey got a text when she was laying in bed.

Mom _-_ _Nice goal sweetie! So proud can’t wait to see you again! Call me soon, love you!_

Lindsey _-Thanks mom! I call you sometime tomorrow!_

Rose was in Emily just hanging.

“Rose I really fucked up”

“I know”

“What should I do?”

“I don’t know”

“Rose please” Emily begged

“Listen Em you dug yourself in this hole and now you have to get yourself out”

“I know but I don’t know how. How do I tell her ‘remember when I told you the kiss meant nothing and I broke your heart, well just kidding I actually like you’”

“Yea there’s no good way to say that is there”

“NO”

“I should head out, have fun figuring this out”

“Rose-“ the door shut

She thought about just showing up to her room but realized that could not go well. She decided to take a different route.

~~

Lindsey got a text a few minutes later…

Em _-hi I know u don’t want 2 talk but will you at least meet me for coffee? I just need to b okay w u_

Linds _-okay but quick, I’m tired_

Em _\- meet in the lobby_

The two met in the lobby found a place to sit with their crappy hotel coffee. Emily got straight to the point not knowing how long she could keep Lindsey down there with her,

“I’m sorry for what I said, it obviously effected you in some way. Rose and Sam told me you liked me and I didn’t know how to tell you I didn’t feel the same way. I must have said it in a harsh way because now you barely talk to me” Emily said

Lindsey looked down at the sound not wanting to make eye contact, “No you said noting wrong, I just..they were right, I did like you.”

Emily looked at her “Did like me?”

Lindsey sighed“…do like you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my...


	6. ‘I’m indecisive but this time I know for sure’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily and Lindsey talk...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know another chapter so soon, but i was sad last night and writing this made me feel better so here it is...

Durning Emily’s life she has been surprised a good amount of times. For her 10th birthday it was surprise party, at 11 her mom came home with a random dog she found, at 16 she had her first kiss with a girl and really enjoyed it. Now she’s wondering why she is so surprised when Lindsey told her that. She already knew that information but Lindsey telling her in person felt like a conformation,

After a few moments of awkward silence Lindsey spoke up, “…I should go, as I said I’m tired”

“Lindsey-“

Lindsey interrupted “I don’t really want to hear you say the words I think you’re gonna say. I recovered from the last time and I’m not ready to be broken again”

“Linds”

“Night Em” She walked towards the elevators.

Emily was pissed for two reasons one Lindsey didn’t even let her speak for herself, she just shot her down. Two because Lindsey told Emily everything was alright but it really wasn’t

When she got back to her room the next day, she called her mom liked she promised.

“Hey mom how are you guys”

“We’re good, amazing goal last night”

“Thanks”

“Some girl from your high school was showing me you instagram and I saw many outfits that just didn’t go, I mean sweats to class Linds no man wants a girl who where’s sweats.” Lindsey wanted to hang up but she powered through.

“Mom I didn’t come to college to impress boys, I came here to play soccer and get good education”

“If you wanted education you would have picked Stanford”

“Please just stop”

“Well me and your dad want to see you! We’re gonna try and come down within the next few weeks”

“Okay mom sounds good, I have to go talk to you later”

~~

Days have passed, phones have not buzzed with the same enthusiasm they once did. Lindsey still met up with the girls every now and then but at this point she preferred to not be near Emily and would rather eat alone.

It was Tuesday when Lindsey was over being alone. For the majority of high school she spent alone, ate her lunch in private away from the people who bothered her the most. She moved to UVA to be different, herself. If she learned anything about herself it’s that she likes eating with the group rather than alone, she also took Rose’s words into account and wouldn’t let herself be petty over it anymore,

Linds- _I need you the be one hundred percent honest when you tell me this. I need you to tell me if I have a chance or if I need to move on and get out. You’ve been messing with my head for far too long and I’m sick of missing out on sleep thinking I have a chance, I know I don’t so I need you to the say the words, for me._

Emily phone had died 10 minute prior to the text being sent. She was in her last class with around 30 minutes left. Lindsey let her off the hook knowing she had a class, but when it reached 2 hours later is when she really gave up. Now at 10 pm she’s looking back at her text reading every word through seeing if she said anything wrong. Read through number 30 the put her phone down and called it a night.

Around 12 Emily finally got to a charger and saw she had a text from Lindsey that was sent around 4 hours ago. She scrabbled to open the message reading it fast. She had to read it a second time because the first time was just a skim and she actually forgot to read it.

Em- _Lindsey I never said anything, well yea I did but that was past em and she was stupid. Like I said I have no control over past Emily and her action. If you would let me speak I would have told you something that I hope you would want to hear. When u get this knock on my door and well go talk_

When Lindsey woke up the next morning her first instinct was to turn on her phone, when she saw Emily texted back she set her phone down trying to mentally prepare herself for what disaster might come next. As she read it she ran to her shoes slipping them on and sprinted down the Emily and Rose’s room,

“Hello” Rose said in a groggily voice while rubbing her eyes

“Is she still here?” Lindsey asked

“Uh she’s asleep” Lindsey walked over to her bed and shook the mattress, making Emily shoot up.

“God Linds I told you to wake me not scared me to death” She said in a deep voice

“Sorry didn’t know how else to wake you”

“Guessing you got my text?” Emily asked getting out of bed

“Yea, can we go now Rose doesn’t look happy I woke her” Emily slipped shoes on opting to go out in her sweats and practice shirt, Lindsey in a similar attire.

“Can I take you somewhere…for breakfast…you know” Emily asked as they exited the building

“Sure you have the keys”

Around 5 minutes later they arrived at the Waffle House (yk I had to add it at some point ;))

“Seriously?” Lindsey asked

“Breakfast of champions”

They entered and were seated at a booth near the middle of the restaurant, they sat on opposite sides. Lindsey was playing with the sugar packets while Emily was messing around with the coffee creamers.

“Anything I can get for y’all” the waitress asked

“Two coffee’s please” Emily answered for both of them

“Okay will be out soon”

“How do you know I want coffee what if I wanted water”

“I know you better than that, you never pass up coffee hot or iced” Emily looked up at Lindsey who was still messing with the sugar packets. She reached across and moved the packets away causing Lindsey to glance up at her

“Can we please talk now, and by we I mean will you let me say what I want to say”

“Yea sorry I just wasn’t ready to face the fact you were going to reject me…again”

“Nothing but your mind told you that. If you were to let me speak I would tell you that…I’m confused”

The waitress came back with both their coffees and asked what they wanted, Emily once again ordering for both of them.

“You’re confused..?”

“Not in a bad way, it’s just every happened so fast Lindsey, we met like three months ago and somehow, you fell for me, we made out and now her I am saying I’m falling for you too” Lindsey actually looked at her this time

“Before you start to chip in I want to make this all clear. Yes I am falling for you. The thing is that I haven’t been in a relationship in years, and my last girlfriend I remember liking her for a while before any of this happened. The fact that I’m here telling you how I feel, telling you the reason my date went so poorly was because you were on my mind, is the scariest shit I’ve done in a while. It scares me how fast you took over my mind and how much I want you. The looks in the locker rooms are my mind telling me that I’m fucked, everything I do I think about you and if you would approve, I mean I’m whipped for a freshman. A freshman is controlling my brain right now” Lindsey giggled at the part

“I don’t know where we stand after this. Where we’re going, but ever since you stopped eating with us or hanging out with us is place I know I don’t want to go back to. So now that everything is out, do you have anything you want to say?” Emily finished

“You’re right, it is scary falling that fast. I know because I did it, very fast, and the one person I wanted to tell I couldn’t because she was the one I was falling for..am falling for, not quite sure i’ve touched the bottom yet. It is all going fast, but like I said Em there’s something between us that i’ve never felt before, something more. Which is why I fell so hard, but I’m scared that if this all happens now it might not be there later and I don’t want that.”

“Me either”

The waitress came out with there food and set it down on the table,

“Omg why did you get so much”

“You have to splurge at Waffle House” They were eating when Lindsey set her fork down

“I don’t remember what it felt like but I for some reason want to feel it again”

“What?”

“You kissing me”

“Hm, yea I don’t remember it either but I wouldn’t be mad if we did it again to get the feel”

“No, we still haven’t figured it out and until we do, no kiss”

“Okay lets get it all out then, I want to be with you but I’m scared it’s happening too fast”

“Me too”

“I really want it though,”

“You just want my body”

“No I don’t…I want your laugh, your dimple, your eyes, I want people to ask if you’re taken and you say yea, I want to to with you not just your body, but I’m not gonna lie your body is a nice added bonus”

“I never had anyone say that about me, let alone a girl who I like.”

“No one not even an ex?”

“My ex’s wanted me for my body, nothing more”

“I don’t, I don’t want to be one of your ex’s ever-”

“I just think we need to take it slow. I really want this and my brain is telling me the same and I’m pretty certain yours is to”

“Yea it is”

“We need to do this slow, make boundaries so that we don’t take it too fast and screw up”

“..like?”

“Only PG kissing, no sex, no hickies, no PDA, and we can’t let the others know”

“Okay so basically I can kiss you once but only when were only which is like never”

“We’re alone right now, idiot”

“Oh,” she started leaning across the table before Lindsey’s hand stopped her

“You’re gonna be difficultto handle with that PDA huh?”

“You know it, I’m bound to break a rule without even realizing it. I don’t know who you think I am.”

“Fine, we’ll readjust a bit. We can tell Rose and Rose only, and I’ll allow you to have SOME PDA.”

“What a bargain, okay it’s a deal”

They finish eating there meal and Emily paid for the whole thing not allowing Lindsey to even think about it. Emily grabbed Lindsey’s hand on the way to the car, which she held onto until the very last moment. In the car Emily asked

“Hey you have anything going on, on Saturday?”

“No, why?”

“Yes you do silly goose, we’re going on a date”

“That was not sly, I hope you know”

“Yea whatever” Emily reached her hand across placing it on Lindsey’s thigh but closer to her knee. It made Lindsey tense and Emily could sense it pulling away.

“Sorry was that too much? I mean you said nothing about touchi-“ She tired to rush to get out

“Em it’s okay I just wasn’t ready…put it back”

“You sure” Lindsey grabbed her hand forcing it back to the spot

“I’m sure”

~~

A day has passed Emily and Lindsey in their own world. It was Thursday now and Lindsey was laying on her bed while Emily took a nap resting her head on Lindsey chest. Lindsey was playing with Emily’s baby hairs when she got a text from Rose asking where they were,

Lindsey- _were in my room, come here I have to tell u something_

Rose- _ok be there in a sec, is the door unlocked?_

Lindsey- _ya_

Just on time Rose busted through the door waking Emily up from her nap,

“What in the mother trucker is going on in here?” Rose asked seeing how close the two of them were

“Yea that’s what I wanted to tell you, me and Em talked it through on Wednesday and we decided to give us a shot but take it slow, slow” Lindsey said

“In what country does slow mean sleeping in each others beds?”

“Rosie it’s not like we’re SLEEPING,” Emily emphasized, “with each other it’s just innocent naps” 

“Does anyone else know?”

“Nope you’re the first and only, well until we’re ready.”

“So like how slow is this slow” They explain it to her and if Rose is being honest she couldn’t be more proud.

“I’m happy for you guys, and proud that you realized it’s going fast and it may be dangerous to your future”

“Thanks mom” Emily said

“And now I’m leaving” she walked out the door before either one could stop her

“I should probably go, Sarah will be back soon and you need sleep before tomorrows game” she kissed Lindsey’s cheek causing her to blush, “see you tomorrow”

“Come on not even one on the lips”

“Haven’t taken you out on a proper date. Will kiss you once that happens, goodnight”

“Goodnight”

A hour later she got text from Emily

Em- _you better dream about me_

Linds- _ditto_

The next day they play a game against Georgia. Lindsey didn’t play but Emily did, again of course. They won successfully, 3-1. As her and the other girls were standing on the field afterwards Emily heard a familiar voice calling her name from the stands, she looked up and saw her mom waving at her. Lindsey bumped her with her elbow

“Is that your mom?”

“Yea, what is she doing her?” She asked herself and then it hit her, “Georgia”

“What about it?”

“I’m from there she wanted me to go to that school but I wanted to get away. So now she makes it a ‘tradition’ to come to every game we play against them”

“Oh, well it looks like she’s coming down”

“Great, come on meet my mom that messed me up”

“I’m good, not at the meeting parents stage yet”

“You’re not even my..girlfriend” she whispered, “yet”

“Oh so it’s coming”

“For sure, come on bestie” Emily grabbed her hand, dragging her towards her mom

“I thought that was Rose’s job”

“Hey mom, I almost forgot about this whole ’tradition’ of yours”

“Of course sweetie wouldn’t miss it for the world” her mom said

“Mhm, uh mom this is Lindsey, Linds this is my mom”

“Oh I’ve never met you before, I’ve seen the other but not you”

“Mrs. Sonnett” Rose says walking towards them

“Oh hi dear, Emily was just introducing me to her new friend”

“Oh yea this is Lindsey, she’s pretty cool for a freshmen” Lindsey slapped Rose, “kidding she’s the best, you should feel safe knowing your daughter is with her”

“Oh good, well nice to meet you Lindsey hope to see you again soon, so dear we good for dinner tonight?”

“Crap” Emily said under her breath, she told Lindsey she would hers tonight, “I uh-“

“Can you give us a second” Lindsey interrupted, dragging Emily away a bit

“I don’t want to go Linds”

“I know but you have to she’s your mom, plus we’ll be alone tomorrow” Lindsey poked her making Emily smile

“Yea I guess, but if this goes wrong expect to find me at your doorstep tonight”

“We’ll cuddle all night if that happens, now go she’s waiting”

Hours later Lindsey’s phone kept buzzing

Em- _hey_

Linds- _hi, how was it?_

Em- _still has her opinions, not doing okay but not doing bad_

Linds- _are you hinting ur at my doorstep?_

Em- _no doorstep need tonight, maybe a diff night tho_

Linds- _I’m sorry I wish I could change her mind, bc if she saw what I see she would see a beautiful young woman who has the right to date whatever sex she prefers as long as said beautiful women is happy_

Em- _I rly want to kiss u rn_

Linds- _tmrw, goodnight_

Em- _who told u that possible false info, goodnight_

Linds- _you_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another thing is school starts next week, i'm not going back back to school but i'm gonna be dead in the brain so idk how often i'll update


	7. ‘I hope I'm not the only one that feels it all’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First date...like the title said, lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the sake of the story Lindsey has blonde hair ;) I know this first date is cliche and shit but this is where my mind took me

It was Saturday morning, when there was a hard knock on Lindsey’s door, she sleepily walked over to the door and opened it only revealing her face,

“Hi you, it’s date day” Emily said with a smile

“Why are you here so early?” Lindsey said in a deep voice

“Its not that early, it’s like ten” Emily looked at her nonexistent watch

“That’s too early, it’s the weekend, let me sleep”

“No you look good, we have a lot of plans today let’s get going lady”

“How much could you possible pack into a day..?”

“A lot, now go get dressed and meet at my car”

“You realize I have no idea-“ Emily quickly walked away, “okay”

Lindsey got dressed while texting Emily that she has no idea where she parked. All Emily told her was her first hint was on her door. She walked and opened her door seeing a piece of paper taped on it, that definitely wasn’t there when she first opened the door. She read it,

_Good morning, ur second hint is where I first apologized to u. Have fun_

_(Ps bring a bathing suit w u)_

Lindsey thought to herself, _What the fuck did I get myself into,_ she grabbed a bathing suit and had to figure out the hint next. She thought back and remembered that Emily apologized to her the first day they met over by the benched outside their dorms.

She walked downstairs, out the doors and saw a box that had huge letters written on it, LINDSEY. She opened the box and found coffee and another note.

_Wow ur smart and hot! what a deal. ur next hint is be on time, good luck this one is harder. Also enjoy the coffee :)_

She smiled at this one, the fact Emily called her hot made her feel shy inside. She thought back to the first day they met again. _Be on time?_ it hit her that she was late to the training with them on the first day. She was walking to the fields about ready to text Emily about how much of a bitch she was for making her walk so far, until she saw another sign that read _Lindsey stop her and turn 90 degrees and walk three steps._ She did as told and she was now standing the middle of the street when Emily pulled up next to her rolling down the window,

“Hey there need a ride” Emily said

“I hate you, you made me do all that thinking and walking for this”

“That’s why I got you coffee, knew you wouldn’t be happy”

“You’re right, where are we going?”

“You’ll see. Did you do as told?”

“Yes” she waved her bathing suit in the air

“Good now on to the adventure”

An hour into the drive and they were still no where. Under normal circumstances Lindsey would be mad and complaining about the long drive, but Emily was holding her hand while the other hand was holding the wheel. It didn’t matter what Emily did, every little thing gave Lindsey butterflies.

Another ten minutes pass and Emily looked over at Lindsey, all the windows were down, including the sunroof and the wind was causing the baby hairs sticking out of Lindsey’s pony tail to fly. She would look back the road every couple of seconds but was so distracted by Lindsey’s beauty she knew then and there she was fucked for falling so hard so fast. Lindsey then stared complaining as she caught Emily’s eye,

“Okay I was trying my hardest not to complain but how much longer my ass hurts from sitting in your uncomfortable seats” she said loudly

“Almost there I promise” Emily said squeezing Lindsey’s hand

When they pulled onto a road that said private property, Lindsey got nervous. Emily rolled up all the windows and Lindsey asked cautiously,

“Um are we suppose to be here because I’m pretty certain that sign said private property back there” She said pointing back towards the sign

“You know you’re no fun, also yes I know the people who live here and they said I can come whenever so jokes on you”

“Oh, do you bring all you’re girls here” Lindsey joked bringing her back to there first ‘fight’, “sorry”

“It’s okay and no I only bring the hot, tall, blonde ones” Emily said with a grin on her face

“That was cheesy I hope you know that” Emily parked the car

“Get out” she demanded

“Alright, calm down” she got out of the car and looked behind her seeing a lake, “did you rent out a lake just for me” Lindsey said sarcastically

“No, but I know a private place here, let’s go” she walked around the car and took Lindsey’s hand in hers

They walked a bit and went into this hut type place. As Emily opened the door she let Lindsey walk in first. It was cute, small definitely made for one or two people. A queen bed in one corner, a sink with a piece of counter next to it, table with two seats next to a window that looked out at the ocean and a curtain the hid, what Lindsey guessed a toilet and shower. There was also a little couch and tiny tv in the other corner.

“This is so cute” Lindsey said taking it all in, “how’d you meet these people?”

“Don’t think you want to know that, but you can take a wild guess” Lindsey sat on the couch

“So we have this to ourselves all day” Lindsey asked

“Mhm today and tomorrow”

“Tomorrow..?” Lindsey was now nervous because she didn’t know this ‘date’ was suppose to last more than a day. I mean it’s called a date, they only last a certain amount of hours. She was also hoping Emily wasn’t expecting anything because they’re taking it slow for a reason.

Emily could read the worry on Lindsey’s face, “Oh no, don’t worry..I’m- I’m not expecting..you know.. I don’t, we don’t have to you know..-“

“Oh okay, yea no we don’t, we’re taking it slow…yea?”

“Yes! Yes slow, very slow. I can sleep on the couch, if you don’t want to you know sleep-“

“No, no I- we can sleep together..well not together but you know..together”

“Okay yea together, but not together together, yea…yea” It was awkward moment until Lindsey spoke up again,

“You should have told me we were staying until tomorrow, I didn’t bring any clothes”

“You can wear mine I brought some extra, speaking of which I’m gonna go get that and the food”

“Food?”

“Of course did you seriously think I would forget the food, I know you” she tapped Lindsey’s nose on her way out causing Lindsey’s nose to scrunch up

Lindsey laid on the bed waiting for Emily to come back. She thought back to the conversation and how embarrassing it was, of course they weren’t going to sleep together. She was stuck in her train of thoughts until the sound go the door opening pulled her out.

“You hungry, I know I only got you coffee but I have other food here now”

“No I’m good, so what are we gonna do…?”

“I was thinking we could go back to sleep because I know I’m fucking tired, you shouldn’t have let me get up that early”

“I agree, and that was your own fault” Lindsey fell back into the bed and kicked off her shoes

“You waste no time”

“None now come here..if you want”

“Hold on let me put this away and I’ll be there” She set her last thing down and made her way to the bed climbing under the sheets. They had taken naps together before so why this one was so weird Emily doesn’t know but she felt better once, Lindsey reached over and grabbed Emily’s hand dragging her over to her own side. Lindsey rolled on her side and made Emily spoon her from behind.

“Better now” she mumbled before falling back to sleep. Emily left a little kiss on Lindsey’s neck and drifted off into her own wave of sleep.

Two hours later they both woke up in completely different positions. Emily was now facing the opposite way and Lindsey was on her back. Emily was the first awake and rolled over to look and see if Lindsey was awake. She was just looking at her until Lindsey’s eyes opened slowly and saw Emily staring at her.

“Creep” Lindsey said rolling Emily’s direction

“Get up, let’s go swimming”

“You just want to see me in a swim suit I know your dirty plans”

“Maybe, but maybe I just want to have fun”

“I call the bathroom first”

“Go for it, ladies first”

“Oh such a gentlemen” Lindsey climbed over Emily and walked into the bathroom with her swim suit in hand

Lindsey walked out and Emily couldn’t stop looking

“I’m putting a shirt on now”

“No don’t I promise I’ll stop. Eyes now glued to your face I swear” Emily said trying her hardest to not look at Lindsey’s defined body

Emily got changed and walk out seeing Lindsey wasn’t out there anymore. She made her way outside and saw her sitting on a towel in the sand.

“I see someone got impatient” Emily teased

“Very, you took too long, wasting the day” She looked at Emily

“Mmm, wanna get in the water with me?” She said sticking out a hand

“Not really but I’ll have to at some point won’t I?”

“Yep” Lindsey took her hand and walked in the water

“Fuck it’s cold”

“It’s not that bad you’ll get use to it” Emily said, “just go under and stay there, you’ll feel better” Emily went under and came back up

“I’m good I’ll just stay here” Lindsey said not moving

“Nope” Emily started walking towards Lindsey and grabbed her by the waist and pulled her under water. As they came back up Emily was still holding her waist and didn’t let go

“Mother fucker I knew you were gonna do that” Lindsey said wiping her face from the water

“Had to babe” The butterflies came back to Lindsey’s stomach and caused a smile to reach from each side of her face. That’s when it hit Lindsey that Emily’s hands were on her hips, so she made the move to put her hands on Emily’s side. That movement caused Emily’s arms to rise and wrap around Lindsey’s neck.

“You’re do pretty” Emily whispered

“You’re even more pretty” Lindsey whispered back

They stayed like that for a solid 5 minutes. Just staring into each others eyes, inching closer to each other every passing second. They were millimeters apart when Emily said,

“I’m gonna do it now..” Lindsey nodded

Emily closed the distance between their two lips, which both tasted like the lake water. It was a slow, tender kiss. Not able to gauge Lindsey’s complete reaction Emily pulled back a bit and looked at Lindsey who had her eyes still closed.

“Woah” Lindsey said opening her eyes, now looking at Emily

She leaned back in and this kiss was more messy and needy almost as if she needed to kiss Emily to survive. After a few more seconds she pulled back,

“Fuck that’s like a drug” Lindsey whispered making Emily laugh

“That was a lot better, worth the wait if you ask me”

“Oh yea for sure, I can expect more of that in the future right?” She smiled

“Of course” Emily went back in. This kiss lasting longer than the other two. This kiss going deeper than the other two. Emily brushes her tongue against Lindsey’s bottom lip causing a noise to come out of Lindsey throat. She opened her mouth allowing the entrance of Emily tongue. After they made out for a few minute Lindsey pulled away out of breath.

“Wow they don’t tell you how much making out takes out of a person” she said with a shortage of breath

“You’re so cute, let’s get out, yea?”

“Yea” they walked out and curled up in their towels. Lindsey sat down in the sand again while Emily went inside to get some water and food. She walked back out and sat herself in between Lindsey’s legs,

“Getting cozy I see” Lindsey said

“Cold”

“I told you” They sat in the sun for a bit, drying off. Lindsey was playing with Emily’s hair as she was in the same position as before

“We’re gonna get sunburned why don’t we go inside and take showers than we can cuddle on the couch yea?”

“Mhm” They walk inside and Lindsey lets Emily take a shower first and then she goes in right after.

They laid on the couch for a bit before dinner. Emily had a little picnic planned, she set it up facing the sunset. She took Lindsey out and she was in such aw that she almost cried,

“I love it Em. No one has ever done this for me before, you’re the most special person in my life.” She gave her a quick kiss. They sat down and started eating their sandwiches,

“Linds?”

“Hm”

“I know we wanted to take it slow but fuck it, you mean so much to me and how I figured that out so fast I’ll never know. I do know that I want to be yours, will you be my girlfriend?”

Lindsey look over at Emily and smiled, “yes, of course” she leaned over and kissed Emily passionately. The perfect ending to a perfect day. That night the two of them laid in bed this time the opposite from earlier in day.

“I don’t know when I’ll be ready, I know it’s not soon but when I get there I’ll let you know. Thank you for letting me take my time” Lindsey whispered in the dark room that had some of the moonlight shining through.

Emily didn’t need to be told what Lindsey met, she already knew, “I’ll wait as long as you need me to. There’s no rush, you deserve to be comfortable and ready when that time come” she said back

“Goodnight”

“Goodnight” Lindsey kissed her cheek before resting her head on the pillow.

~~

The next morning they woke up in each other’s arms,

“Good morning sleepy head” Lindsey was playing with Emily’s hair while she slept

“Mmm, morning” Emily mumbled into the pillow

“We should get back, I bet the other girls won’t stop asking where we are”

“Mhm, just ignore them”

“Why, we have to tell them at some point”

“No yet, I want it you and me for a while, no other opinions”

“Alright”

They started their walk back to the car,

“Damn I don’t remember the walk being this long” Emily said

They made it back to the car and settled in for the ride back to the dorms. Hand in hand they flew down the freeways, stoping to get coffee on the way back. Once they got to the dorms Emily walked Lindsey to her room.

“I had a great time” Lindsey told her

“Me too” Emily said getting closer

“See you soon I hope” Lindsey was backed against the wall

“You’re never getting a rid of me now” She closed the distance with a soft kiss against Lindsey’s lips

Emily slowly pulled away and whispered, “Bye” between the tiny space between them two.

“Bye”

Emily walked away being the happiest she’s been since the medication, and this time it was pure happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this all happening too fast? lmk. I do have some plans thooo.


	8. ‘I wonder when you go, if I stay on your mind’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda hate this chapter lol. did no go over it so yea, sorry for mistakes.

It’s been a few days, Emily and Lindsey have tried to see each other but with it being the weekday they were busy with classes. It was nice they were able to see each other at practice but they were trying to seem as normal as possible so it was kind of weird.

Rose, Mal and Sam were going out for dinner which meant that Emily had the room to herself for a bit

Em- _hey wanna come over_

Linds- _no rose scares me_

Em- _she not here, come pls I miss u :(_

Linds- _ok but if she comes back I’m leaving_

Em- _u does she scare u sm?_

Linds- _bc she just does idk, b there in a sec_

About two minutes later Lindsey knocked on the door and Emily answered it,

“Hi cut-“ Lindsey was cute off by Emily kissing her, she pulled Lindsey into the room with her.

Lindsey dropped her bag and pushed Emily against the wall. Emily brushed her tongue across Lindsey’s mouth, resting her arms on Lindsey’s shoulders. Lindsey opened her mouth allowing Emily’s tongue to start exploring. Lindsey started getting more comfortable and her hand landed on Emily’s hips and pressed her thumbs into her hip bones. Things got a little heated before Lindsey had to finally pull away before it went further.

“That was a greeting, hopefully you don’t do that to every girl that walks through this door”

“I had dream about Rose once, went to the doctor the next day and had brain surgery so I’m good now” Emily joked

“Shut up” Lindsey walked away from Emily and jumped on her bed. Emily jumped on top of her making Lindsey huff

“Don’t make it seem like I’m heavy”

“I just wasn’t expecting it is all” She started playing with Emilys hair

“I really missed you..”

“Me too”

“You should come over more, I don’t care if Rose makes fun. I want to see you more then just at practice”

“I’m not terrified of Rose. It’s just that, she’s been her since day one for you. I don’t want her seeing something and then tell you that I’m not good for you. Then she’ll hate me and I’m scared.”

“She’d never do that. She called me stupid for not making a move on you sooner” Lindsey stayed quite, and Emily looked up at her, “hey look at me” she made Lindsey look at her

“What”

“I will never let her make a decision for me. I know you Lindsey you’d never do anything to mess us up, but if we do break up I’m 90% sure she’d take your side. She loves you” Emily kissed her

Emily laid her head back down and her own thought got her thinking, “ _shit do I love Lindsey?”_ She laid there and thought it over “ _even if I do she’s not ready to hear it so just..stop”_

“Hey did you space out there?” Lindsey asked

“Huh, yea sorry. What did you say?”

“Thank you for telling me that, it made me feel better”

“That my best friend would take your side”

“No goof that she likes me and that you’ll never let anyone come between us..it makes me feel better about us”

“I’d do anything for us” She kissed Lindsey again softer then earlier, but Lindsey put force on her end. Emily got up and straddled Lindsey on the bed and bit her bottom lip causing Lindsey to pull back. 

“Sorry was that-“

“No I just need to know that you know this is just making out”

“Yea I know, you need time and I’m okay with that..it’s just making out”

“Okay, I’m sorry”  
  
“don’t be” She went back in and they continued right where they left off. Lindsey wanted to start exploring to get more comfortable, so she slid her hand under Emily’s shirt and brushed her fingers against her back.

Both girls were so into to it, they didn’t hear the door open fast enough. In walked the three girls, with Mal and Sam gasping and Rose laughing. Emily pulled away and got off of Lindsey while she shot straight up,

“WHAT THE FUCK” Mal yelled

“Heyy guys…!” Emily said

“Oh you’ve got a lot of explaining to do” Rose said

“Um yea explain please” Sam said

“We thought y’all were gonna be gone for a while” Emily explained

“That doesn’t tell us why you guys are making out on the bed, don’t try and avoid this”

“Well you see we- we’re”

“We’re dating” Lindsey said

“Explain more please” Mal asked

“Well on Saturday we went on a date and one thing led to another…”

“ONE DATE AND YOU GUYS ARE ALREADY DATING??” Sam said

“Listen Sam it just happened. Either way it was gonna happy soon, I’m happy, she’s happy, why hold back”

“Um maybe because you’ve known each other for three months”

“I should go” Lindsey said

“No Linds”

“I’ll see you tomorrow” She kissed Emily’s cheek and walked out

“Seriously guys”

“Emily you’ve known her for three month and you’re already dating. You know nothing about her, her background, anything”

“So what, if I see something, I should go for it. We all know I’m not okay and I fake my happiness majority of the time. If she makes me feel better let me have it”

“She could hurt you then you’ll be even more sad”

“Yea and I could hurt her too, it’s just how relationships work”

“A few weeks ago you just found out she liked you. What in your mind has changed so much? Or is it just the fact that she likes you and you can break her heart again, so instead you’ll ‘date’ her, use her for sex and when you find someone you want to be with you’ll break up with her and move on” Sam told Emily

“Why are you guys like this can’t you just be happy for me?”

“We are, we’re so happy. But if you’re using her then, I don’t know. She doesn’t deserve it, cares a lot about you” Mal added

“Rose tell them”

“I don’t want to get involved. If I leaned anything it’s to let you be you-“

“Thank you”

“But what if she breaks Lindsey’s heart we’ll all be fucked because we know Emily-“

“Wait are you saying I’m gonna break her heart, you don’t even know what I’m feeling”

“Listen we just want Lindsey to have her best experience here and if she doesn’t then we all failed her”

“I can give to her, being her girlfriend doesn’t change that”

“but being the girl who broke her heart can”

“You guys seriously don’t even believe me do you”

“Everyone just stop please” Rose said, “Son we’re more than happy for you. We’re just saying that maybe this all happened too fast and now it might not be as successful as if you guys we’re to have started months into the future”

“We just think it was a risk”

“Linds and I thought the same, but it’s what we both wanted. I’m not planning on breaking her heart. We also promised to take it slow, we’re making sure this last”

“Okay, now is everyone good?” Rose asked

“Yea” they all said

“Good now get out and get sleep”

Emily texted Lindsey later that night

Em- _sorry abt tonight, I talked to them, hope to see u soon_

She didn’t get a text back that night

~~

It was the following day when Lindsey woke up on the floor. “ _Fuck what happened”_ she looked around and saw Sarah dead asleep across from her and cans of beer in front of them. She reached over for her phone and saw texts from her parents and Emily. She remembered last night and chose to answer her parents first

Mom- _hi sweetie, me and your father will be there soon! Just getting on the plane!_

“SHIT” Lindsey said out loud which then woke up Sarah

“What the fuck happened”

“I don’t know, I think we got drunk”

“Oh yea, you friends got in a fight because of something”

“Yea, fuck. We have to clean up any parents coming and I totally forgot”

“What was last night about?”

“You’ll find out soon, I just can’t explain now I have to do something” She walked out of the room and opened Emily’s contact

“ _Hello”_ Emily said in a deep voice

_“Hey so um, as much as I want to talk about what happened last night we have a bigger problem..”_

_“What?”_

_“My parents are coming and I totally forgot. So um..that means that we, you know can’t”_

_“Oh yea right”_

_“Em”_

“ _It’s fine, you did the same for my mom_ ”

“ _You sur-“_

_“It’s fine, Linds I promise. Hopefully see you later?”_

“ _Of course you will, I’m sorry about this. We can talk about it all soon in private, yea?”_

“ _When do they get here?”_

_“In a few hours”_

_“We could talk now”_

_“I have to clean”_

_“You live in a dorm it will take you five minute to clean”_

_“Yea well um last night we made a bit of a mess”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Got a bit drunk so have that mess to clean”_

_“Why did you get drunk? because of Mal and Sam?”_

_“Yea I was stressed, I’m fine now. If I have time to talk we will”_

“ _Okay, just be careful with it”_

_“I know. Come over tonight, I’ll be alone”_

“ _Well shit you should have said that, we can talk then”_

_“No, I won’t want to do much talking, just trust me”_

_“Linds-“_

_“Listen I have to go, bye”_

_“By-“_

Lindsey turned back around and went inside her dorm room. Sarah was still laying on the floor.

“Dude get up”

“I don’t want to”

“I have to clean, then possible talk to Emily about something I don’t feel like talking about, and then go to class later, and then deal with my mentally destructive parents. I don’t feel like getting up either but here we are”

“You’re no fair” she got up

About twenty minutes later their dorm room was spotless and organized from corner to corner.

“Hey I won’t be home tonight”

“Yea I know”

“Just don’t invite Em over”

“What do mean?”

“I remember last night about the reason behind us getting drunk. If you don’t want to talk about it don’t. Just don’t invite her here”

“She’ll show up either way. We’re gonna talk about it either way, so yea”

“Good luck”

“Thanks”

She got another text

Em- _did u clean ur mansion yet?_

Lindsey really wasn’t in the mood to talk about it so she weighted her options. Talk to Emily now, realize it’s best to be friends. Don’t talk and pretend everything is happy go lucky until her parents leave. She picked the latte,

Linds- _no :( I won’t b done b4 class sry_

Em- _ok see u tonight_

Lindsey felt so shitty for lying but she couldn’t talk now. She sat around until class, when she was walking there, she run into Rose.

“Linds”

“Hey”

“Have y’all talked yet?”

“Yea this morning but not about last night. My parents are coming.”

“Oh, good luck with that”

“Thanks, see you at practice”

“Yea”

She sat through her class and got a text from her dad confirming they are there. She sent back that they’ll meet up for dinner after practice.

It was Thursday so that meant tomorrow was game day. It was a pretty light day at practice, doing more technical work than running and sprinting. Lindsey tried to stay in her own bubble but there was Emily who was all up in her space, at the end Emily walked up to her again

“Hey what’s up with you? You didn’t want to talk this morning and now you’re ignoring us”

“Just stressed about my parents is all. I have this need to prove to them that coming here over Stanford was a good choice”

“Oh, well I you want to talk we can, tonight”

“No talking tonight, please”

“Okay, you’re making it seem like-”

“No sex” she whispered

“Okay, that’s what I thought just making sure”

“See you tonight” she walked off to the locker room to freshen up before meeting her parents

She drove to the restaurant and met up with her parents. She saw them standing outside the restaurant and walked over to them

“Hi Linds” Her parents greeted her

“Hey guys” She hugged them

“So before we go in we have a surprise”

“Okay”

“Hello there” she turned around and saw her grandma there

“Oh my god” she hugged her

“Hi my darling”

“I missed you”

“I missed you too”

They all made their way inside and sat down at he table, a few minutes in Lindsey’s mom started grilling her already,

“So Linds any boys?”

“Nope” she said popping the ‘p’

“None at all? Well that doesn’t surprise me seeing how you’re dressed in sweats and athletic clothes 24/7”

“Mom, have you every thought if someone doesn’t like me because of what I wear maybe they aren’t meant for me?”

“Me and your father met when I dressed my best”

“That was years ago, times have changed”

“Just promise you’ll tell us when you settle down with someone nice”

“I will” she said desperately wanting to end the conversation, “how’s are you grandma” turning to her grandma who was sitting next to her

“I’m good excited to see you play tomorrow”

“Hopefully!”

“What do you mean hopefully?” Her dad asked

“Well there are a lot of great midfielders and I just started so I don’t get to start every game.”

“Oh well lets hope” Her grandma grabbed her hand, she felt her phone buzz in the back of her pocket

Em- _hey cutie, ik ur at dinner but I hope it’s going okay, txt when ur back_

She smiled at her phone,

“Who’s that you’re texting” her mom asked

“Just a girl from my team reminding me of something I did during practice”

Linds- _it sucks, but they surprised me w my grandma so im happier than if it was just them, I’ll let u know when I’m back_

They finished their meal and Lindsey was mentally tired from all the conversations. She was walking behind her parents with her grandma.

“I saw the text. Who is she?” Lindsey smiled

“Her name is Emily, she’s my girlfriend”

_“_ Did you guys meet this year?”

“Yea it happened pretty fast but we’re good, I’m going to see her now. Hopefully I can introduce you guys tomorrow?”

_“_ Of course I’d love to meet her, don’t worry your parents will never know. They’re as blind as bats and as for everything said tonight don’t listen to them. Dress how every you want, you’re an adult you can make you’re own choices” Lindsey was seconds from crying

“Thank you grandma, I could really use you out here”

“You’ll be just fine her. I know it”

They said byes and Lindsey headed back to the dorms. She texted Emily once she got back and about five minutes later Emily walked through the door.

“Hey there” Lindsey got up from her bed and sat on the edge

“Hi”

“My guess is it wasn’t good?”

“Never is, but I have you here now so it’s better I guess”

“They surprised you with your grandma?”

_“_ Yea, it was nice to see her. She knows about us and want to meet you tomorrow”

“Ah fun”

“Come here” she pulled Emily in by the waist and kissed her softly, “I missed you”

“I missed you too” Emily leaned back in and kissed a little more aggressively

Lindsey pulled back “Only if my parents knew I was kissing a girl right now and not a boy” she then pulled Emily down in the bed

It started out innocent, until Lindsey bit down on Emily’s bottom lip which caused Emily to open her mouth. After what felt like hours, Emily traveled down to Lindsey’s neck and started sucking lightly

“You can’t leave anything” Emily hummed into her neck and made her was back up

“Once they leave I’m marking you up” Lindsey giggled into their kiss

“I never said anything about me doing it to you” she whispered against Emily’s lips.

She started her journey down her neck and tried to go as far down as possible. She started sucking and nipping lightly on the area. She heard what sounded like a groan come from Emily which caused her go start going a bit more aggressively. She pulled away satisfied with her mark and made her way back up to her lips

“Good now you’re mine”

“Marking your territory never saw that one coming Linds”

They made out for a bit longer before pulling away and deciding to watch Netflix for the rest of the night. At was around 11 when Emily got up. Lindsey grumbled at the cold air hitting her arm, where Emily was once laying.

“Have to go, it’s getting late and we have a game tomorrow”

“You could just sleep here”

“I wish but we’re not there yet”

“Did you forget our first date?”

“Yea but there was only one bed, here there are many” She kissed Lindsey, “bye cutie”

“Bye”

They next morning Lindsey woke up not wanting to face it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmk if u have any ideas for future chapters!


	9. 'Cause now there ain't no letting you go’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lindsey's parents interrupt some potential quality softness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this bc i was feeling sad lmao, it's not sad but now the next one most likely will be. got to mix it up yk

Lindsey had a class in the morning before the game tonight. As she walked out Emily was standing outside with a coffee in her hand. 

“How did you find me?”

“I have my ways, here” she handed her the coffee

“Thanks” they started walking back to the dorms “I really don’t want to see my parents again, I'm already tired of them”

“Hey, it will be okay. This is the last day you see them for a while, right?”

“No their staying the weekend, they want to see me in college life action”

“So no party tonight or tomorrow” 

“No, no party”

“Damn”

“I see you did a good job on covering it” She said referring to Emily wearing a hoodie with the hood up

“Yea, I was to lazy to actually cover it, technically I don’t have to because they’ll never know you gave it to me”

“True, you better hope they don’t ask about your boyfriend and how serious you guys are”

“I think me and my boyfriend are pretty cool”

“Pretty cool?”

“Yea, pretty and cool”

“Mmm well your boyfriend sounds nice, what does he look like I’ve never met him”

“You’ll never guess what they look like”

“What?”

“Tall, blonde, cute dimples, pretty eyes, I mean damn those eyes can take a person out”

“Oh yea?” She stoped Emily outside of the door to the lobby

“Yea” She leaned in and kissed Lindsey softly, then Lindsey’s phone buzzed

“Who is it?”

“My parents they want to get breakfast” They started walking upstairs

“No, you’re mine. We always get breakfast together on game days”

“We’ve had like two game days, is it a tradition now?”

“Yes”

“Okay let me tell them I’m too busy getting breakfast with my girlfriend” She emphasized 'girlfriend'

“Well you don’t have to say that exactly. Just tell them you normally get breakfast with the team”

“Okay, will that make you happy?”

“Very”

Lindsey told her parents and they understood. Emily and Lindsey went down to get breakfast, they made their way to the table that the other three girls were occupying. 

“Hey lovers” Rose said

“Really Rose” Emily said

“How are your parents Lindsey?” Mal asked her

“Fine, they haven’t changed much since the last time I saw them. Speaking of them, any of you want to keep me busy so I don’t have to see them until tonight?”

“Sure, let’s go out on a drive, tell them that you’re ’studying’ with me” Sam said

“Thanks Sammy you’re a lifesaver”

“I want to come”

“Sorry Rose it’s only for the blondes” Sam told Rose giving her a apologetic look

“Fuck you Sam. You’re letting Emily go but not me” Rose said giving her the sad puppy eyes

“I can’t go. I have to do something”

“Like what” Lindsey asked Emily 

“I have a presentation that I need to finish”

“Which is?” Mal asked

“Gosh y’all are snoopy today, it’s for Sociology”

“Hm have fun” Lindsey said

“I will, speaking of which I need to go, so I can spend time with my girl tonight. Bye guys” She kissed Lindsey on the cheek

“Okay who else thought that was suspicious, when does Emily pick homework over hanging with friends” Rose said

“Who knows maybe Lindsey changed her”

“Me? No she was definitely weird. I don’t think anyone could get her to voluntarily do her work” 

“Let’s just not worry too much I’m sure she’s fine” And she was. She was planning a whole date night for Lindsey, that consisted of a lot of planning. She needed Lindsey’s room to be empty, so she had to go there and convince Sarah to leave

She made it to the door and knocked

“Oh, uh Lindsey isn’t here”

“Yea I know I was just at breakfast with her, I actually had a question for you”

“It is?”

“I need you to leave the room for the night” 

“Why, exactly?”

“I want to have a date night with Lindsey but I know I can’t convince Rose to leave, so I came here in hopes I can convince you” 

“What do I get out of it?”

“To make Lindsey happy, and I’ll give you…tickets to the game tonight”

“What makes you think I want tickets to the game”

“Lindsey’s parents will be there and I know you, know about them”

“I don’t know much, but enough to hate them”

“I’ll add in alcohol when I turn 21”

“Deal” 

“So um..will you help me set up, or is that another whole deal to make?”

“I’ll help. What were you thinking and how much time do we have?”

“Um, she’s out with Sam and maybe Rose but she for sure will be back just before the game. Sam knows and her job is to keep Lindsey out of the room as long as possible”

“Okay let’s go to the store you need to step your game up a bit”

“Gosh I find it weird that I get bossed around by a freshie and a sophomore..also what do you mean step my game up” 

“We use to hook up remember? Actually probably not you were wasted..every time” She walked out the door and Emily followed behind her

“Yes I remember but well why did you let me do it wasted, you should have punched me or something now I feel like I took advantage of you”

“You didn't and because you were irresistible. I understand why Lindsey fell for you so hard and fast. I did the same”

“Was I seriously wasted the whole time?”

“No there were a couple times when you were sober, which led me to fall more”

“You really liked me like that?”

“You’re so oblivious I swear” Sarah opened the car door, “get in”

“I can only get in if you can confirm you’re 100% over me”

“Emily, I am 110% over you. You have a great girlfriend who is my friend. Even if I did I would never try and mess you guys up”

“I’m sorry” she said as she got in the car

“For..?”

“Not realizing you had a crush on me. I’m sure it didn’t feel good when I ignored you after”

“No it didn’t but I’m over it, also we can never mention we’ve talked my friends would kill me and you”

“Okay sounds good”

Both girls spilt up and did their own things. Lindsey made it back to the dorm room and gathered some stuff before leaving and passing Sarah on her way back down.

“Hey, where were you?”

“I went to the store. Going to hang with some people tonight so you have the room to yourself again”

“Oh cool, see you tomorrow?”

“I’ll see you later my friends want to go to the game”

“Dope, see you then”

“Oh yea I saw your girl waiting for you out there, you better hurry”

“Shut up” she turned around and walked down stairs

“Hey beautiful”

“Hi, guess what..” She waked to Emily and wrapped her arms around her

“Hm?”

“I have my room to myself again..wanna come?”

“Yes to both meanings”

“I hate you” Lindsey let go and started walking away

“I’m joking, of course I’d love to come over” she kissed her cheek

“Ugh I’m so tired of you kissing there, just do it before we can’t anymore”

“Okay bossy” She kissed Lindsey lips, “let’s go win yea?”

“Mhm” 

They walked into the locker room together, with all the other girls looking at them. It was normal, Lindsey and Emily arrived together everyday, people were suspicious but thought nothing of it. It was all going well until a senior called Emily out

“YO SONNETT IS THAT A HICKEY” she yelled from across the room

“Bro shut up, the whole locker room doesn’t need to know”

“My bad, you just sucked at covering it”

“Thanks” 

“You did suck at it” Lindsey told her

“You legitimately sucked it” Emily whispered

“That just sounds gross” Lindsey said with a scrunched up nose

“I mean the concealer was bound to come off during the game” she leaned in and whispered “so either way your parents would see” 

“Shut up”

They all changed and went out for warm-up. Of course Lindsey’s parents were there early. Getting water Emily walked over to her and slid her hand on Lindsey’s lower back

“I see you cheer squad got here early” Lindsey walked out of the touch

“How would you know, you’ve never met them or even seen them”

“The Horan sign gave it away”

“Oh no-“ she turned towards her parents and saw them with a “Lindsay Horan #10” sign. 

“It’s cute” Emily smiled 

“Don’t”

“Sorry” their coach called them back from the break

Once the game got under way Lindsey’s parents sat back not paying much attention because she didn’t start. Lindsey paid full attention to not only one number but the midfield in hopes she’s get subbed in.

The 76th minute rolled around and Lindsey got subbed in for Rose who was having hamstring issues and was having trouble continuing. Her parents cheered, but she blocked them out, in full game mode. They were losing 2-0 and Lindsey was determined to get a goal, to put them on the sheet. The final whistle blew and they lost with the final score being 3-0.

“Shit” she whisper catching her breath, little did she know Emily was saying the same only ten times more disappointed.

After giving high-fives to the other team Lindsey took a seat in the grass, drinking water. She looked around for Emily and saw her talking with Sarah, Lindsey had never seen them interact so she made her way over there

“Hey Linds I’m sorry about tonight” Sarah said 

“It’s fine, everyone loses once. What were you guys talking about?”

“I was asking if she’s seen you I lost you in the crowd”

“Funny, I was sitting in the grass”

“Linds, honey” She heard her mom’s voice and gave Emily a look

“Hi mom” she said turning around

“That sucked didn’t it“

“Yea, I’m surprised you didn’t leave after the second goal was scored against us” 

“Oh dear I wouldn’t do that, you weren’t even playing so you can’t take credit”

“What do you mean? I take credit this is my team”

“We’ll talk later at dinner”

“Dinner?”

“Yea, of course. You couldn’t have breakfast to Lunch, so dinner”

“I have plans”

“We’re your parents, you’ll be going to dinner” her dad chipped in

“You going to introduce us darling?” Her grandma asked

“Oh right um, standing next to you is my roommate, Sarah.”

“Hi” Sarah said in a monotone voice

“Hi dear…and you are?” She asked Emily

“Emily, my..best friend” She gave Emily an apologetic look

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you” She said 

“Oh Emily, Lindsey told me about you last night” Her grandma winked, hinting she knew. Which made Emily smile

“Oh my did you burn yourself?” her mom asked

Lindsey choked on her silva, “Um yeah something like that. It just showed up, yesterday so yea most likely burned it” Emily answered 

“Oh no, well let’s get going Lindsey” 

“Mom, I told you I have plans” 

“Dea-“

“Linds we can do it another night, go have dinner”

“Yo Sonny you coming?” Rose, Mal and Sam stood from a distance

“Wait, come here I might be a minute” They stared walking

“Everyone, my other friends, Rose, Mal and Sam”

“Nice to meet you” Sam said while the others said nothing, “Lindsey you coming?” She asked

“No she’s going to dinner, I told her we can do it another night, that also goes for you guys” Emily told the rest of the girls

“What are you even-“ Mal tried to ask

“Hey why don’t we go get ice cream, come on Rose I’ll carry you since you’re walking like a snail” Sam interrupted her

“Weird...but okay, text me when you get back to our room we need to talk” Rose said

"Okay bye Rosie" Emily said, and the three walked off

“Well Emily it looks like they’re leaving, why don’t you come to dinner with us?”

“Uh I-”

“Oh come on it’s the weekend” her dad said

“Dad don’t pressure her”

“Um- I mean…sure” Lindsey wanted to just drive out of the state then

“We’ll meet you girls by the car in ten” the two girls started walking with Lindsey gaining distance between the two. Just as they entered the locker room Emily stoped her

“What was I suppose to do”

“Say no!” she said in a panic voice, “now I have to go to dinner with my parents AND girlfriend”

“I couldn’t say no, I wasn’t raised like that”

“I know..I just don’t think I can do it. You have to be mentally prepared to hear what they have to say”

“I lived with my mom for years, I think I’m too damaged to let anything effect me”

“Let’s hurry I want to cuddle later”

They walked out and got into the car for the ride to dinner. It was a casual restaurant and not many people inside of it, they sat down. Emily and Lindsey sitting next to each other on one side

“So Emily how are you enjoying college so far?”

“Uh well I’m a junior so I’ve hated it..until this year” Lindsey smiled

“Oh I didn’t know you were a junior. Well what makes this year better than the rest”

“You don’t have to answer that” Lindsey whispered 

“Shh, just listen” Emily whispered back, “I met someone”

“Oh cool, is he nice?” She said fuck it, she didn’t care if Lindsey’s parents hated her

“Actually, she. I’m gay, and yea she’s great”

“Tell us about her” Lindsey grandma asked

“Uh” she was thinking of ways to describe Lindsey without actually describing her, “she’s caring, always makes sure I’m okay. She loves to boss me around. She is very pretty, one of a kind. And I fell so hard, but we’re not public. Only our close friends know and now you guys. She’s not out to her parents yet, but neither am I so it’s our little secret” She squeezed Lindsey’s thigh under the table causing her to blush and move out of the booth, in a hurry. 

“Excuse me, I need to go to the bathroom, potty person?” She looked at Emily

“Potty person?” Her mom asked

“Buddy system is always in use mom”

They walked to the bathroom and Lindsey locked them in the big stall

“Is there a problem?” 

“Yes, you just described me to my parents”

“I was talking just personality trust me they don’t know it’s you. Your grandma obviously does, Ms. Talk about you all the time”

“She wasn’t suppose to say that”

“I liked it”

“Okay let’s go back, they'll get suspicious” she reached for the door but Emily pulled her back and kissed her

“Let the stress out, relax you got this”

“Did you have to add bosy?”

“I speak the truth” They walked back to the table

"It was the girl you were talking to before we left, Ro-" 

"ROSE, oh no, no, no. Rose and I are best friends, she's my rock. Ew Linds imagine me dating Rose" 

"Stop being mean to Rose she's nice" Lindsey said 

They got through dinner with little talk about boys or school which was good, they asked about her family, but Lindsey was quick to shut it down and move topic’s. They drove back to the school and let Emily and Lindsey go

“Come on to your room” Emily marched holding Lindsey’s wrist. 

They made it to the room but before opening the door, Emily whispered,

“Sorry for lying”

“Huh” she said as she walked in, she looked at the room and saw a fort built on the floor with drinks and snacks

“I told you I was doing my project but I was actually doing this”

“Em, how?”

“Sarah, she set it up before coming to the game”

“I love it” She turned around and kissed Emily softly

“You’re parents kinda ruined our date night”

“Of course because I can’t not go to dinner” she said mimicking her dad, “let’s lay down please”

They laid down on the air mattress that Emily bought for way too much money. They turned on a movie that slowly became background noise, with both being too busy with each other. Emily hovering over Lindsey, she slowed down her kissing and pulled away. Lindsey pulled her hands out of Emily's shirt

“I can’t continue can I..” Lindsey opened her eyes and pulled her back in for another kiss, putting her hands back where they were.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i was gonna continue but decided to leave it here. writing more now, might be up before the next chapter of Ready For It, idkk


	10. ‘Center of attention’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lindsey's last day with her parents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry..I wrote this chapter a while ago but I deleted it due to my mind not liking where the story was going. If you read my other fic you know there's angst and my soran heart just can't take anymore so this fic is going to be very soft. sorry it's short i just felt bad for not posting..full explanation below...

“Em-“ Emily pulled back,

“Yea?” She said out of breath

“I know that I- you know kissed you but, I don’t think-“

“It’s okay, you don’t need to explain” Emily rolled off her, and Lindsey grabbed her hand

“I’m sorry”

“Lindsey I promise it’s fine” she curled up into Lindsey’s side

“Tomorrow will you come with me?”

“Linds it’s your family you need to spend time with them”

“I just…you make it better, you know”

“I’ll be here after” she kissed her jaw, Lindsey looked down at her, “what?” Emily asked

“…you’re perfect”

“How do you know? I’m your first girlfriend”

“Because you treat me like I’m everything. You want me to be happy and you come and support me through everything”

Emily smiled at her, “I will do it forever, no matter what we are”

They fell asleep that night wrapped in each others arms. When Emily woke up the next morning she grabbed her phone.

Rose- _so how was it_

Em- _we just slept mom don’t worry, tell you more later_

She felt a shift next to her. She saw that Lindsey had rolled over and was now facing her. Emily kissed her forehead causing Lindsey to wake up,

“Good morning sunshine”

“No” Lindsey grumbled

“Why not?”

“Sleep in”

“It’s 10 and I have to go back to my room” Lindsey lifted her head and looked at Emily

“You don’t have to”

“Yes I do and you have a day with your parents”

“I hate you”

“No you don’t, bye I’ll come by tonight” she pecked her cheek before sliding her shoes on and walk out the door with all her belongings

Lindsey parents picked her up around 30 minutes later and they went out to explore some of Virginia. On the way home Lindsey needed to see where she stood with them,

“Mom, dad I have a question?”

“Yea sweetheart?” Her dad responded

“I wanted to know where you stand with gay people?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like…do you support them?”

“Of course why wouldn’t we?” Her mom answered

“Do you like Emily?”

“Why wouldn’t we, she’s wonderful and obviously has you under control”

“What do you mean by under control?”

“She seems like she knows you very well, in more ways than a friend would”

“Oh…so um”

“Yes Lindsey we know. We always have, we may have seem oblivious but we always knew”

“Why didn’t you every say anything?”

“We wanted you to do it on your own, not pressure you in anyway”

“You would have made this a lot easier if you just asked” Lindsey added

“We’re happy, you seem happy”

“I am…very” she smiled thinking of her girlfriend back at the dorms awaiting her arrival

~~

While Lindsey was out with her parents, Emily went back to her dorm and jumped on top of Rose

“Get off me” she shoved her off

“I just missed you, roomie” She said in a high pitched voice

“No you didn’t, so what happened?”

“I told you we slept that was it”

“No sex?” Emily shook her head, “seriously none?”

“Nope, zero”

“Wow Son I thought you would have made big moves”

“I tired but she wasn’t ready so I had to respect that”

“When do you think she’ll be ready?”

“I have no idea, but I hope soon. Rose, I am sexually frustrated”

“Please don’t tell me more”

“She just touches me and turns me on and then pulls away and we stop”

“And you told me more..listen I would love to hear more but I have to, uh go do homework in the library”

“Just do it here”

“Can’t” she grabbed her books

“Why not?”

“Because you’re here” she walked out of the door

“Well be that way” she called up Sam and Mal to see if they wanted to hang out. Five minute later there was a knock and the three of them walked to the coffee shop down the street.

~~

Lindsey got back to the dorms after saying her byes to her parents who leave early the next morning. As she was walking to her room she saw Rose,

“Hey”

“Hi Linds”

“Do you know where Emily is?”

“Uh no, why don’t you know?”

“I was out with my parents”

“Oh, so how was last night?”

“It was good, Emily had this ‘date night’ thing planned in my room and she told me she owns Sarah so I better thank her”

“Did you..you know” She raised her eyebrows

“Oh no, we didn’t-“

“Why not?”

“I’m just not there yet” Lindsey sat down at the closest bench

“Is their a real reason or are you just not ready” Rose sat next to her

“A mix I think. I want to, but it’s early. We’ve been together for like a month. That’s nothing Rose, we’ve known each other for four months. We started dating and now sex. That’s the fast fucking relationship known to man”

“I was but you guys did it because you felt something yea?”

“Yea but five months and we’re here”

“Maybe you just know you’re soulmate when you meet them”

“You think she’s my soulmate?”

“Only you can confirm it”

“I want to Rose. Just what if I’m not good, she’s had sex with so many people, while I’ve had it with none…I broke up with my ‘boyfriend’ because I didn’t want to loose it to him…a boy”

Rose laughed, “I’m sorry, that poor kid”

‘I haven’t talked to him in years I know”

“Lindsey I’m sure you’ll be great. Yea she’s had a lot of sex but those were all just relief almost”

“I’m not?”

“No, I know her. You mean way more than that”

Lindsey sighed“..okay thanks Rose”

“Anytime, did you check our dorm?”

“No that’s where I was going now” They both got up and walked to the room

“Hey Rose, I’m still confused why you couldn’t do you’re work in here” Lindsey walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her

“Because you are very distracting” she kissed her cheek

“Wow Rose you’re getting a little close there” Rose threw a pillow at her, “Hi baby”

“Ew you guys use pet names” Rose fake gaged

“I like it, you should say it more” Emily kissed her

“How was your time with your parents?”

“Good actually..I uh- told them about us. About me”

“And..”

“They said they always knew and that they were waiting for me to confirm it”

“I’m happy for Linds” she kissed her again, “so they know that whole best friend thing was a lie”

“Oh yea for sure”

“You realized I called you bossy and all those things”

“They were positive and not sexual so it’s okay” she smiled and kissed Emily

“Okay if you guys are going to start making out I will throw up on both of you”

“Rose you love us don’t lie”

“I do, I love both of you guys. But seeing my two friends make out, I’ll pass. I like the innocent side of the relationship though.”

“Rosie, just admit you’re obsessed with our relationship”

“I wouldn’t day obsessed but yes I am cheering for you guys”

“Yay, my day is so good!” Lindsey said hugging Emily

“I’m glad, really”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had a really crappy week. We thought my dog was dying (she's fine), I have an essay to write and I had like three test and another one. I know excuses but I'm mentally drained. I haven't worked out in like two weeks and that's not normal for me. sorry if i start lagging on updates..I'm trying. My goal is to update each story every weekend, let's see how it goes.


	11. ‘Whenever you want it, baby’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conflict end in fun times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I would be back. Don't know when I'll post next..I hope it's soon. I'm writing the next chapter now so I hope to update soon.
> 
> Also some smut and it sucks so you can skip ;)

At the end of the 3rd mile Lindsey was ready to drop dead in the middle of the track, the heat didn’t help. They had 3 more to complete, so she had to push through. Mal was at the same pace as Lindsey so they were running together.

“How are you two?” She breathed out

“Me and Em?..Uh good”

Mal looked over at her, “It’s been three months”

“Yea, it has” Lindsey got out

“Have you..you know..” She elbowed Lindsey in the arm

“No Mal we haven’t..you know” She said as other girls passed them 

“Well are you?” She pushed 

“Can we talk about this later, privately maybe?” 

“Fine, just wanted to know”

They continued their run, now on the fifth lap. She felt someone trailing her, closely behind. She turned around and saw Emily jogging with her head looking down at the dirt.

“How does the dirt look” Emily looked up and smiled 

“Not as good as you ass” She said, Lindsey rolled her eyes and turned back around to continue jogging

“Now I see why you were looking at the floor”

“Mhm” she heard from behind her

The finished their run, all tired and out of breath. Lindsey sat in the grass with a water bottle, as Emily stood from a distance starring at her. Lindsey glowed in the sunlight, no matter how sweaty and tired she looked she somehow was as beautiful as always.

It caused butterflies to attack her stomach, “Fuck” Emily said under her breath looking away

“What was that Sonny?” Sam asked

“Nothing”

“Are you coming with us to Target?” 

“Why are you going?” Emily questioned, confused 

“To buy snacks, and for fun because who doesn’t want to go there just because..”

She turned around again and saw Lindsey starring at her, “Uh..sure, yea I guess” She smiled, “I’ll be right back guys”

She walked over and Lindsey looked up at her, squinting her eyes due to the suns glare, “I can’t see you” Lindsey informed her

“Don’t need to, what are you doing tonight?”

Now covering her eyes Lindsey responded “Same thing you are” 

“Oh..” Emily knelt down raising her eyebrows

“We’re watching a movie with the girls…do you not remember?” She grinned

“That explains the Target trip” 

“Yes, it would” Emily saw a girl from the team, June, coming over to them

“Hey Lindsey,” she approached shyly, “I was wondering if you had anything going on tonight. I was going to go out…and wanted to know if you wanted to come with?”

“I, um, I’m actually busy tonight but maybe we can do it tomorrow?”

“Cool, yea, that’s- let’s do it” She said 

“See you tomorrow, then” Lindsey smiled

“Yea..yea” June walked away more nervous than before but Lindsey didn’t catch that part, whipping her head back to Emily.

“Fuck you” Emily laughed out

“What” Lindsey smiled 

She rolled her eyes, playfully, and started walking away. Lindsey got up and started walking behind her. She wrapped her arm around Emily’s shoulder, Emily threw her arm off of her.

“What is wrong with you” Lindsey asked her 

“Your arm is sweaty”

“And the back of your neck is equally as sweaty, but I still put my arm there”

“Lindsey..” She paused, “I can tell you for a fact if I wasn’t there- She was asking you on a date”

“What do you even mean..how do you know she likes girls” They kept on walking, and Emily looked at the ground, “Did you- seriously?”

“She came on me, I was horny. It happened, last year, but was a one time thing” She explained 

They continued the walk to the locker room, “Did you sleep with every girl here?”

“No she is the only one from the team”

“What about me” Lindsey raised her eyebrows

“Haven’t gotten to you..yet” She grinned

“Hmm I see…but what if she just wanted to be friends” Lindsey continued the argument

“No”

Lindsey stoped her, “Let me go with her, and if you were right. I’ll take you on a date, and if I win..we also go on date”

“So either way were going on a date” Emily looked at her

Lindsey smiled “…yes” 

As they got close to the room June came up again and tapped Lindsey on the shoulder. She turned around,

“Hey”

“Is it cool if we go to the movies and maybe we can go somewhere else after..like the beach” Emily slapped Lindsey’s arm, she felt bad but she didn’t want to hurt June’s feelings

“You know I forgot, me and my girlfriend are suppose to go out on a date tomorrow”

June’s eyes widened, “Oh no. No it’s cool you have fun with her”

“We can hang out on Monday maybe get coffee?”

“Uh, I’m busy actually on Monday. We could do it a different time maybe, I don’t know” Emily turned around and started walking into the locker room

“Oh, well text me if you’re free”

“yea…yea” Lindsey opened the door and walked in

Leaned up against the wall, Emily was on her phone checking out some instagram post. Lindsey turned the corner and saw Emily standing there, she walked past her and Emily noticed so she started following. 

“A little rude to walk past me like that” she commented 

“I just don’t want to admit you’re right” Lindsey said

“Hmm..it’s okay you don’t have too”

Lindsey turned around, “Do I still get the date?” 

“You know I’ll have to think about it..but right now I have to go to Target to get snacks for a movie I forgot about. Also I don’t know why we need any more snacks, because I’ll be in the room” she said walking away

“Please never say that again” Emily laughed as she walked over to the parking lot

~~

Lindsey walked to Sam and Mal’s room freshly showered. As she entered the room all the girls were arguing,

“No Emily, you aren’t listening. The third movie is the best, if you seriously think it’s the forth you need to leave” Rose told her

Lindsey took one look in and turned around, “NO, babe come back. For my sake” Emily called after her

“I’m not sure I want to be apart of this” Lindsey responded

“No you don’t” Mal added

“What are you arguing about” she turned back around 

“Harry Potter” Rose said aggressively

“Come here” Emily grabbed Lindsey hand from where she was laying and pulled her down. Lindsey sat on the edge of the bed

“I really don’t want to be here now” Lindsey said

“That’s fine, then Emily’s opinion doesn’t matter anymore and we can watch the third movie”

“I never said I was leaving” Emily said

“If Lindsey goes we all know you’re going to follow” Sam added and Rose laughed 

“Hey now, why would I miss out on Harry Potter”

“Because you’re horny” Mal said, Lindsey’s mouth dropped open and Emily sat up

Eyes widened, “Um, no. I’m not you’re all wrong” she told them

“Not even a little” Rose pushed

“No, Rose I am fine. Just fine”

“Em, can we talk?” Lindsey asked her

“Yea” as she walked out she flipped off the girls in the room

Lindsey closed the door and faced Emily, “are you?”

“Am I…?”

“Emily…”

“Sorry, I- I’m no- Not- I don’t know, maybe a little. But I’m fine Lindsey, I can wait for you. Serious-”

“I’m ready” Emily eyes opening more than the first time

“You’re- you- Us-“ Lindsey smashed her lips into Emily’s. A gasp came out of Emily, she immediately responded and bit down on Lindsey bottom lip. Lindsey pulled away and looked into her eyes.

“Let me go tell them we changed our mind” Emily said kissing her again, “I’ll be back” she walked back in and told them

“Have fun being fucked” Rose said

“Have fun finding somewhere to sleep” Emily added with a grin

“Shit, hey guys can I stay here?” Emily closed the door and grabbed Lindsey’s hand taking her to her own room

“You gonna show me how to do this correctly” she whispered into Emily’s ear 

Shivers went down her spine, “Trust me anything you do will make me feel good” Lindsey hummed in her ear

They made it to the room and Emily quickly unlocked the door and pulled Lindsey inside with her. She pushed Lindsey against the wall and aggressively attacked her lips, then placing her hand on her hips. Lindsey groaned into her mouth, which cause Emily to smile breaking the kiss a tiny amount. 

Lindsey backed her up walking her towards the bed. Before she could push her down, Emily turned them now giving herself the upper hand and control. Emily laid her down softly and kissed down her neck. She stopped right at the base of her neck, sucking and bitting. Lindsey let out a soft moan, which turned Emily on. 

She slipped her hand under Lindsey’s shirt and moved up. Lindsey pushed Emily off, sat up and took her shirt off in a swift motion. Emily sat back and watched her do it in awe. Seeing Lindsey in a normal bra made her feel a different way, she was breathless like no oxygen was present anymore. Lindsey laid herself back down which queued Emily to climb back on top of her. 

From the point Emily left the hickey she traveled down to her collarbone, then down to her breast. Lindsey gasped feeling her mouth there, Emily moved her hand to back of her bra. Working it off a few seconds later the bra was in the floor. A few minutes later the pants were off only leaving her laying there with her underwear on. 

Emily travels back up to her mouth and kiss her again, “you sure?” She mumbled against her lips 

Lindsey hummed and Emily lips traveled back down. She looped her finger on the side of her underwear and slipped them down. Lindsey felt a shiver go down her spine as Emily kissed up her thighs. She slid her finger threw the wetness pooling between Lindsey’s legs. She felt Lindsey’s hips buckle upwards, Emily’s put her hands on her hips lowering her and calming her down. 

A few moments of Emily teasing her, she worked in one finger adding the second a minute later. Emily could sense Lindsey was close feeling the grip on her hair tighten. Her mouth traveled back up her thigh and started working, to finish Lindsey off who let out a soft moan at the feeling. Her hips lifted off the bed and, once more, the moans grew louder, so Emily kept at the same pace. When Lindsey hit her peak she gripped Emily hair harder, Lindsey finally came down Emily made her way back up to her neck. 

“You okay” she smiled into her neck

“Holy..shit” Lindsey laughed

“Good yea?”

“Mhm” she said starring at the ceiling 

They laid there for a moment until Lindsey kissed the top of her head

“Too many clothes” she pulled at Emily’s shirt

“Hey, you don’t have to tonight” Emily said lifting her head, looking at Lindsey

“Want to” She kissed Emily, still tasting herself a bit

Tearing off Emily’s shirt and quickly taking her bra off with it, Lindsey worked fast. It was fine since Emily was already turned on from before. Lindsey slid off her short, leaving a hickey above her underwear line. Emily hips started moving trying to get some relief. Lindsey pressed finger against her underwear causing, yet another, moan to fall out. 

“Fuck, Lindsey” She moaned

Lindsey copied what Emily did in hopes she was doing it correct. She did because Emily let out a string of moans and curse words. Pulling back out and climbing back up she kissed Emily, who was breathless.

“You were right, holy shit” Emily said while Lindsey rolled off of her

“I normally am” Emily laughed at Lindsey’s comment

Emily looked over at her, “You better not be going on that date tomorrow”

“I’m not, but I would like for you to go on and tell me why I shouldn’t”

“We’re going on a date and then will be right back here in this bed soon after it” she kissed Lindsey again and laid back down on her chest

“Can I put on a shirt?” Emily lifted her head. 

Lindsey threw Emily one and her underwear, “incase Rose decides to come back” 

“I don’t think she’ll come back” Emily said slipping on her shirt

Lindsey looked back at her, “You never know, the fire alarm could go off. What are we going to do run downstairs naked?”

“That would be hot” Emily smirked at her

“No, it wouldn’t” Lindsey laughed, walked over to the bed and then fell into it right next to Emily. Emily currled into Lindsey’s side, resting her head on Lindsey’s chest once again

“Goodnight” Emily mumbled in her chest 

“Night” Lindsey kissed the top of her head

They both peacefully dozed off, until the fire alarm went off…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading hope you liked it, I'll take any comments or suggestions! Love you all!


	12. 'I've always been the one to say the first goodbye'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily and Lindsey spend their last day's in each others arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIII sorry, I wanted to update twice this weekend but I got distracted and then it was my mom's bday lol. read the end notes for hints to future chapters. Also I have an idea for another story so might make that hehe. okok here ya go...i didnt check for spelling so sorry if there are some

There they were standing outside their dorm in the cold. They were able to slip on some sweatpants before making their way down. Emily standing in Lindsey’s arms trying to stay warm. The three other girls walk up to them,

“Did the alarm interrupt your fun?” Rose asked

“No actually we were done thanks for asking” Emily smiled as Lindsey dug her head into her shoulder

“Please tell me you stayed on your side of the room”

“Actuall-“ she got cut off by the loud speaker

“ _All clear, false alarm. All clear, false alarm”_

_“_ And that’s out queue” Emily pulled Lindsey inside leaving Rose out there shocked

The next morning Lindsey woke up with Emily still in her arms. She admired her sleep, her mouth was slightly open, her hair was messed us, and small light breath sounds there. Lindsey kissed her jaw, making Emily stir. Her eyes opened a bit and then closed again,

“Good morning beautiful”

“Hi” her voice was groggy

“We should go meet the girls for breakfast” She whispered into her hair

“No, too soon. Don’t want to go”

“But we skipped over the movie, I think we own them breakfast” Lindsey sat up and sat on the edge of the bed

“No Rose will get mad since I left”

“Well you shouldn’t have told her we did it on her side of the room” She grabbed Emily’s hand and dragged her up

Emily sat up and gave Lindsey a mad look

“Listen tomorrow is our last game until break..you then have me for only two more day. That is four days in total, then I leave to go back to Colorado for a few days. Let’s spend today with them and the me and you until I leave” Lindsey told her

“Fine”

“We still have date night tonight” Lindsey added

“Yeah” She walked over and kissed Emily

“Last night was good” Emily smiled into the kiss

“It really was, let’s do it again soon yea?”

“Of course, we’ll do so much more” Lindsey smiled back at her and then took her back into the kiss

Pulling away she said “I lov-..like you, a lot” just barley catching herself before actually saying it

She knows she loves Lindsey because for the first time in a while she has been happy, all day everyday. She hasn’t had an episode since they started, and she’s just felt truly happy. She knows it’s Lindsey because that is the only thing that has changed drastically in the past months. Emily has recently been feeling very strong about wanting to tell Lindsey she loves her. The only thing holding her back is the fear of Lindsey not saying it back or feeling the same, which is stupid because she knows Lindsey is at the same point.

“I like you too Em” she said shyly, knowing what Emily was about to let slip, “we should get dressed”

They met up with the other girls at breakfast.

“So what did you girls do last night” Sam asked as if she was clueless

“Sam..”

“You guys ready to play today?”

“Yes Rose. Are you? How was sleeping on the floor?” Emily asked

“Very comfortable actually” she smiled back trying not to show that the pain was intense in her back

“Mhm sure”

“Yea says the one who took Advil the minute they woke up” Mal added, with Rose throwing a grape at her

“Lindsey?” Sam snapped her fingers in front of her face because she spaced out and wasn’t paying attention.

“Yea” she blinked back into reality

“You good there? Was last night too intense?” Rose smirked

“Rose seriously stop” Emily told her

“Last night was very wonderful, thanks for asking Rose. I was thinking about what I’m going to do when I go back to Colorado” they hummed to her anwser

“You better not go visit that ex boyfriend” Emily joked

“And what would you do about it?”

“I would have to make a trip up there and sort things out myself” she raised her eyebrows. Rose adding in a fake gagging noise

They finished eating and Lindsey and Emily had to part ways due to class. Emily and Sam had the same class that only occurred once a week in person.

“So Em…”

“Yea Sammy?” She turned her head

“This…thing…with you and Lindsey. I need to you to confirm this is an actual thing and not that now you got sex you’re going to break up with her”

Emily was a little taken back that Sam would think that of her.

“No Sam I wouldn’t do that to her ever. She…different. You aren’t in my mind so you have no idea the impact she has had on it. You know me before I would use meds when I could to make me feel better. Majority of the time I was with you guys it was just a fake smile. But with her, it’s real. She makes me feel good. Wanted. Needed. Like I’m the most important person. I’m happy, like actually happy, not fake meds happy. Like want to run in a field of sunflowers at sunset with her and kiss her like my life depended on it”

“That’s sweet son”

“…I love her” she whispered as they entered the room

Sam stopped in the doorway, “have you told her?”

“No, almost, but no”

“Okay why not?”

“Afraid she won’t say it back…she has commitment issues has for a while. I’m just afraid that I’m going to say it and all the happy will go away and I’ll be sucked back into the darkness.” She said sitting down

“I don’t think that will happen, but take your time. Know you really mean it and want to love her like she deserves to be loved”

“I will Sammy” Class started

~~

Later that night Emily showed up to Lindsey’s door and knocked softly

“Hey” she kissed her as soon as she opened the door

“Hi” Lindsey said biting her lip

“You ready?”

“Yea” Lindsey said by to Sarah and then took Emily’s hand and walked with her out to the car

She pulled on Emily’s hand, “Where are we going?”

“Mini-golfing”

Lindsey’s eyes widened, “Really?”

“No, we’re going to watch a movie” Said in a more serious voice than before

“Which one” she asked

“It just came out, it’s called, just kidding” Lindsey let go of her hand and stood still

Emily turned around, “Come on Em just tell me where” she walked back to her

“You’ll see, be patient” Emily wrapped her arms around Lindsey’s waist

“I’m not very good at that” she pouted

“Yes I know” she kissed her forehead and continued to walk to the car

Emily pulled over after driving for 20 minutes and picking up food along the way. It confused Lindsey because she was told to dress nice just to get fast food. Once they pulled off the road it confused her ten times more.

“Is everything okay?” Lindsey asked curiously

“No it’s time for you to go” Emily joked

“Why did you tell me to dress nice if we were just going to sit out here”

“I don’t know just felt like messing with you but know you’re beautiful in anything” she reached across and kissed her cheek

“This is quite the date you have going on Mr. Sonnett” she said as they climbed into the back of the car

“I know it was really hard to plan” She smirked as she passed Lindsey her food

They sat in the back of car looking out at the pitch black sky with speckles dotted all throughout it. They made small talk while eating, some about soccer, some about their family and how they think break will go. As they finished up, Lindsey lays the blanket on the floor and Emily joins her on the ground. They laid there and stared at the stars while holding hand, the picture perfect date.

“How did you manage to put in little effort and still make it the best date ever?” Lindsey whispered into the darkness

“I don’t know..”

“Are you okay?” She turned her head and Emily sat up

“I..” she paused and Lindsey rose up “I know you might not be ready to hear this but…I love you Lindsey and it’s fine if you can’t say it back but I need you to know I love you” Lindsey sat there and shock, with lead Emily to freeze

“Emily-“

“I just wanted you to know, because I can’t stop thinking about you. Every second of every day you sit in my head. Rent free you stay up there and I can’t get you out. If you don’t-“

“Stop” Lindsey covered her mouth “I do, I..love you too” she breathed out taking her hand off of Emily’s mouth, “I’ve never been in love before so I don’t know what it feels like, but what ever I feel when I’m with you is like a rush and I want more of it. If that’s what love is then I am definitely in it”

Emily smiled and it felt as if weights have been lifted off her shoulder now that she got this out. She leaned into Lindsey kissed her passionately, mire seconds later pulling away whispering, “let’s go back yea?”

“We can’t both our rooms are busy” She frowned. Emily looked back at the car and then back at Lindsey. “No” Emily dragged her back to the car laughing

30 minutes later they were laying in the back of the car breathless.

“I can’t believe I just let you do that” Lindsey whispered into her hair

“It was just as good, if not better” she smiled at Lindsey

“We should go back we have a game tomorrow” They got dressed and headed back to the campus. Kissing goodbye and going their separate ways.

~~ 

The following day was the soccer game. The two of them met up from breakfast with the other girls along, they did all the normal pregame things that they do every week. Lindsey found out she would be starting this game while Emily sat out with Rose. Both Sam and Mal started beside her.

The game started out strong Mal getting a goal within the first 10 minutes. Lindsey was being told things to do from Rose on the side line. She got a ball sent to her with an opening between the last two defenders. She was able to beat both rocketing the ball into the top corner of the goal.

Emily and Rose jumped off the bench with the other girls. Lindsey did a quick jog to the side lines hugging both girls, getting words of encouragement shouted at her. She was able to pick out Emily’s voice when she heard,

“That’s my girl”

Her smile grew as she made her way back to her position. Once half time rolled around she caught up to where Emily was standing there waiting for her. Emily slapped her butt as she keep walking

“That was great” she said

“Thanks” Lindsey got out as she chugged the water that was in her hand

The team was able to hold onto the lead finishing with a 2-0 win. Rose got to Lindsey before Emily could make her way,

“You did great Linds. Made me proud”

“Thanks Rosie”

“It was the sex huh?” She whispered and Lindsey punched her arm, “sorry last joke I promise”

~~

It was now Sunday, the day Emily and Lindsey parted ways for a week. There they stood at the airport saying their last goodbyes.

“You promise to call me every day” Lindsey asked as she got out of the car

“I promise” Emily said walking to the back

Emily now lifting the trunk, “And if you’re feeling down you promise to tell me so we can talk?”

“Yes ma’am” she pulled out the suitcase

Lindsey felt nervous leaving Emily. It would be the first time they’ve been apart since they first met. Emily’s happiness is an important thing to Lindsey and ever since Emily told Lindsey she was the reason for her happiness, the thought of leaving her has been scary. She didn’t want Emily to fall back down and she wouldn’t be there to pick her up, really no one would. Rose left the day before them.

Putting her hand on Emily’s that was located on the suitcase, “You swear”

“Lindsey I’ll be fine, but if I do feel bad I will make sure to call you” She hugged her

“I’m going to miss you” Lindsey whispered into her hair

“I’ll miss you more goof” She turned her head into Lindsey’s neck leaving a kiss there.

Raising her head to then give one final kiss before parting.

“I love you” Emily said pulling away

Lindsey’s hear soared, “I love you too” she smiled, backing out of the hug walking through the airport doors.

Lindsey sat on the plane waiting for it to finally take off. She got a text from her mom.

Mom- _We’re having dinner with the Keller family tonight, just wanted to let you know!_

“Great” she said under her breath.

Her ex-boyfriend’s family.

Their families were always really close. That’s why he was over so much. He had no idea that she never actually liked him and she only dated him for her parents sake. In the end she was fucked.

~~

The plane landed and she found her bag, while waiting for her dad she went through her text.

Em- _finally got home, already hate it :)_

_3:25 My mom won’t stop pressing me on getting a bf HELP_

_4:32 My sister got here, I’m saved_

_4:40 I miss you, I want to cuddle, come to Georgia_

_5:56 being dragged to dinner, wish me luck_

_7:32_ _dinner sucked as normal_

Lindsey smiled down at her phone, when she heard a honk that then caught her attention. Her dad waved from his seat. She put her bag in the back and climbed into the car.

“Hey kiddo” He said, “I missed you”

“Missed you too dad” she went back to her phone to respond to Emily

Linds- _Sorry baby sounds like it sucked. I wish I could be there to cuddle, miss you <3_

“Already on your phone and you just got home”

“Sorry I had to answer Emily”

“How is she?”

“Good, I think”

“You ready for dinner?”

“Sure” she smiled

When she arrived home she greeted her mom and brother. Soon after that they arrived at the Keller’s house. Lindsey anxiously walked inside.

“Hey guys” Mrs. Keller called out from the kitchen

All the family’s said their “hi’s” and hugged. Lindsey and her ex, Lucas, haven’t talked since the day they broke up. Saying hello wasn’t that fun. Her and Mike sat in the living room with Lucas while their parents talked in the kitchen

“So Lucas how’s life?” Mike asked

“Good, me and my girlfriend just got our own apartment. I know we’re young but we didn’t want to live with either of our parents anymore, don’t tell them” He smiled at the end

“Oh that…cool”

“What about you?” He asked Mike

“Same as the last years, working”

“Oh and Lindsey?” He looked at her

“I go to school in Virginia and play for them” she said

“I heard, your boyfriend must have been sad when you left” Lindsey was already over this, it was as if he wanted to prove he was a good boyfriend and she made a mistake, little does he know.

“Um..I don’t have a boyfriend”

“No, she actually-“ Lindsey covered Mikes mouth before another word came out

“Is single and good with it” she finished

“Oh was the break up hard for you too”

She didn’t know how to answer, “yea, sure”

They ate dinner, conversation flowing smoothly until college came up

“Lindsey I heard you’re playing for Virginia?” Mr. Keller asked

“Yes I am”

“How is it?”

“Good, really good there. I met some Juniors and they all became my really good friends on and off the field” she smiled

“Some of them too good” Mike joked with Lindsey kicking him

“What was that?”

“Nothing” she said

“Lindsey could’ve picked a better school in my opinion. She doesn’t get much playing time” her mom said

“Oh no that’s too bad, where else did you get an offer?”

“Stanford” her mom answered

“She felt like Virginia was the best and I agree” Mike said backing her up

After dinner Lindsey texted Emily filling her in on her awesome dinner, then saying goodnight because of time difference.

“Hey Lindsey can we go for a walk” Lucas asked her

“Uh…sure”

They exited the house walking the trail they would go on when they were kids.

“Wow, feels like I haven’t been her in forever” Lindsey said hopping over a tree trunk

“Well you did everything you could to avoid me” He said

“I’m sorry”

They continued to walk in deafening silence until they reached the end when Lucas spoke up,

“I miss my best friend” Lindsey took in a deep breath, “why did you avoid me for so long, we could have worked it out”

“No..” She whispered

“Why not” she couldn’t respond, she couldn’t tell him why

“Lindsey just tell me something I don’t care if it’s a lie just tell me”

“I’m gay” She said looking up as tears welled up

“What-“

“I’m gay. I broke up with you because I’ve always been gay, I just had to make my parents happy. I hate that I chose you because I lost my best friend. I could tell you, I couldn’t tell anyone. My parents just found out, my brother too. I moved to Virginia to get away from all of this” she motioned around her.

She heard a noise next to and as she looked over she saw Lucas get up and walk away.

The tears that were once welled up have now fallen as she fell apart with them. She cried into the darkness just like she would as a teen, under the same reasons. She finally called Mike asking for him to come get her. About 5 minutes later he showed up hugging her with out even know why she was like this.

“Let’s go home yea?” She shook her head

She never told Emily what happened that night because she didn’t want her to worry. Lindsey was fine it was normal, she’s been doing this her entire life. Letting people down. No matter what her parents say she knows deep down she let them down.

The rest of the week went by the same, some text and FaceTimes with Emily and watching movies with Mike. Thanksgiving was normal her family was over and she decided to not tell any of them. She didn’t need anymore drama.

~~

Emily’s side was a bit different. After the first rocky night with her mom. The rest of the week went smoothly. Her birthday was nice to say the least, they sat around all day. The best part was when Lindsey facetimed her and they talked for hours, later telling her mom it was Rose on the phone talking about Wilma.

Thanksgiving she saw some relatives she rarely sees. Texting Lindsey throughout the day, not knowing what happened days earlier.

On Saturday she got in the car and started making her drive back to UVA thinking about one person.

Lindsey sat on the plane thinking that in hours she’ll be back in her favorite persons arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I was listening to Two Ghost by Harry Styles and then Habit by Louis Tomlinson came on after, they both gave me a great idea on where I want to go next. If you know the meaning behind both of the songs then you’ll know what to expect in the following chapters, hehe sorry. (Yes I love One Direction and Harry and Louis, DON’T JUDGE OKAY I KNOW ITS A PROBLEM)...


	13. 'If I would've known it, baby'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Em and Linds have a little uh oh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise i didn't forget about y'all :) I had a rough week. I might have cried writing this HAHA SORRY
> 
> barley edited it sorry for mistakes

When Lindsey arrived at the other blondes door, she knocked fast and the door opened within a second. The two stood still and just smiled, until Lindsey bolted forward and hugged the smaller girl. She lifted her off the ground and Emily let out a small laugh.

“Missed you so much” she whispered into Emily’s neck

“No more than I missed you” Lindsey set her down to then kiss her

It was like the two were stuck in time, taking in the feeling of each others lips. As Lindsey pulled away a smile grew on her face. Emily walked her girlfriend into her room and they laid on the bed telling each other all about break, as if they weren’t FaceTiming every night.

“How does it feel to be 21? Finally able to, legally, go to a club” Emily laughed and rolled on her side

“I don’t know, haven’t tested it out yet” Emily leaned over and started kissing the other girls neck

She started sucking on her neck, “Have you told anyone you’re girlfriends only a freshman”

“I forget sometimes I’m not going to lie” She said pulling away

“Okay, go back” She pushed Emily’s head back to where it once was

After sometime, now both girls necks marked, they get up and go out for food. Lindsey let Emily choose since it was her birthday. Also Lindsey still didn’t know many places. They arrived at this sandwich and salad place that Emily claims to have the best salad ever. The order their food, Lindsey paying for Emily’s, and go find somewhere to sit.

They ate in silence until Emily’s spoke up, “I have a question”

“…and it is?”

“Do you think I’m embarrassed to have you as my girlfriend?” She asked continuing to pick at her food

Lindsey asked, confused, “Why would you think that?”

“Well earlier you asked if I’ve told anyone I’m dating a freshman” She looked up

“Yeah but I mean that’s just unusual no? A junior dating a freshman” Lindsey looked at her

“I mean we aren’t in high school, were both adults so noting is wrong or illegal” Emily said as if It wasn’t obvious

“Yes Sonny I know. I just feel like it’s not normal” Emily grabbed Lindsey’s hand

“Linds I don’t care what people say, I love you and that’s all that should matter. Fuck other people’s opinions”

They sat and finished their food, walking hand in hand out to the car. On the way back Emily placed her hand high on Lindsey thigh making shivers go up her spine. They made it back to the dorms and into Emily’s room. Rose was going to be gone for one more day, with her plane not arriving till tomorrow morning.

Lindsey dragged Emily to the bed and pushed her down while starting to attack her neck. Sucking the same spot that was just marked hours ago, exciting a moan out Emily.

~~

Rose got back the next day, falling straight into her bed. Lindsey had left early that morning to unpack her bag and get ready for Monday practice and school.

“I hate flying” she said with a groan

“Welcome back Rosie” Emily said from the bed next to her

“Why do they schedule flights so early”

“So people can get where they want earlier”

“Yeah but it it’s no fair if they only have an extremely early one or an extremely late one”

“Rose I’ve never heard you be so opinionated on something”

Rose ignored her, “So what are you going to do now that you’re 21? Only Sam is old enough to go anywhere with you”

“Sam would never go anywhere with me”

“True. Where’s Linds?”

“She went back to her room. Do think I could convince her to go one night with me?”

“Sam?”

“Yeah, I mean only one night. I just want to experience it once”

“…because it would feel different than all the other times you’ve drank?”

“I mean maybe”

“You should just be quiet now”

“Hear me out Rosie, it’s not about the drinking, its the experience. Going to a club with other people than the ones you go to school with”

“Sonny do what you want. I can’t control you”

The next day Emily caught up with Sam on her way to class.

“Sammy” She turned around

“Hey how are you?”

“Okay, I have a question” They kept walking, “Would you be willing to go to a bar with me…?”

  
“Son do you not remember the last time we went out..oh wait you didn’t until I told you” Sam laughed

“Listen I get it I like to drink and you don’t, but you’re my only friend that is old enough to go with me” Emily explained

“I really don’t want to, you know I don’t like drinking in vulnerable places”

“Sam one drink for the both of us I promise we’ll leave after” she was desperate at this point

“Fine one drink, and then we come back” they walked into the class

“Yes, you’re the best Sammy”

All the girls reunited for the first time, since break, at practice. Mal, Rose and Lindsey were already there. Sam and Emily rolled up a few minutes before the start of it, having to run out of their class.

“You guys were almost late” Mal yelled across the field

“Yeah well our teacher took forever to finish the lecture” Emily yelled back

“Only two more minutes and we could have watch them run laps” Rose whispered causing Lindsey to giggle

“What’s so funny, freshie” Emily said sitting next to Lindsey

“Well now I’m not going to say since you called me that” she got up and walked to the field

Their practice went smooth for the rest of the time. All the girls were getting back into it and becoming comfortable again. Lindsey hitting all her targets and serving beautiful balls, like always.

“Damn girl you were on fire today” Emily nudged her

“Stop” she said with a smile on her face

As they started the walk back to the locker room Emily mentioned her big plans for the night.

“Me and Sam are going out tonight”

“Like a date…do you have something to tell me” she whispered

“Haha so funny, no were going to a bar to have ONE drink” she emphasized the word one

“Oh nice”

“That’s it?”

“I mean yeah, it’s not like you haven’t gotten drunk before. Just don’t cheat on me and you’re good”

“I would never cheat on you, I swear” she leaned into Lindsey arm

~~

The two get to the bar and go inside with no problem. The lights were bright but it was also dark, in some parts. She was mesmerized by all the lights and people everywhere. Barley hearing what Sam said inter ear, trying to talk over the blaring music,

“Remember Son, one drink”

She mumbled, “yeah”

Both girls ordered one beer and got it down relatively fast.

“Come on Sam one more, you and I both know that was nothing for us”

“Fine one more then were leaving” she said ordering another

They were now down four drinks each and finally feeling the buzz of the alcohol.

“We should go now” Sam yelled into her ear

“Come on Sam. We have to get the full experience now” she said tilting her head to the group of people dancing more like grinding on each other

“No Son, I know you. You’re going to something that will mess up the good thing you have with Linds”

“Sam one song and then we leave”

“That’s what you said about the drink” Sam was being dragged to the group

It was very hot and sweaty there, a feeling Sam would like to pass on. After the song finished she walked away from the group leaving her friend that she would have a hard time getting out of there.

She asked for a water waiting for the moment that Emily slips up and is needing to be dragged out.

Turns out that didn’t last long. A few minutes later she turned back and saw she grinding against another person, touching them in ways that is not innocent. Sam paid the bill and then walked over to Emily finally dragging her by the arm like she was little kid,

“Sam don’t ruin the fun” she stumbled behind her

Sam didn’t answer and just kept walking. She ordered a car to pick them up, pushing Emily in once it got there

Sam- _We’re on our was back, meet in R and E’s room_

Rosie- _I’m already in the room_

Linds- _coming_

Sam walked in front of Emily,

“Sam why are you mad?”

“Emily, seriously? You were just grinding up against someone and touching them in inappropriate ways, when you have a girlfriend that you love”

“Sam it’s fine Lindsey won’t know”

“Lindsey will know because I’m telling her. It’s not fair you told her that you wouldn’t, you told me that you wouldn’t and you did. She needs to know she’s dating someone that she can’t trust”

“Woah, hold on, trust me? I’m the one person you can trust”

“Obviously not since you were about to fuck someone else if I hadn’t been there”

“No, I was just having fun. Ever heard of it?”

“You have no right to say that since your ‘having fun’ is getting drunk and cheating on your girlfriend”

“I didn’t cheat” she said frustrated

Sam continued to walk upstairs, Emily following behind. She opened the door, causing both girls to look her direction. Both girls walked in looking normal.

“Why was I called up, she looks fine..you look fine…” Lindsey asked

“Go ahead Em tell her”

Rose looked at them confused, “There is nothing to tell Sam I don’t get it”

“Fuck off,” she told her “Lindsey..I caught her doing some inappropriate things to another girl” Lindsey heart dropped

“Like..?”

“Touching her..and grinding up against her”

“Sam that is such a lie I wasn’t even touching her”

“Seriously Son?” Rose asked in disbelief

“NO, Lindsey I promise I didn’t do anything nor would I want to do anything”

Lindsey looked at Sam and then back at Emily. She couldn’t find the words to say what she was thinking so instead she walked out. A single tear escaping her eyes.

“Linds-“ Rose got up and held onto her arm not letting her go out

“No, don’t” Rose grabbed her arm

“Sam why would you do that”

“Why were you going to lie to her?” Sam walked out the door

“Fuck” she said walking to her bed

“Why Sonny? You have something so good with someone who loves you so much. She fell so hard for you, every time she looks at you she can’t stop smiling. Everyone knows, on the team, they just don’t want to say anything. I know you love her too, because this is the first time I’ve seen you this happy in while..why did you do it?”

“I don’t know Rose okay? Fuck”

Emily grabbed her phone,

Sonny- _linds, im sorry_

_I love you still_

_dont leave…I need you_

Lindsey didn’t answer any of them. She laid in bed and was facing the wall as tears streamed down her face. She was stuck, her mind was racing. She felt like she couldn’t blame Emily due to her drinking but also Emily wasn’t that drunk, she seemed normal with a little buzz. She asked the same questions..did she do something wrong? Should she have stopped her from going? Was this her fault?

Everyone would tell her no but her brain told her the opposite. She felt worthless, she should have known that this wouldn’t work, wouldn’t last. Emily is at a different stage of life than she is, it should have happened.

~~

The next day Emily did everything she could to get in touch with Lindsey but nothing. No word, she didn’t even open the text. Emily thought about showing up at her door but decided against it because she didn’t want to put any pressure on her to talk.

Emily felt alone, a feeling she hasn’t felt in a while. A feeling she thought she wouldn’t have to feel for awhile longer. Lindsey hasn’t talked to her, Sam was mad at her, Mal was probably mad at her and Rose was but she tried to not show knowing Emily would be going back down her hole again soon.

She did, fall back down the hole. She would lay in bed, waiting until the absolute last second to get up. Not having the emotional or physical feeling to get up. She wondered at points what was the reason to be here. If everyone is mad, sad and disappointed who would miss her..?

Once Rose heard that she called it bullshit saying that ‘everyone wanted her here’. She asks herself if anyone ever has a different answer, it’s the same one every time. If no one can come up with a different reason her entire life then maybe they were lying…

She ran around the soccer field alone. No one beside her, Rose telling them it’s best to give her space. Except she didn’t want space she wanted to feel WANTED by someone…anyone. So she ran alone and paired with Rose during drills, coach noticed she was off and pulled her aside.

“Emily, you okay?”

“Yeah just have trouble with depression again” Her coach already knew about the problem and was able to tell if Emily was okay or not by know.

She came to point in her life where no matter how much she tired to hide it, she couldn’t. It was too overpowering she had no control anymore.

“Hey..just take it easy okay? If you aren’t felling well just go to the locker room and if you want to talk come to my office..yeah?”

“Yeah” she looked back up at him

The practice ended soon after. All the girls walked back to the locker room in a big group, Lindsey, Sam, Mal and Rose included. Rose would every now and again look back but Emily kept her head down. She changed and on the way out made a last minute stop in at her coaches office

She knocked, hearing her coach yell “come in”

“Hi”

“Emily hi, have a set” he offered the chair in front of her desk

She sat down and stayed quite finally letting the tears fall. The ones that have been sitting there all day, when they wouldn’t stop she asked herself if she was done if this was it. Her coach passed her the tissues

“Would you like to talk about it?” He asked

“Not really but I have no one so maybe this be better” she whispered

“Go ahead..when you’re ready”

“..I lost the one person that means everything to me. The one person that I felt pure happiness with. I lost my best friends, the ones who have been here for me.” She stared crying more, “I have nothing left”

“You have you’re mother and father”

“My dad died, my mom hates me because of who I love” she felt like throwing up “My dad was the only person who supported me who loved me for who I was..am…he loved everything about me. He wanted me to grow up and be this open happy person, love who made me, me. Then he died, because of me” she sniffled

“Emily..”

“Thank you for listening..see you tomorrow, maybe.” She turned and walked out the door

Seeing one person still in the locker room, tears falling down. Emily walked out and saw the other girls standing there. Rose was the only one to look at her, giving her saddened eyes as she walked out. None of the other ones turned a head, Emily felt numb.

She got back to her room where she locked the door and fell back into bed. She hasn’t eating since the banana Rose forced down last night. When Rose didn’t come back until late that night she knew she was with the other blonde. Rose brought her a half of a sandwich.

“Here” she passed the sandwich over

“Don’t want it” Emily mumbled

“Emily you have to eat”

“Why? Why should I eat when I have nothing to eat for. Rose for the past day you’ve been ignoring me barley even making eye contact”

“I know-”

“NO you don’t, because I need you the MOST right now. I need help Rose I’m stuck and I can’t get out. I’m scared, alone, I need you”

“I’m sorry” Rose came to her bed and hugged her tight

“I need you” Emily mumbled out,

Rose started tearing up she knows she failed..bad

~~

It’s Thursday, Emily’s gotten better since the breakdown in Rose’s arm. Lindsey had gotten better since Monday nights incident. Neither if the girls have talked since then Lindsey still hasn’t opened any of the text.

Emily was being sat out once again due to her mental health, most likely not playing the game the following night. She happy she has Rose back again someone she actually talk to instead of her brain.

On Friday the two girl felt off. They weren’t talking so they didn’t do their pregame routines. Some people say that they threw off the whole team but others say it was just a bad game. Lindsey would agree that it threw off the whole game.

It started out good. The offense was strong along with the defense. Not having Emily back there threw a few people off but they got use to it. Lindsey got another start and was connecting her passes and her crossed were perfect. By half it was 0-0.

The girls went back out but slipped up in the 70th minute and let a goal by. The worst happened in the 79th minute when Lindsey jumped up to head a ball, a girl from the opposing team did the same. The two girls hit heads hard, causing them to both fall to the ground.

Emily instantly jumped out of her seat and ran to the sideline. Lindsey was laying on the ground covering her eyes crying as the medic team got out there. Emily’s coach came to her side and put a hand on her shoulder

“You should sit down”

“I can’t-“

“Emily” he lead her back to the bench

The girl siting next to her grabbed her hand and held on

Lindsey a few minutes later sat up but was out of it. They lifted her up and assisted her off the field, being permanently taken off and subbed out. They sat her down behind the benches and were still talking to her as the game continued on. 

She could her Lindsey sniffle every now and again. She got off the bench and walked back there bending down, holding her hand. It’s almost as if she knew it was Emily and wanted to let go but was in so much pain she held on as tight as she could.

Lindsey wanted to die because her head hurt so much. She couldn’t even manage to open her eyes fully. When Emily grabbed her hand she wanted to let go but couldn’t because she need something to take the pain away.

Before the game ended they took Lindsey back to the locker room and Emily went with her. As they laid her down on the table she told Emily

“You should go”

“No” she said back

“Please leave because if I start crying it will cause more of a head ache” she mumbled

“Listen I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I’m sorry Linds I really am. And I love you so much it’s stupid. I need you, you make me happy, make me feel wanted in life. Something that almost took me away, but when I met you I wanted to stay forever. What I did the other night was terrible and I will forever feel shitty about it but I can’t take it back. You can forgive me and I can be here for you, even as a friend. I’m okay with that”

“I need time Em” she reached over to grab her hand, “but please stay”

“I will” she squeezed her hand “I will”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short angst lol. Umm so long story short we had to put my dog down last weekend and it wasn't easy so i decided to take the weekend off, but i will be posting again this weekend so look out!!


	14. ‘Two can play that game, but you win me every time’

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily and Lindsey make up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, told ya I’d be back soon. Idk when I’ll be able to post again, hopefully soon. Anyways enjoy!
> 
> I ran out of time towards the end to edit so ignore errors if there are some!

After the end of the game Lindsey and Emily were both still sitting in the locker room, hand in hand. Lindsey was in so much pain that the heartbreak, from earlier that week, doesn’t compare. Or maybe it did. Her head hurts too much she can’t think of which hurt more. It was confusing.

“Lindsey any nausea?” The trainer asked once again

Lindsey shook her head no, not wanting to talk.

“Okay, you can go. Just monitor her symptoms closely. Come back tomorrow and we’ll check you out again. Also try to keep her up for a little bit, to make sure she’s really good. If any symptoms pop up, you should think about going to the hospital. ”

She sat up slowly, grasping onto Emily’s arm for support. Her first step made her dizzy causing her to step back and sit back on the table. The other girls made their way into the room just as the two blondes were about to leave.

“Lindsey, you good?” Mal asked

She nodded her head, which made Emily speak up to settle the worried faces of the other girls.

“She okay. No vomiting or nausea just some pain in her noggin” she tapped Lindsey’s head lightly

“Linds, I’ll walk you back” Sam spoke up

Emily touched Lindsey’s arm, “No, it’s cool Sammy I got her”

“You sure you won’t try to take advantage of her. You and I both know she can’t think straight” she raised her eyebrows

“Sam” Rose said the same time Mal joked, “she never did”

“Why would I do that?…it’s just that she’s in pain and I’m ready to go-“ Emily removed her hand

“I want her to” Lindsey mumble out

“Linds you don’t-“

“Sam” Rose pulled her away, “they’re fine. I promise”

Over the few days that Rose and Emily were MIA from the rest of the group, Emily admitted that she still deeply cares and loves Lindsey and doesn’t want her to leave. Ever. She made a commitment to do anything, just to get Lindsey back, even if it was as a friend.

“Come on Linds” Lindsey grabbed her hands and was being helped up.

Emily had a tight grip on her side to make sure that she wouldn’t fall on the way back to her room. They made it to the door of the dorm, sitting down at the bench they first connected at. Lindsey rested her head again Emily’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry” Emily whispered into the darkness

“Not now, please”

“I know I just need you to know how sorry I am. Seriously Linds, I’m the worse person ever. I don’t know what to say because I can’t imagine what I did to you-”

“Shh” Lindsey grabbed her hand intertwining their fingers

The two girls sat on the bench and waited in the dark until Lindsey was ready to walk upstairs. She made it up with no trouble and as they walked through the door Sarah popped up out of bed. Emily led Lindsey to her own bed helping her get under the covers.

“What happened?” Sarah asked

Emily took lead, “Lindsey got a concussion durning the game, she hit her head against another girls while going up for a header”

“Oh no, Linds you okay?” She asked her friend

“People really need to stop with that question” Lindsey said now facing the wall

“Her head hurts and she’s dizzy…so no not really, but she could be worse” Emily pointed out

“Do you need anything?”

She shook her head and was about to close her eyes when Emily spoke up again.

“Linds, you should go take a shower. Remember the trainer said to not sleep for at least 3 hours it hasn’t even been one” Lindsey groaned and rolled over now facing the smaller blonde

“I don’t like that”

“You can get your shower done with and then after I’ll sit next to you while you watch Netflix to make sure you don’t fall asleep. It sounds like fun” Emily smile grew on her face hearing the sarcasm fall from her mouth.

“What if I fall?” She asked closing her eyes

“In the shower..?” Lindsey hummed back a response, “then I’ll wait outside the door just incase”

“We’re not…you know”

“I know, so you better not fall Ms. Horan” Lindsey smiled and got up again

They gathered her things for the shower and walked into the bathroom. Lindsey got into it completely fine, and just stood there and thought about this whole situation.

Did she make a mistake letting Emily back this fast and easily? She was pretty vulnerable, just wanting someone, anyone, there with her. Does she still love her, did the incident damage her emotions too much? She keep that one in mind all week. She now knows that she still loves Emily and always will, but what she did hurt bad. Did it hurt so bad that they are over? No, she knows they’ll be okay. Or maybe she just hopes.

Emily said she still loves her and wants her. Lindsey wants the same, but she can’t let her back in so easily. She can’t let her in to do it again, to then destroy what they have.

“Linds you good in there?” She heard from the other side of the glass causing her to jump out of her head

“Yea” she weakly responded

“You take forever to shower..I forgot. Should have had Sarah come with you” Lindsey smiled at the joke

She finished the shower and walked out to her…girlfriend? Lindsey had no idea what she was at this point. Emily did mention friends, but they never broke up they just weren’t talking.

“Em…”

“Yeah?”

“What are we?” She asked in a soft voice 

Emily looked at her confused, “What do you mean?”

“Are we still girlfriends? Or not..you said something about being friends….are we done?” She asked again with a saddened tone

“No, Linds we aren’t done. I hope we aren’t done. I said that because you weren’t talking to me and I just wanted to be here for you. I’m willing though to be your friend until we’re able to talk about it all.”

Lindsey thought about what she said, “I want to talk”

“Let’s wait till you’re in less pain..yeah?” Lindsey nodded her head and the two of them made their way back to the room

When they got inside Lindsey walked over to her bed and laid down. Her wet hair hit the pillow, which would normally bother her but she was in so much pain, she just needed to lay down. Emily brought over some pain medication which Lindsey quickly swallowed. She pulled a chair up next to her bed, pulling up Netflix and turning on The Office.

The brightness of the screen hurt her sys they ended up turning it off and talked for a bit until the three hours were up. They talked about a ton of different things, but no mention about the relationship, until the end of the hours. 

“Need a kiss, it always makes me feel good, but if you’re my friend I can’t do that. I want to talk now” Lindsey mumbled out

Emily didn’t necessarily want to talk incase this conversation could somehow turn directions and become something bad. She knows now that Lindsey wants to be okay and not give up, that boosted her confidence but that feeling that it would all go bad wouldn’t leave. She could also tell how tired the younger girl was and just wanted her to get rest,

She brushed a piece of Lindsey’s hair back, “Let’s save it for the morning yeah?”

“Will you still be here?” her eyes started becoming heavier with sleep approaching

“I have to go back to my room, but I’ll come early tomorrow and we can talk”

“Okay” she whispered starting to doze off

~~

The next day Emily arrived at her dorm around 10:30. She knocked on the door, which was answered shortly after by Sarah.

“She’s still asleep” she opened the door wider letting Emily in

She walked over to her and shook Lindsey’s arm trying to wake her up. She moved a bit while making a noise,

“Linds?” She grumbled and rolled over now facing the wall, “hey, why don’t you get up. We can get breakfast then go see the trainer”

It took some more convincing to get the girl up. She sat up immediately asking for the windows to be closed due to the brightness. Emily told her that maybe it was a better idea to not go anywhere and just at the dorm, in the dark. Emily left to go get breakfast from downstairs and bring it back up.

When she returned the younger girl was on her phone,

“hey what are doing” she walked over and took the phone closing it, “that’s going to give you a bigger headache, doofus” she teased

“My parents called me I was going to respond” she said, taking the muffin out of Emily’s hand

“I call them now, you don’t have to talk” Emily called her parents, they accepted in minutes

_“Lindsey?”_ her mom asked

“Hi Mr. and Mrs. Horan, it’s Emily”

Her father chimed in, _“Oh hello dear! Is Lindsey okay, we saw what happened and she wasn’t answering our calls last night”_

“Yeah, it was rough but she’s tough” she smiled at Lindsey, with her returning it. ”It is a concussion, but she’s doing good now back in her dorm.”

_“Oh that’s good. Will you or one of the girls be there?”_

“Yes, I’ll be by her side the whole week and keep you guys updated” she confirmed

_“Sounds good sweetie, thank you for being such a good girlfriend to our daughter. It’s good to know she’s with someone who cares this much about her”_

“I will always care about her, she means the world to me” Lindsey’s smile grew wider

She hung up and put the phone down, taking a seat on the same chair she pulled over the night before.

“You should stop smiling it will make your head hurt more” she said with a little laugh

“Stop Sonny, that was sweet” she turned her attention to the muffin in front of her

“It’s true Linds” she reached over to the muffing brushing her hand against Lindsey’s

“I know” she looked at the older girl, “I still love you” she whispered

She looked up, “I love you too”

“But what you did..hurt” her voice cracked at the end, “and the fact that you put Sam in that situation, made it worse”

“I know” her voice lowered

“I tired so hard to hate you. I wanted to hate you so much, but it was impossible”

* **flashback** *

Lindsey walked down the hall as fast as she could. Needing to get out of that room. When she reached her door it was locked. She fidgeted with the handle until Sarah opened it

“Lindsey? What wrong?” She asked

The blonde walked into the room. Her chest started becoming tighter, it was becoming harder to breath. Her vision was becoming darker and she was struggling to gather herself. Sarah walked over and placed her hand on the girls repeating, “you’ll be okay, just breath”

Soon the young blonde was able to gather her breath and calm down. Sarah sat her on the bed and asked for the whole back story

“..and then I ran out” she finished, “I should have listened to you”

Sarah was confused, “What do you mean?”

“When you said she uses people. She got sex and then moved on” she started crying

Sarah sighed, “She does do that, but Linds you guys had something special. Something different. She cares about you, an emotion I’ve never seen out of her with any other girl”

“So she doesn’t care about the people she uses?”

“Well no, that came out wrong. She’s the sweetest most caring person, it just there is a big difference when it’s just sex and when it’s an actual relationship”

“You’re making it hard for me to hate her” she rested her head against the brunettes shoulder

“You shouldn’t, but I’m also not telling you to take her back. She really hurt you Linds, she needs to know that. She needs to know that this can’t happen again, she can’t do that to you”

“I know” she said weakly

* **end of flashback** *

“Fuck” she said under her breath, “Linds, I need you to forgive me. Even if it’s to the point where we can’t be together anymore than fine, I just need you as someone in my life. Preferable a girlfriend but if it’s as a friend that would work too. I just need you Linds, please.”

“Em stop. I told you I love you. I will always love you. I need you to know what you did was wrong, it hurt bad. You can’t do that because I will leave then and I don’t want to” she grabbed the girls hand

“So..”

“Come kiss me and cuddle with me already. I need to make this head ache go away” she pulled the older girl up, smashing their lips together in a kiss

“I’m sorry”

“You better stop saying that sometime soon” she pushed her back into the chair

Emily laughed and moved the half eaten muffin off of the bed. She crawled into it and laid beside her girlfriend, spooning her from behind. She brushed her fingers in between her hair causing her to wince at some point due to the pull on her head. Emily would stop until Lindsey forced her to continue. 

Lindsey started to fall asleep until Emily whispered into her ear that they should go to the trainers room.

“Just to get a check out. It’s the weekend so it won’t be as busy” Lindsey hummed in confirmation and rolled out of bed

On the way down there, the taller girl had sun glasses on and a hood making her look like a vampire of some sort. they were holding hands and they walked there.

“You need to apologize to Sam” Lindsey told her

“Yeah, I will”

“Seriously Em, like today”

“I will Linds, I promise” she squeezed her hand

They entered the room and Lindsey made her way to the table siting down. The trainer confirmed it for sure is s concussion, she told them that Lindsey was clear to hang out in her dorm for the week. No reason to go to the hospital.

Emily asked her a few questions and then the two were on their way back to the room.

“What are you going to do?”

“Show up at her door and ask for forgiveness” she laughed

“So the same thing you did to me?” Lindsey raised her eyebrows

“Eh something like that”

That night she did just that, knocking at Sam and Mal’s door. Sam opened it, not impressed to see the short blonde.

“Sam, listen I know you hate me. I’d hate myself too. I put you in a terrible situation, and the fact that I was going to lie to Lindsey was fucked up. I’m glad you told her, I’m thankful you told her. I want you to know we figured out her problem and that I didn’t go and help her so that I could do that. She wanted to. Anyways, I hope you could maybe forgive me?” Emily finished

“I understand, but I’m not as easy as Lindsey to win me back over. You’re going to have to work for it. I specifically told you I didn’t want that to happen and it did and then I had to clean up after you” Sam explained

“I know. I know” she looked at the ground

Sam said in a sincere voice “I’m glad you were able to work things out, Son. I didn’t want it to go south, I just couldn’t lie”

“Totally understandable” she agreed

“Have a good night Sonny. See you tomorrow”

“See you Sammy” she turned around and walked down the hallway with a smile.

Now that she had all her friends back, she knew she couldn’t fuck up again. Never.

“Hello Rosie!” She said in an excited voice

Rose closed her computer, “Hi Em, what’s up?”

“Well me and Linds are good now, while Sam and I are able to have a conversation with out me getting the death stare” she jumped on her bed

“Progress” she pointed out

“A lot”

“I’m happy for you Sonny. I knew you would be able to do it” she threw a pillow at her

“Thanks Rose” she smiled

Finally it was all back to normal. She had her friends, but most importantly her girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter sorry :( I just wanted to hold onto my promise of posting again. I hope you liked it! The angst is now over lol. 
> 
> If you have any suggestions, or ways to improve/continue this story leave recommendations in the comments! I’ll for sure include them in upcoming chapters!


	15. 'Am I falling in love'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm running out of titles for this story LMAO.
> 
> another short one sorry. unedited, i got an actually headache writing about headaches lol.

Monday morning Lindsey wakes with a mild headache. She gets up and dreads having to go to her morning class.  _ “Why did I choose a morning class?”  _ She asks herself, walking to her door. As she made her way to the stairs she saw Emily standing by the entry. 

“Why are you here, do you follow my every move?” She asked jokingly

“Sometimes” Emily pulled the taller blonde into a hug, “I missed you” she mumbled into her sweatshirt

She smiled over how whipped the older girl was, “We saw each other last night” 

“How does your head feel” Emily asked 

“Hurts still…a lot” 

Emily looked up at her, “You know you don’t have to go to class” 

“I know but I should”

“Linds you aren’t even going to be able to pay attention if your head is hurting”

“I’ll be fine” She kissed her girlfriends head, “I have to go”

“I’ll walk with you” Emily grabbed the younger girls hand

“Sonny you don’t have to do that. I’ll be okay walking to class”

“Just let me” she begged

They walked down the stairs hand in hand. Keeping small talk as they walk over to Lindsey’s first class.

“You going to practice today?” Emily asked

“No, they won’t let me until my headache’s are completely gone” Emily hummed in response

As they walked up to the door of her class, the older girl left a peck on the Lindsey’s cheek and walked back to her room. 

Lindsey sat in class that morning not being able to pay full attention to what was going on. Of course she would never admit that to Emily, not wanting to hear her boast about being right. She sat in the class taking notes, but still not fully understanding them.

She still had a pounding headache that was just getting worse as time went on. The more she would try to focus on something in the room, the more she wished she was back in her dorm. The class finally wrapped up and she got out of the room as fast as she could. 

Once she got outside she lifted her hood onto her head trying to block out the sun. She felt someone grab her arm which caused her to turn around, to see Rose. 

“You okay?” Rose asked cautiously 

“Yea, I’m good why?”

“You just looked lost for a second, how are you feeling?”

“Fine, my head hurts that’s all. I was on my way back to my room, so I can lay down” She explains 

Rose looked at the younger girl surprised, “So you’re not going to breakfast today?”

Lindsey just wanted to be back in her room so she tried her hardest to wrap up the conversation, “No, tell Em i’ll be in my room”

“You want me to go with you?” Rose offered 

“I’m okay Rosie, I promise” She started walking away towards her dorm

~~

Rose walked into the dinning hall to grab some food before making her way to the table. 

She saw Sam over by the fruits debating which one looked the freshest, “Hey Sammy” 

“Hi Rose, which banana looks the best?”

“That one for sure” she said pointing to the ripest one

Sam looked around, “Where’s Linds? Don’t you two normally come together to breakfast on Monday’s?”

“Yeah we normally do, but Lindsey wasn’t feeling good so she walked back to her room” Rose told her 

“Oh, should we tell Emily?”

Rose thought back to their conversation, “I don’t know she sounded like she just wanted to be alone” she continues on, “speaking of Em, how are you guys?”

“Uh, I mean I think we’re good, but I’m still pissed. That was a sucky situation to be put in”

“I know, I was mad at her too. I still am, but you could tell she felt bad for doing it” Rose said grabbing her last thing

The two girls started walking to the table, finally having their food. “I know, I could tell that when she came to apologize. I guess if they are okay, I am too”

They saw Emily and Mall sitting together at there normal spot, “hey guys” Emily greeted them

“Where’s Linds?”

“Question of the hour huh?” Sam said

“She said she wasn’t feeling good, so she went back to her dorm” Rose explained

Emily looked down at her phone to see if Lindsey texted her and she just missed it, but there was nothing. 

Rose looked at her, “I’m sure she’s fine. It sounding like she just wanted to lay down. You have to give her space.”

“I know, I just want her to feel better. I feel like I should be there.” Emily started picking at her food again

“I’m sure she’s fine”

~~

Lindsey entered her room and collapsed onto her bed. Her head still hurt so much, it was beginning to cause her to get nauseous. When she got up to close the blinds that were causing so much light to peer into her room, a wave of dizziness hit her. 

The dizziness and nausea cause her to rush to the nearest trash can and throw up noting but the water she drank earlier in the morning. She whipped her mouth and feel back into her bed. She texted Emily,

Linds-  _ come to room _

Emily got the message while at breakfast. She excused herself and made her way out. The other girls looked at her confused, but let her go.

Em-  _ coming _

Emily walked as fast as she could to the younger girls room, nearly shoving some people out of the way. Once she got there she ran up the stairs not caring that her legs were burning. She opened the unlocked door and rushed in. 

“Hey baby, you okay?” Emily walked over to the side of her bed

“No” she mumbled into the pillow case

“What happened?” Lindsey pointed over to the trash can

Emily walked over to where to where the girl was pointing and looked in to see the incident from earlier. She gagged as quietly as she could, Emily turned around and walked to the bed. 

Lindsey rolled over now looking Emily. 

“That’s gross Linds” she joked

“Stop my head hurts a lot” she complained 

Emily brushed hair out of the younger girls face, “I know, sorry. Let me get rid of the bag and then get you some medicine. Are you hungry at all?” She asked 

Lindsey shook her head and Emily picked up the trash bag and took it out. As she walked back in Lindsey was in the same position as before

“Okay, let’s get you this medicine” She grabbed the bottle and poured out some pills into her hand

She handed Lindsey a water bottle and then some pills. The younger girl laid back down after swallowing the pills. 

“Come lay down with me” she mad grabby hands toward the other blonde

“Okay” Emily climbed into bed with her and laid down. 

She’s learned a few things about sick Lindsey. One, she doesn’t like it when you joke. Two, she likes being cuddled and being the small spoon on top of that. She also doesn’t eat a lot, so you have to force it down her. Stubborn but that’s also normal Lindsey. 

Both girls end up falling back asleep and are only wakened by Sarah who was back from her last class. 

“Don’t you have practice soon” she whispered to Emily

Emily looked down at the clock, “shit, yeah. Thanks for waking me up” 

“Yeah no problem” Emily climbed out of the bed and started walking out

“Just let her sleep she wasn’t feeling good” She informed Sarah 

“Oh okay, I will”

Emily walked out the door, just now realizing that she missed all her classes today. She ran to the field being just 2 minutes “early”. 

“Wow Sonny, almost late again” Rose joked

“Shut up Rose” she slipped on her boots

“How’s Linds?” Mal asked

“Not feeling good. She texted me to come over and when I walked in I saw throw up in the trash” She told them

“That’s gross” Sam added

“Trust me, I know, I had to get rid of it” Their coach called them all over

“Does anyone know where Lindsey is?”

“Yeah, she’s still hurting from her concussion. It’s gotten worse over the last couple of days, and the last I saw her she was sleeping” Emily answered

“With you” Rose said in-between coughs, and Emily elbowed her in the ribs

“Oh okay. Tell her to see the trainer whenever she feels good enough to go”

They were in the middle of practice when Lindsey walked up. Not in practice clothes just sweats and and a sweatshirt. She had a talk with the coaches and her and the trainer walked off into the locker room. At the end of the practice their coach gathered them again.

“Alright girls, good practice. We have an away game this week. From the looks of it, Lindsey probably won’t play. So show me who wants to fill her position. That’s it for today, stay hydrated, keep your body’s heathy and we’ll see you tomorrow.” They group separated and went their own ways

Emily made her way to the locker room to see if Lindsey was still in there. As she was about to open the door the tall blonde walked out.

“Hey you” she said

“Hi” Lindsey said in a saddened voice

“I heard you might not be playing” Emily pushed the girls hood off, since the sun had set and it wasn’t as bright out

“No, I’m not. They aren’t even going to let me practice this week, at all” she said disappointed

“I mean it is pretty bad Linds, and it’s only getting worse” Emily reminded her

“I know” Lindsey answered now in an annoyed voice

“Hey calm down. I know it sucks to not play, I didn’t play last week. You’ll get through it. You still have three more years don’t forget” She rubbed Lindsey’s forehead

“Stop, now you’re trying to make it sound like I have memory loss”

“You kinda do Linds” it made the younger girl laugh.

Later that night with girl were now laying in Emily’s room. They both were laying there staring at the ceiling above them. 

“Linds, we’re good right?” Emily asked

“Yes Em, I promise”

“You’re going to be alone on Friday and Saturday” Emily mentioned

“I know, and you guys better not loose. I want to played one more time” 

The team was competing to make it into the final. It was a one loss knockout. They won the week before so they were still in it. This week they play UCLA in California, so it was a ways away. 

“I’m going to be so far from you” Emily said turning into Lindsey’s body.

“I know, but it’s only two days we did it for a week, I think we can do a two days” Lindsey reminded her 

“I know we can, but what if you don’t feel good?” Emily said as if she was pointing out the obvious

“I have Sarah, she will take care of me” 

That night they said, goodbye, and went their separate ways only to meet up again the next day. 

The rest of the week flew by, school, practice, sleep, repeat. 

~~

It was now Friday morning before boarding the bus, Emily went to Lindsey’s room to say goodbye, even though they said it last night. She knocked on the door, Lindsey opened it with tired smile.

“Hi, I came to say goodbye”

“We did that last night silly” she brought Emily into a hug

Lindsey had been feeling better as the days went by. Her head still hurt but it was barely there anymore. She felt good, but sad since she wouldn’t be helping her team today. 

“I’ll miss you” Emily mumbled into her shoulder

“I’ll miss you more. Go win for me, yeah?” 

“Of course” Emily pulled away and kissed her girlfriend, “I love you”

Lindsey heart fluttered, “I love you too”

Emily walked off, turning around to smile at the women she loved the most. Later that night Lindsey put the game on her computer. She watched her girlfriend run around the field along her friends. She smiled every time Emily touched the ball, or completed a pass, actually she smiled at every little thing she did. 

UVA was down 2-0 by halftime. It wasn’t looking good for them. Lindsey was mad at herself, at her head, at the world. She just wanted to be there. 

Once the second half started Rose made a perfect pass to Mal, who was onside of the defenders, she was able to take a shot making it 2-1. 

Sam then got a hold of the ball and rocketed it into the goal outside the 18, shortly after. The game turned around, until Emily went in for a slide tackle and got a foul called on her, in the 18. It was a bullshit call, but they had trust in their goalie. Good thing they did because she was able to save it.

Rose once again made a pass to one of the other forwards and she was able to make it 3-1, off the crossbar. 

Once the final whistle blew not only did the girls on the field feel relieved but so did Lindsey, who was on the edge of her seat back at the dorm. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, i'm seriously running out of ideas for this story. IF YOU HAVE ANY PLEASE HELP A GIRL OUT. anyways thanks for reading!


	16. 'Everyone before you was a waste of time'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually feel so good about this chapter. For some I’m just happy about it. Once again thank you for all the great recommendations in the comments they really helped build this chapter and the rest of the story. If you ever have more just let a girly know and I’ll add them. I love hearing recommendations it keeps me going knowing people actually read this and like it lol.

Emily walks off the bus sore and tired. Last night she didn’t get a good night of sleep, due to her body hurting after taking many big hits during the game. The entire night she was tossing and turning because she every position she laid in ached. 

She looked around for the familiar face that told her she would be there. There was her girlfriend leaning against a tree with a smile on her face. She walked over finally reaching the younger girl, pulling her into a hug. 

“Hi cutie” Lindsey whispered into her hair

“Hi” she mumbled into Lindsey’s chest

The hug didn’t last long since they haven’t told anyone on their team they are dating. Of course there are rumors and conspiracies, but neither of them confirmed nor denied them. 

When Mal and Sam got off the bus next Lindsey hugged them too, just so it made their interaction look semi-normal. Although it was pretty obvious, to everyone, that Lindsey and her had a special bond compared to the others.

Rose exits the bus last because she was tying her shoe and just let everyone clear out before her. She walked up to the group and Lindsey went to give her a hug too,

“Hey Rosie” Lindsey said walking over to Rose

Rose turned to the side to deflect the hug, “don’t hug me, I don’t like them” 

“Noted” Lindsey said walking back to Emily

The girls all walked into the dorms and split ways going up the stairs. As her, Rose and Lindsey walked up the stairs back to their dorm, Emily took Lindsey’s hand in her own. Once the door opened they all walked in together, but Lindsey then stoped Emily and kissed her. Rose gagged from the corner and closed her eyes,

“Guys give me two minutes to grab my stuff then do your thing. Please just wait two minutes” Rose yelled from the other side of the room

Emily smiled into the kiss eventually breaking it. Rose quickly grabbed her things,

“Bye Rose love you” Emily yelled as Rose walked out of the room, “now where were we” she mumbled against Lindsey’s lips

The kiss picks up speed as the two girls walk across the room to the bed. Lindsey swiped her tongue against Emily’s lips. Emily pulled back and looked her girlfriend in the eye,

“Linds we can’t you’re-“ she started

“I’m fine” Lindsey pushed her down onto the bed, “I’ve had no headache all weekend” she bent down kissed and kiss Emily, softly, a few times

Emily put her hand on Lindsey’s chest, “Are you sure?” 

“Yes” Lindsey pushed Emily into the bed as she went back to kissing her

Lindsey slide her leg in between Emily’s, causing the older girl to let out moan. This is the first time either girl has been touched since the fight. Emily placed her hand on Lindsey’s hips, digging them in to signal to move on. 

Lindsey lifted Emily’s shirt up and over her head quickly. They were able to keep themselves occupied for some time.   
Emily rolled off of Lindsey, both girls out of breath.

“That was so good Em” Lindsey said coming down from her high

Emily now curling into Lindsey’s side, “Yeah it was really good” she took a few more deep breaths, “I’m going to be even more sore than I was before this all” 

Lindsey laughed into her hair, “I love you”

“I love you a lot more” she said yawing

They girls laid in silence for a bit, Lindsey thought Emily fell asleep until she felt her drawing shapes and letters on her skin. 

“Winter break is soon. If we lose this weekend, that means we go home” Lindsey whispered breaking the deafening silence

“Yeah, for a whole month we’d be apart” Emily added on

Lindsey was scared to ask her next question, knowing what Emily would say, “What if I went home with you?”

Emily just laid there, “Linds that’s not a good idea. I haven’t told my mom any of this. I have a strong feeling she’ll disapprove, she’s nothing like my dad, or how he use to be” 

“So you’re just going to keep me a secret to her the rest of your life?” Lindsey asked, “What if we decide to get married Em? What are you going to do, be like ‘oh mom this is my fiancé’? That’s messed up”

Emily lifted her head, “Lindsey that’s not the problem. The problem is I’m terrified” she exaggerated the word, “that she isn’t going to except me for me and that I will lose my mom” she looked at Lindsey “I love you. I want the whole world to know that you’re mine, but I’m not ready to lose my mom. Not yet.”

“Sonny I can still go though, just introduce me as your friend. Please babe. I just want to spend time with you” she rubbed the older girls arm

Emily thought about every single possibility. Lindsey was right, one way or another her mom would find out the two girls are dating so she might as well get this done with and just hope for the best. 

“Okay” she said softly, laying her head back down

School had ended the week before this so the girls got to sleep in everyday only having practice to do during the day. The end of the week comes, Friday the semi-finals. 

All the family members were there. Lindsey got the start, she’s been working her ass off in practice to earn the starting spot again. The girls were up 1-0 in the first half, props to Mal for scoring the goal after Emily’s amazing cross. They went into halftime staying up by that one goal. 

The entire team new it wasn’t enough to win the game, that they had to push harder. Once they got back on the field, Lindsey striped the ball from the other midfielder. She ran as fast as her legs could move, feeling the burn in her legs. She made it to the 18, now by herself taking the shot and tucking it into the top corner of the goal. 

She feel to the ground on her knees, only to be lifted by one of the other girls seconds later. All of the girls running in excitement to hug her. She got subbed out in the 75th minute due to their coach wanting to mange her minutes.

The game ended with a 2-1 victory. Lindsey ran onto the field towards her favorite person. Emily jumped in her arms almost taking her down. They were into the finals. After the game ended, they went to go see their families, 

“I missed you guys” Lindsey said hugging her mom and dad at the same time

“We missed you too sweetheart, you played amazing” her mom complimented her

Lindsey wanted to cry right there, this was the first time her mom had complimented her playing. Her mom always told her she was making a mistake, her entire life she said that. After she came out to her parents, a lot changed. They changed. 

“Thank you” she said 

“Now where’s that girlfriend of yours?” Her dad asked looking around for Emily

“She’s with her mom and sister over there” she pointed to them

“Oh, have you met her mom?” Her dad asked

Lindsey turned back to her parents, “No, Emily doesn’t want me to yet so I’m waiting till she’s ready” 

“Well let’s go introduce ourselves, it’s the nice thing to do” her mom insisted

Emily had greeted her mom, who congratulated her and told her she played great. She’s was on such a high she nearly forgot that Lindsey’s parents were there the same time her mom was. It was the sight of Lindsey’s parents the made her remember

She looked at Lindsey who was walking over to her on the field. Her eyes wide open giving Lindsey the ‘no don’t let them meet yet’ face. Lindsey gave an apologetic look. 

“Hi we’re Mark and Linda Horan. Lindsey here is our daughter” Her mom introduced them

“Oh hello, I do remember meeting Lindsey the last time I was here. How are you?” She smiled at Lindsey

“Good” Lindsey smiled back

“I’m Jane Sonnett and this is my daughter, Emma Sonnett” Jane introduced herself 

“Nice you meet you two.” They all shook hands while the two girls stood next to each other on the field. 

It was an awkward situation. One side knew everything while the other knew nothing.

“Emily dear how are you” Lindsey’s mom hugged her

“I’m great Mrs. Horan” Emily responded 

“Oh you know to call me Linda” Both Emily and Lindsey smiled at the same time

“We should all go get dinner, how about that” Lindsey’s eyes widened at her dad’s suggestion

“You know what dad. I think maybe we should get dinner just us three, I want to catch up with you guys” 

“Sweetie we just saw each other a couple of weeks ago” he answered as if it wasn’t obvious 

“Yeah but a lot has happened” Lindsey said trying to give her dad the hint to back off

“No, I like the idea. Emily you’ve been here a while where’s the best place” Jane asked her daughter 

“Uh, okay. Let me think for a second. Meet me and Lindsey by the parking lot, we’re going to change and I’ll tell you there” She said grabbing her girlfriends arm pulling her off the field before anyone could answer her

They finally make it into the locker room. Emily pulls her into a room where no one can see them or hear them. Emily shuts the door behind her,

“Seriously Linds, you couldn’t just stay the fuck away could you?” She said aggressively 

“Em, calm down. I told them not to go over there. They did it, saying it was the ‘nice’ thing to do. I told them I was waiting for you, until you were ready, so stop blaming me” Lindsey responded 

“Fuck Lindsey. What if it all comes out, what if they slip up and say something they aren’t suppose too. Linds I want one more Christmas with my mom. I want her to be at the final next week. I can’t do this” She said pacing around the room brushing her hair back with her hands

Everything in the room was starting to spin around. She could feel her hands start to tremble and it felt as if the room was running out of air. Emily backed up into the wall and slide down it

“Em?” Lindsey said walking towards her girlfriend 

She knelt down in front of her, “hey baby, take a deep breath for me” she grabbed Emily’s hands “I’m right here. You’re okay, everything will be okay. Follow my breathing” 

Once she was able to get Emily back breathing normal, Emily fell forward into her girlfriends arms. Lindsey wrapped her arms tightly around the older girl not letting go of her

“Don’t make me go, please” she begged

“Okay, we won’t. I’ll tell my parents I’m not feeling good so we’re going back up and I’ll tell them to make an excuse to tell you’re mom” Emily nodded in her arms

That night, Lindsey and Emily fell asleep in each others arms…not letting go of each other.

The next Friday came around the team was in Oregon for the game. It was the night of the final. Nerves were high, excitement was even higher. 

All the girls once again got a start. Lindsey was surprised she did, she was almost certain that she would have been benched especially since it’s the last game. 

By halftime the score was still at 0-0. It wasn’t that the girls were playing bad, it’s just that the other team was that good. They were going into the 85th minute still at 0-0. Their coach hasn’t subbed any midfielders or defenders out yet. Just a forward. When one of their defenders made a clean tackle and striped the ball, Sam was close enough to get to it. She was able to clear it up to one of the open forwards who crossed the ball right to Rose’s left foot, which as always, rockets to the back of the net.

The crowd went quite, well not completely but majority of the fans were from Oregon so it wasn’t the loudest. When the final whistle blows Lindsey falls to the floor, on her knees. 

“We did it” she whispers to herself

She felt someone tackle her from behind, “We did it Linds” she heard a familiar voice come from behind her

“We did” she grabbed onto her arms as they fell into the grass

The two girls just laid in the grass until Rose and Sam came over and helped them up. The rest of the night was a complete blur but Lindsey does remember getting some action later in bed. 

~~~

Lindsey rested her head against Emily’s shoulder once they were on the plane to Georgia. She fell asleep seconds later. The rush of wining the championship was a lot for one person. 

The flight was way too long. Lindsey woke up two hours later and they still had four more to go. She tried messing with her girlfriend but Emily did everything in her power to ignore Lindsey’s antics. 

“Come on Son, nothing” she said messing around with the cup that was once filled with water

“Stop, you’re going to lose the cup, and now it’s dirty you can’t use that again” She pointed out

“Oh yeah? Watch me” she said raising the cup up to her mouth but not letting it actually touch

“If you do that I’m not kissing you anytime soon” Emily reply focusing her attention back to the movie in front of her

Lindsey set the cup down with a huff, “you’re no fun”

The last four hours were soon up and the girls finally got off the plane. Emily texted her mom that they were at baggage claim getting well…their bags. 

Before they left she was able to tell her mom that Lindsey was going to visit with them for a while just to get the Georgia experience. Obviously her mother was okay with that seeing as Lindsey was with her in the airport.

The two girls got their bag and walked out the doors to the car. 

“Hello girls!” Jane exclaimed 

“Hi mom” Emily hugged her mom

Lindsey was next for the hugs, “Hi Mrs. Sonnett. Thanks for letting me stay” 

“Anytime. Should we get going?” Jane asked them

“Yeah” Emily said lifting their bags into the car 

Instantly Georgia was different than what Lindsey had imagined. She always thought of it as a dry deserted area, but it was quite the opposite. Emily’s family lived in the suburbs of her town. All the houses were nicely decorated for the holidays, almost as if it was an unspoken rule to have your house decorated to the max. 

Once they pulled up to her house she was shocked to see how nice it looked. Not that she thought it would be a bad house, it’s just Emily never shared this side of her.

“Welcome, Linds” Emily said as they entered the house

“Wow, Sonny, this is very nice” she said almost in a whisper

“Emily dear, show Lindsey her room” Jane told her

“Come on” she nodded her head to the stairs

They walked up the staircase. Lindsey would stop every now and again to admire one of the baby pictures of Emily on the wall beside them. 

“..and here you are Ms. Horan” She said opening the door to the guest room

“Thank you ma’am. How can I tip you, it was great service” she asked

“I think I know how” Emily said closing the door behind her 

She walked over and kissed the younger girl aggressively, but shortly pulled away

“The best part of this room is that you are right across the hall from your favorite person” she raised her eyebrows

“Emma?” Lindsey joked 

“Never mind, I’m over serving you” she opened the door and walked out while Lindsey laughed from behind her

The girls made their way back downstair to the kitchen where Emily’s mom and Emma were. 

“Did you get settled in honey?” Jane asked her

Lindsey nodded her head, “yes I did. Once again thank you for letting me stay”

“Anytime. Why don’t we get dinner started and then we can wind down with a movie” Jane smiled, “Emily, wash the vegetables off please” 

“Okay mom” She walks over to grab the vegetables

Lindsey sits at the counter and admires her girlfriend, or friend, from a distance. For as much as Emily talked about how difficult her mother was, she very kind and considerate for her guest. Technically that’s just being a good host and deep down she could be everything Emily described.

That night they ate dinner in peace, all learning about each other. Lindsey was staying there for a week and then leaving to go back to Denver for Christmas. 

Over the past three days, Emily would take Lindsey around town to every place she use to go as a kid. She showed her the soccer fields she’d play at, her favorite spot to hang out with her friends, her old schools, everything. It was nice, except for the part that they had to act as if they weren’t dating, but other than that it was chill.

On Thursday night the world took a turn. Lindsey was leaving Saturday which meant she had one more day there. Jane made a nice dinner and conversation flowed to a place neither of them wanted it to, but it was expected at some point.

“So, Lindsey how’s the love life coming for you? You’re now a freshman, seeing all the wonderful men that are available for you at that school…or maybe not because Emily constantly tells me there is no one interesting. Which I have a hard time believing…”

Lindseys eye widened at the question and she slowly stopped eating, “Um..it’s going okay. Although I have to agree that there are no good looking guys at the school.” She laughed

“There’s no way. You girls are just being too picky. You need to pick a man based off of personality and character, not looks” Jane adds

“Well, yeah character is very important.” She said looking over at Emily, who was aggressively stabbing at her food, “which is why it’s so scarce of good men there. None of them have character”

“Well, maybe you guys need to get out there more, you’re all so stuck on soccer and only spending your time there. You need to-“

“Mom stop” Emily yelled from across the table

“That is not appropriate, Emily Ann” Jane looks at her daughter, “you know to not yell at the dinner table”

“I had to, you’re pushing too hard again. Lindsey doesn’t need to find anyone because she has someone, already. It’s me.” She said looking up at her mom.

Lindsey sat across the table in shock

“We’ve been dating for a while now. I was just scared to tell you and what you would say” she said weakly

“I-“ her mom sat in there in as much shock as Lindsey, “excuse me” Jane got up and walked out of the room

Emily felt her heart shatter inside as she lowered herself back down into the chair. She heard another voice speak up

“I’m happy for you” Emma said quietly from the other side

That queued Emily to get up and walk upstair, to shut her door with an hard push. Lindsey sat there with her brain unable to comprehend what just happened. 

“I’m going to go check on her” Lindsey said excusing herself from the table 

She walked up the stairs, not necessarily fast but at a good pace. Once she reached the room she knocked softly,

“Em” She heard no answer so she opened the door slowly

As she walked in she saw her girlfriend siting on the side of the bed facing the window. 

“Emily?” She walked over and touched her shoulder the older girls body became stiff under the touch, “hey look at me” Emily didn’t move her head

Lindsey sat down next to her

“Do now you understand why I never said anything?” she asked 

“She didn’t say anything about it though. She just got up and left, not a comment”

Emily just stayed quiet 

“She could just need time to process” Lindsey said softly

“Or she’s trying to find a way to kick me out” the room became silent again 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you to let me come” Lindsey said, “I shouldn’t have come”

“I was going to happen either way Linds” she said resting her head against her girlfriend, “what if she kicks me out” 

“You can come with me to Denver.” Lindsey said

Emily fell back onto the bed. She didn’t know what to think, her head was telling her to yell at Lindsey and make her leave, but her heart was telling her to keep the younger girl right next to her. All the same time her mind felt empty. She was having trouble pinpointing what exactly she was feeling. 

“I wish he was still here” Emily said looking up at her ceiling

“Your dad?” Lindsey asked and she nodded her head

“He would have stoped her. He would have-“ she felt the wave of tears come on, “he would have told me he was proud and happy for me. He always knew, I think, from when I was little. He always knew how to make me feel better when my mom would say something that hurt me” her tears now flowing out of her eyes

Lindsey grabbed her hand

“What would he do?”

Emily looked at her girlfriend, “He would take me to go play soccer and then to Waffle House where we would eat a ton of food” she smiled thinking back to the memories

“Okay…let’s go” Lindsey said pulling her up

“Where?”

“The soccer field silly and then we can go get Waffle House after” She brushed a piece of hair out of Emily’s face

The girls slipped on their shoes and exited the house. The drive to the soccer field was filled with music blaring in the car. Once they get there Emily throws Lindsey a soccer ball and they start playing. 

They went one on one, with Emily consistently tackling Lindsey like a football player just for fun. She stoped once Lindsey nutmegged her, which made her mad. 

When Emily scored Lindsey picked her up and ran her across the field so she wasn’t able to celebrate. They laughed and the incident from tonight left Emily’s head

After the two girls laid down in the grass together looking up at the stars the filled the sky. 

“You know he’s proud of you. Even from up there” Lindsey said grabbing her Emily’s hand 

“Really” Emily said uncertain, her voice cracking

“Yeah Em, he’s really proud. I am too” she turned her head to look at her girlfriend 

Emily looked back, “I love you” 

“I love you even more” she kissed the older girls nose

They got up a short time later to go get food, since they never got the chance to actually eat at dinner. Emily realized here in a Waffle House booth that Lindsey is the love of her life, that Lindsey is her forever. Or maybe she was hoping 

The next day was the same as the rest. Emily and Lindsey left for the day to do what every was on their agenda. The only difference was the Emily’s mom was MIA. According to Emma she left early that morning and promised to be back by dinner. 

She was back by dinner but talked to neither Lindsey nor Emily, and that boiled Emily’s blood. 

The next day Lindsey left and Jane was nice enough to say bye to the girl. Lindsey thanked her for letting her stay. Once they got to the airport the couple said their goodbyes

“I’ll see you soon” Emily said hugging her girlfriend tightly

“Tell me if anything happens” Lindsey told her

“I will” Emily pulled back and smiled

“I love you” Lindsey kissed her softly 

“I love you too”

~~

Lindsey had been home for a few days now, and Emily missed her like crazy. It was 4 days before Christmas on top of that. Once she got home from dropping her girlfriend off at the airport, she went straight up to her room. For the past couple of days that’s where she had stayed, only going downstairs for food and water.   
She apologized to her Emma for walking out of the room that night. Of course she forgave her. Now she sat on FaceTime with her girlfriend talking about Christmas.

“So…did you get me a gift” Lindsey asked excitedly 

“..oh no Linds, I forgot. Shit I’m sorry” She said in a serious voice

“It’s fine Em.” Lindsey smiled at the screen

“I’m joking, I got you something. You’re parents have it now” she said wiggling her eyebrows

“What? How did they get it?” Lindsey asked confused 

“I asked for your mom’s number the last time I saw them because I already knew what I was getting you” 

“Wow, Emily real professional” Lindsey joked

“You aren’t allowed to open it until Christmas morning when we FaceTime okay?” 

“Fine, then you can’t open mine until then either” Lindsey agreed

“Okay”

“Have you talked to your mom yet?”

“No” Emily said in a saddened voice 

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll come around…well you should go. It’s late there, time zones” Lindsey said rubbing her eyes

“Yeah” she answered looking at the clock (12:27) it flashed at her

“Goodnight baby” Lindsey said from the other end

“Goodnight Linds” 

Emily laid in her bed that night, unable to fall asleep. No matter how hard she tired her mind was running. She walked downstairs and heard no one. She made her way over to the door and opened it as quiet as she could. 

Emily walked over to the swinging bench on her porch and took a seat. She stared out at the sky. It was dark, not many stars in the sky. It seemed like she only saw stars when she was with Lindsey. She heard the door open which pulled her out of her own thoughts

“What are doing out here, it’s cold and late” her mom asked as she walked out

“Couldn’t sleep” Emily responded

“You haven’t slept much at all the past few days, I can tell” Jane said referring to the bags under her daughters eyes

“No I haven’t, too many thoughts are keeping me up” she said

“I’m sorry for not saying anything at dinner the other night, and just leaving” Jane started out, “I just didn’t know what to think. I mean you finally admitted it.” Emily looked at her mom confused 

“For countless nights me and your father would talk about you being different than other girls. I guess I just didn’t realize it could be true. I’m not mad or disappointed Emily. You’re my daughter, I could never be”

“Why did you stop paying for my meds. You and I both know I can’t afford them” Emily asked 

“I was hoping that since you started college so far away and had new people they would help you. So I didn’t see the point of the pills anymore”

“That didn’t happen. Well it did I guess, I love my friends, and they are really good at keeping me happy. I just am not happy, there have only been a few times I’ve been genuinely happy this year, and the only person who is able to do that is Lindsey” Emily responded smiling at the thought of her girlfriend and how much the younger filled her life

“You two are good together” Jane said

“Really?” Her voice cracked

“Really, and I’m happy and proud of you both me and your father. He would be the proudest parent ever” Her mom smiled through the tears

Her mom made her go back inside to go to bed. Which she found much easier to do now. 

It was Christmas morning and Lindsey and Emily were on FaceTime again now with both of their presents.

“You go first” Emily said

“Okay” Lindsey started unwrapping her gift, she pulled out a chain, “oh my god Em I love it” it had the infinity symbol all around it

“Do you really, I feel like it’s cheesy now” 

“No, no, not at all” Lindsey said putting it on “I love it” she smiled at her phone, “okay you go now”

Emily started opening her box, It was a picture of the two of them on the beach. In other word, it was them two on their first date.

“Babe” she said staring at the photo

“Keep going”

There were more photos of them together, from the first day to the most recent. The small stack ended with them two at the final. She saw little envelope at the bottom of the box. She opened it, “No way, Lindsey really?” It was a receipt of the shoes Emily had been talking about for weeks

“Yes, but they haven’t come yet so I’ll bring them back to school when we go back”

“I can’t believe you got the for me”

“I was tired of hearing you talk about them constantly” she laughed 

They finished their FaceTime and joined their families again. Emily has a special ritual she does every Christmas and this one was going to see her dad.

She walked up to the grave stone “hey dad” 

She sat down next to it, “Is it true? That you always knew…well I guess you can’t really answer. Merry Christmas, I really miss you…we all do. We won the final, were you there? You probably know this but I finally got a girlfriend. I know crazy, but she’s the best. She does everything in her power to make me happy. It works majority of the time. I love her so much it’s stupid. I hope you’re doing okay. I am. Now that me and mom talked, thank you for what you talked to her about before..you know.” She sat there and just admired everything in front of her

“I know you probably don’t want me here, and you’re probably yelling at me to go back home to mom and Emma. I will, I miss you a lot, a lot. I’ll be back soon. I promise.” She walked aways and went back to her car

She was okay, she will be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Once again I would love feedback and recommendations, I hope you liked it!!!!


	17. 'It's you in my reflection'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soft chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I picked the first location bc on the pictures of it one sign said, “Women’s World Cup, USA vs. France” I took it as a calling LOL
> 
> Also sorry for such a short chapter, it’s a filler for the next…more explanation below…

Lindsey and Emily were siting on the train that took them to the downtown mall. They had been back for a few weeks, doing absolutely nothing since soccer was now over. They went to all their classes and then back into their rooms. This was the first weekend the two decided to go out.

They sat on the train, in their own area with not many people surrounding them. They were never fans of a lot ofPDA, they mainly did it around their friends but around new people they tend to keep their hands to themselves. Now that soccer has ended the have finally been able to see what it’s like to be in a relationship without the feeling of needing to hide their relationship from the team.

Emily looked over at her girlfriend who was staring at her phone. She leaned over and kissed Lindsey’s jaw which made her head turn.

Lindsey was looking in her eyes, “What was that for?”

“Just…happy” Emily said with a smile 

“Me too Em” the train came to a stop and the doors opened

Emily took Lindsey’s hand and led her out of the train. As they walked up to the downtown area it was beautiful. The buildings looked so pleasing to the eye, they were older and outdated but that’s what gave it charm. It was still cold outside with an overcast so it made the area light up in a way. The lights streamed from building to building, tree to tree. There were many restaurants and antique stores that it overwhelmed their brains.

“It’s so pretty” Lindsey whispered under her breath

“I know” Emily smiled

“Why did you not show me this sooner..” Lindsey continued as she started walking

Emily jogged to catch up, “we didn’t really have…time” 

The floors were damp from the rain that fell the night before. The smell of rain, such a distinct smell, made Lindsey’s face hurt from smiling

“Come on” Emily grabbed her girlfriends hand and took her towards the first store.

The two girls walked around, not really looking but spending a good amount of time in each store. Every now and then Emily would pick something up that made Lindsey burst out in laughter. 

The two got hungry after the third one and decided to get food. They sat on the same side of the table. Now looking over the menus Lindsey turned to Emily, 

“I love you, you know” she said

“I know” Emily smiled back at her, “I love you too.”

The two girls ordered their food and sat there enjoying their time alone. 

Once they finished, Emily paid saying it was her “souther hospitality.” They were able to walk through a few more shops before having to catch the train back.

“Hey Sonny” Rose said unenthusiastically once Emily entered her room

“Glad to hear your so excited to hear me” she said laughing

“Well I am but I’m sad, I mean we only have one more year here. Remember when we were freshmen and we met for the first time?” Rose asked her

“Of course, I knew from that day you’d be the best thing that would happen to me” Emily said thinking back to the meeting

~~

Emily and her mom walked into the dorm. The room already had boxes all over the place. Emily’s mom didn’t look to excited about the mess but she found it funny.

According the girl at the front desk, her roommate had been here a couple of days. She walked into her room with expectations way too high…

All the walls in the room were bare. Not much had been unpacked, except some blankets and pillows. The room had no character to it. She did manage to see a soccer bag in the corner of the room which confirmed she was in the right room. 

“Hello?” Emily yelled into the room

“Oh hi!” Rose said in a higher pitched voice, popping out from behind two boxes stacked onto of each other 

The girl was short. Shorter than Emily and her mother. She had brunette hair, blue eyes, a nice body, and was extremely pale. I mean you could never tell the girl was a soccer player. She was pretty Emily noted, but not her type. The girls energy radiated off the walls which gave Emily a good feeling. 

“I’m Emily” she stuck out her hand  
“Rose, sorry for the mess I hate cleaning. They should really give you people to help with the unpacking and decorating, I absolutely love it here…” She said turning to the boxes 

Emily knew the girl was lying but she found it funny so she went along with it.

“We’ll that’s part of the experience” Jane said walking out from behind her daughter

“Well then I quit and we haven’t even started” Emily laughed, “Let me push my boxes to my side, if I have enough strength to do so” Rose said turning back to the boxes

~~

“From that day I knew our room was always going to be a mess” Emily joked

“It isn’t surprisingly” Rose said looking around at the clean room

Nothing much in the past years have changed. The energy still bounces off the walls in there. Boxes are occasionally seen, and the jokes never stop. They keep each other going. 

“I don’t even know how you managed to get all of that stuff into the room” Rose laughed at her comment, “but why are you even thinking about next year…this year hasn’t ended yet”

“Yea I know, I just thought that soon we’ll be off doing our own things. Hopefully still playing soccer but who knows if we’d play for the same team. Most likely not and…I’m going to miss you” She started mumbling at the end

“Did you just say you were going to miss me..aww Rosie” she pulled Rose into a hug. Rose instantly backed out

“I didn’t” she said with a straight face

“We should get an apartment next year” Emily mentioned plugging in her phone to charge

“Why?” Rose questioned 

“…you like the dorms?” She asked looking at her friend“I mean they’re comfortable…” 

“Rose you’d rather live in a dorm than an apartment?” She questioned

“Where are we going to get the money? Plus it wouldn’t just be US two, it would be Lindsey too” Rose pointed out

“My parents..you realize my family is wealthy. My mom would be willing to do because she knows my dad would”

She felt bad bringing her dad in but they all know that it’s what he would want. Just for his little girl to be happy.

“Yea but I have to pay some, and I’m not going to have a job on top of being a D1 soccer player” Rose added

“People do it, don’t act like it’s impossible. Plus I might have to get one too if my mom doesn’t want to help..” 

“I mean it would be cool. We could find one so all four of us can live in..well five” Rose joked

“She will be there..all the time” Emily laughed

“Speaking of her how was your date?” Rose asked

“Great, it was cute. In more than one way. She was so amazed by the little area, she was so cute” She said smiling 

“It warms me to know that this is genuine happiness from you” Rose said looking softly at her friend

“It makes me feel good. I don’t have to lie to myself or pretend to feel a feeling. It actually feels really good” She said looking at the ceiling 

“You just said the word feel way too many times” 

She threw a pillow at Rose, “You get what I mean” 

Rose thinks back in time, “Maybe Junior year was good. I shouldn’t dwell on it being the end, I should be happy. A lot of good came out of it” 

“Yeah a lot” She said thinking about her girlfriend, “and we still have more left”

~~

It was now the beginning of February. Not much happened, Emily and Lindsey had a lot more private time and it was helping bringing them more together. The girls would go out and play a pick up game every Friday night and reminisce about the past season.

“Man, remember when Emily was shitting her pants after seeing Lindsey and her parents walking over to her mom” Sam brought up which made the girls laugh

“Hey it was a stressful moment. Everything is good now” Emily said in defeat

“Is it?…because there’s a feeling inside me that it still happens” Rose added on

“It doesn’t Rose. Seriously everyone who needs to know, knows so were good” 

“Doesn’t mean you won’t shit your pants the next time” Lindsey added getting a death stair from her girlfriend, “Sorry I had to”

“Guys believe in our girl, she’s doing great” Mal added in

“Thanks Mal”

“You’re only saying that because you did the same” Rose pointed out

“Rose if you had someone in your life, you’d know the feeling, but you don’t” Mal called her out

“Alright that’s it” Rose got up, “come on square up little one”

“No” Mal said the same time Sam got up

“Now Rose that’s very irrespons-” Sam quickly pulled Mall off the floor

“Fight, fight, fight” Lindsey and Emily chanted from behind them

Rose stood in the same boxer position while Mal stood straight up with her hands to the side

“Rose I’m not going to fight you-“

Rose started charging her, pushing her to the ground, “oof” they both grunted

Emily was now laughing burring her face into Lindsey’s shoulder. Lindsey was laughing so much tears were falling, while Sam pulled Rose off of Mal.

It was nights like these the five girls knew they were everything to each other.

~~

Emily and Lindsey now laid in bed out of breath. Lindsey rolled onto her side cuddling into the other girl, their bodies fit perfectly together. 

“Spring break is soon. I was thinking since I went to Georgia…you should come to Colorado” Lindsey said

“Yeah?” Emily said looking down at her

“Yeah, I want to show you it all. Mainly why it’s the best state” Lindsey said with a yaw

“Mkay” she laughed into Lindsey’s hair

The younger girl lifted her head, “We can do a lot. I have connections” Lindsey said raising her eyebrows

“Oh yea? Connections..?” Emily asked 

“So that we can do more of this..privately” she softly kissed Emily’s lips

“I like that” Emily mumbled into the kiss

A few seconds later they pulled away and Lindsey rested her head on Emily’s chest, they laid like that for a second until Emily decided to speak up again.

“Me, Rose, Mal, and Sam might look for an apartment for next year..” She whispered 

“Oh really?” Lindsey lifted her head again

Emily brushed back a piece of the younger girls hair, “Yeah. We didn’t include you because we know either way you will be there everyday” 

“Who said” Lindsey looked at her

“Me, you better be there” 

“Of course I will be” Lindsey smiled

Emily looked at her girlfriend confused, “Why do we have serious conversations after sex? It seriously happens every time” 

“I know” Lindsey laughed 

“I can’t wait for next week” Emily kissed her forehead

“Me either” Lindsey was still smiling so much she was at a point where it hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, seriously extremely sorry for such a long break. If I’m being honest, I was unmotivated, uninspired and stressed lol. Life sucks. I wanted to write a long one but then I realized that I needed a filler for the next chapter…which will be juicy!! On top of all that, this whole election has me going insane. Some people just lack common sense and human decency, but anyways if you’re still reading this thanks and hopefully I will feel good enough to write more soon!
> 
> Now I don’t like to bring this side into my writing world but I want to make it clear..  
> Black Lives Matter  
> LGBTQIA+ Rights Matter  
> Women and WOMEN ONLY should have control over their bodies   
> Minorities Matter 
> 
> and most importantly..you as a person matter. If you ever feel lost or down, i'm always here. you are everything to so many people even if it doesn't feel like it.
> 
> Please be safe in this insane world. I love you <3


	18. "Hello"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spring break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp this is awkward…I know I said I would be back sooner and obviously that didn’t happen. I had the idea for this chapter ready just didn’t feel motivated to write it. Now we’re here and yeah. Thank you for sticking around enjoy..

Lindsey lifted their bags off of the baggage claim conveyor. There was only two small bags, for the entire week.

“Why did you pack such a small bag. You do know we will be here the entire week right..?” Lindsey asked pushing Emily’s bag to her

“Lindsey this is plenty of clothes, plus I have yours if I end up running out” Emily smiled at the younger girl

“Should have known that was coming” she said hanging her arm over the other girls shoulder 

Lindsey’s parents were right outside the exit. Her mom jumped out of the car and hugged Lindsey as if she hasn’t seen her in forever. Her father loaded the bags into the car while Emily then received a similar hug from Linda

“You girls look good! How was the plane ride?” A car honked from behind them

“We should probably get in the car to have this conversation” Lindsey said told her mom with a smile

As the two girl climbed into the back of the car Emily answered the question, “the plane ride was good. Quite a bit of turbulence but other than that it was nice!”

“Oh that’s good, well we will get you girls back to the house and you can unpack and get ready for dinner tonight. Lindsey..the Keller family are coming over tonight! Are you excited to see Lucas again?” Her father asked excitedly 

Lindsey’s eyes widened, and her mind started race. She still hasn’t told Emily anything that went down her last trip here and, obviously, she hasn’t told her parents either. 

“Uh yeah..that’s great” she exhaled as she spoke

Her knee started bouncing uncontrollably, Emily placed her hand on her knee to slow it down.

“You okay?” She whispered 

“Yep, great! Why wouldn’t I be?” She responded 

Emily knew Lindsey was acting weird but didn’t want to force anything out of her, “No reason”

They made small talk the rest of the car ride. Once they pulled into the drive way Lindsey’s dad took out the bags and walked inside behind the girls.

Lindsey stood in the middle of the door way distracted by her thoughts. She had no idea what to do..her girlfriend would be in the same room as her ex-boyfriend and the last time the two of the talked it didn’t end well. 

Linda tapped her shoulder, “Lindsey sweetheart, are you going to show Emily to your guys room?” she pointed upstairs 

“Yeah come on” she grabbed Emily’s arm and pulled her upstairs

Once Lindsey got her into the room she sat on the bed and stared at the floor once more. Her mind was running just as fast as before. Emily approached her girlfriend slowly.

“Linds, are you sure you’re okay? Ever since your mom mentioned Lucas you’ve been acting..different…you know you can talk to me” Emily sat next to her

“I know Sonny” she said in a slight aggressive tone

“Hey” Emily grabbed her hand, “calm down..did something happen between you guys?” She asked

“Other than us breaking up because I’m…I don’t know…gay. Nothing happened can you just drop it” Lindsey said getting up and grabbing her suitcase

Emily was taken back from her response, “listen I’m just trying to help. You seem stressed and I know what it’s like to feel like that, but if you don’t want my help then I’ll stop”

Lindsey slowed down and realized that maybe she was over reacting a bit, “I’m sorry. I am stressed but I’m fine. I promise” Emily looked at her

“If you say so” 

There was a knock was at the door 

“Girls we’re going to the store to pick up a few last minute things, we’ll be back shortly. Be ready by 5 that’s when the Keller’s are arriving” Her mom shouted through the shut door

“Okay mom, we will be” Lindsey responded

The two of them sat in the room in silence. Lindsey finished unpacking her clothes while Emily laid on the bed and was messing around on her phone. It was 3 in Colorado so they had two hours till they needed to be ready. Lindsey threw her bag on the floor and climbed on top of her girlfriend

“What are doing” Emily said as she put her phone down

“Apologizing” Lindsey said leaning down kissing her girlfriend, “I’m sorry and I love you”

“I love you too, you know that. Do you still not want to talk about it?” Emily asked

“How do you know something is wrong”“because I know my Lindsey, and what I saw earlier was not her. It’s easy to tell when your lost in that mind of yours” Emily told her

Instead of kissing her again, Lindsey rested her head on the older girls chest. 

“Something did happened..the last time I was here, but I don’t want to tell you quite yet” she said still laying there 

“Okay, take your time…but is it bad” Lindsey slightly nodded her head and Emily let out a big sigh

“I’ll be fine I promise” she kissed Emily’s jaw

~~  
Two hours past, and Keller family were minutes away from arriving. Lindsey’s anxiety built up to the point were she was on the verge of throwing up. Emily noticed yet another thing was off and grabbed the younger girls hand. 

Lindsey smiled at her but dropped her hand as soon as she heard the door bell ring. 

“I’ll get it” her dad offered

She could her small talk between them from where she was standing in the kitchen. The entire other family entered the kitchen. Lindsey heart raced as she saw Lucas enter the room but behind him was someone she remembered from such a long time ago. Her best friend…the one she used to like. 

Lindsey stoped breathing for a second to take in what just walked into her room. Emily looked at Lucas then back at her girlfriend. She saw the younger girl standing there in shock. 

“Linds” Emily whispered

“Lindsey, look it’s Joanna” her mother pointed out

Lindsey swallowed back the vomit that climbed up her throat. “How are you sweetie” She could hear her mom ask Joanna.

“Excuse us for a minute” Emily said grabbing Lindsey’s arm and taking her outside

Lindsey walks over to one of the bushes and throws up in it. Emily ran to her side to hold back her hair.

“Fuck” She said after 

“What?” Emily asked

“I-” Emily looked at her confused, “I used to like Joanna..Jo..same thing” She filled Emily in

“She was the best friend?” Emily started putting together the dots, Lindsey nodded her head 

“You can’t say anything. No one here knows.” She said looking at Emily

“Well let’s go back in and be the better couple..and let’s be honest we already won that one with in the looks category” she joked which made Lindsey smile, “if you need to leave again then just walk out I’ll be right behind you” She walked over and kissed the other girl, “I love you”

“I love you too, but why did you kissed me I just threw up” she asked

“I don’t know, that was pretty gross” Lindsey punched her shoulder 

The girls walked back inside. They walked to the kitchen where now it was only Linda standing in there. 

“Where did they go mom?” 

“Oh they’re all in the living room. You didn’t say hi to Jo when she came in…what was up with that, you girls used to be inseparable” Her mom wondered“Long story mom..might tell you later” she took Emily’s hand and leaded her to the living room

Everyone was sitting on the couch. Lucas draped his arm over Joanna’s when the girls walked in. He made eye contact with Lindsey then smirked at her. The two girls sat down on their own couch.

“Emily I know you’re old enough to drink now…would you like anything?” Lindsey’s dad asked 

“Oh no I’m good thank you though” She politely declined

“I don’t think we’ve been introduced yet..?” Mrs. Keller said

“Oh my bad, Emily this is Mr. and Mrs. Keller, Mr. and Mrs. Keller this is Emily…my girlfriend” she said confidently 

“Girlfriend?” Mr. Keller was taken back 

“I’m gay” she said proudly

“And I’m…confused” Mrs. Keller added 

“Nice to meet you?” Emily asked sticking out her hand

“How are gay? You dated our son” Mr. Keller asked

“Same thing I was thinking” Lucas said from the other side of the room

“I- um was too scared to come out when I was younger so-“

“So you used our son as disguise?” She asked

“Yeah” she mumbled 

“I don’t even know what to say anymore..” 

“You know what I think it’s time for us to leave. Thank you for the invite but it’s time for us to go” Mr. Keller said gathering his family

Lindsey sat on the couch as her stomach dropped. Emily was speechless. 

“You guys don’t have to leave. I’m sure we’ll be able to put it all behind us” Linda said as they walked out the door

“I’m sorry,” Lindsey said as the door shut, “I didn’t think it was going to end like that” she said as tears started to form at her eyes

“No honey it’s not your fault” Her dad reassured her 

“It obviously is I should have known not to have said anything especially since the last time it happened”

“What happened last time?” Emily asked

“I told Lucas on thanksgiving break that I was gay and he left and didn’t talk to me again after that.”

“Linds why didn’t you tell me” She asked

“I don’t know Son. I just didn’t want you to get mad or angry, I don’t know” she responded 

“Lindsey of course I would get mad and angry. You’re my girlfriend, I’m going to stick up for you no matter what. Even if we one day break up I would still stick up for you because you’re an amazing person that deserves nothing but the best.” Emily told her 

“It was my fault though” 

“Linds” her mom said 

Lindsey got off her stop on the couch and walked out the front door. Emily got up, but felt a hand on her shoulder. 

“Let her go. She always comes back…she’s been doing this since she was a teen. It’s her get away” Emily sat back down

~~

Walking alone in the dark of the night was nothing new to Lindsey. Ever since she started getting feelings for her best friend and felt trapped in her head she has ran to this place. 

Her parents lived up on hill that over looked the city. Their house was surrounded by forest, but at the end of the forest there was a cliff that over looked the lit up city. 

When she realized that she had a crush on Jo she never thought it was serious. She thought that it was a feeling that would go away over time. As time went on and the feeling never left she took a step back and tried to see the bigger picture. Obviously she found the bigger picture to be true but it did take her while.

She sat down on a rock near the edge. She had no idea when he mentioned that he had a girlfriend it was her. She heard footsteps approach behind her, she assumed it was Emily following her

“I’m fine, just needed to get away. You can go back I’ll be there in a minute” She didn’t turn around

“I’m assuming you thought I was Emily?” She heard Joanna’s voice from behind her

Lindsey turned around, “how did you where I’d be?”

“I was your best friend idiot, I know all of your special spots” she answered 

Lindsey smiled, “yeah I guess. Shouldn’t you be with your boyfriend?”

“Shouldn’t you be with your girlfriend?” Jo questioned 

“Touché” she said

“I had to come check on you”

“How did you know something was wrong with me?” She asked 

“Before the door closed I heard your voice and could tell something was wrong” Jo responded “Lindsey you might think I don’t know you but I do. I know everything about you and I’m so incredibly proud of the person you have become today. For finding yourself”

“Really?” Lindsey asked

“Really..” she sat next to the younger girl, “I always knew there was something different about you but I didn’t want to force anything out of you. The entire time you dated Lucas I knew you didn’t actually like him…I mean you would go to the extremes to avoid to hang out with him.” They both laughed

“I chose Virginia to get away from my problems. So that I could explore this other side of me. I didn’t think I was going to be this successful. I never thought I would have a girlfriend, I thought I would hook up with girls and see how it feels”

“Wait..so that’s not how you got Emily? Wow Linds I expected a crazy amount of sex that led you guys to realize you had feelings for each other” Jo joked

“No we definitely went the normal route of a relationship rather than the just straight sex” she laughed

“I’m happy for you” 

“Thank you, and I’m happy for you too, you and Lucas seem..happy” Lindsey added

“Oh no I’m going to break up with him. He doesn’t support my best friend I want nothing to do with him” Jo told her

“You don’t have to do that”

“Linds I’ve wanted to break up with him. Now I have a valid reason” she smiled 

The two girls sat there, “you know I used to like you” Lindsey said

“For real?” Jo asked shocked

“Yeah…I never told anyone. Expect for Emily she knows but no one else”

“I’m honored Linds really” she smiled at the younger girl

“…I should go back. Em’s probably waiting for me”

“Yeah I should go break up with my boyfriend”

“Good luck with that” she responded as Jo walked back into the forest

She sat there for a little while longer before going back to her house. She opened the door and Emily was sitting on the couch alone. 

“You’re back” Emily said“I’m back” she walked over and hugged her girlfriend which made Emily fall back down onto the couch

Lindsey curled into her side and rested her head against the older girls chest

“I’m fine now. Just needed to get away”

“I get it” Emily mumbled into her hair and pulled Lindsey in closer

~~

The next morning the two girls woke up wrapped in each others arms. Lindsey woke up before Emily, she started thinking to herself how much more eventful this break could get. They still six days left. 

“Good morning” she heard from under her

“Morning beautiful” she looked down

Every morning that they woke up in the same bed, Lindsey would take not on how beautiful her girlfriend was. Emily was the one person she could look at for hours and not be sick of her.

“What are we doing today?” Emily asked in her deep morning voice

“I was wondering the same thing” she looked over at the clock and saw it was 11, “maybe we can go get lunch” 

Emily rose her head to look at the clock, “wow we really slept in late, but yea lunch sounds great”

“Mkay let’s get dressed I’m hungry” she got up but the older blonde just laid in bed “come on”

“Let me lay her for a second..I just woke up” she complained

They got ready pretty fast and left as soon as possible because Lindsey was hungry, hungry. They got to one of Lindseys favorite restaurants growing up. 

The two girls ordered. Emily got a burger because Lindsey got a salad but she wanted fries too. She was generous. They talked, ignoring the situation that happened last night. Well until Emily brought it up,

“So are you ready to talk about what happened last night? Why you ran off into the night” Emily asked her

“I went to this place where I always went when I was younger..a place not many people know of. Just my parents and Jo”

“Oh Jo knows?” She raised her eyebrows

“She was my best friend she knew every spot” Lindsey added, “I needed a moment to process the events that occurred. Jo showed up, she somehow knew I would be there. We talked and she said she was happy for me, for us” 

“That’s good” Emily smiled

“She said she was going to break up with Lucas and not because of what happened last night but just because of the guy he is”

“Didn’t she technically break girl code…dating her best friends ex” Emily asked

“I never actually liked him, you know that right? I couldn’t care less of she married him. That relationship was nothing to me” she looked up at Emily, “I told her I used to like her too and she laughed and said she felt honored” 

“I get it..I feel honored to be dating you” the waiter set down their plates

Both girl thanked him

“Do you feel better?” Emily said taking a bite from her burger

“A lot actually. Now that all my people know it makes me feel more comfortable being touchy with you out in public”

“I still hate major PDA you know..”

“Oh me too, but I can hold hands with my girlfriend…without feeling stressed out” she reached over and stole one of Emily’s fries

“Thief” Emily joked

~~

The rest of spring break went by relatively quickly. 

They built a routine…in the morning they would go for a run and get breakfast. During the day Lindsey would take Emily to one new place that was her favorite growing up. At night they would cuddle on the couch and watch a movie, sometimes with the family and a few nights by themselves.

As the week ended it felt nice for both of them to not be sad. They weren’t leaving each other anytime soon. They are able to see each other for the rest of the school year, the two of them just hoped that nothing would go downhill again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to the people who needed a soran story recently lol. And thank you if you comment to check in with me it feels nice, I PROMISE the next chapter will be up soon. PROMISE. Thank you for reading, love you!!


	19. Catch up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls start catching people up on their week...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ran out of song lyrics LOL. Sorry for a short chapter...

As Lindsey walked into the weight room she heard cheering and shouting. She knew it had to have had something to do with her girlfriend. As she turned the corner she spotted her girlfriend dancing in the middle of a crowd of girls.

She shook her head and walked over to a cubby to set her bag down. She checked her phone one more time before someone tapped her shoulder.

She turned around and saw one of the other freshmen Regan, the girl was a forward. She didn’t get many starts but she was really good. It never made sense to Lindsey

“Hey” she said

“Hi, can I sit” she pointed to the spot next to her

“Sure” she moved over a little

“I always love the energy Sonnett brings into the room” Reagan said smiling at the group of girls

“Yeah she’s pretty chaotic” she said

“Pretty and chaotic, you’re lucky your friends with her…” The other girl pointed out

“Yeah…she is pretty and chaotic” Lindsey forgot none of the team knows that they are dating

“I wonder who’s she’s playing now.” Lindsey turned her head to the other freshman, “you’ve heard about that right?”

“Yeah, but people change…” Lindsey answered

“I don’t know…players don’t normally change their ways that easily. I heard she was dating some girl from her sociology class”

“I’m pretty certain that’s a rumor. She would have told me if it was true”

“Are you guys really that close?” Reagan asked

“yeah..we’re very close” she said looking back at the other girl

“Maybe you could mention me..you know in conversation”

“I’m not going to do that” she said turning back to the other girl

“Why not?”

“Because she’s not looking for anyone, trust me” Lindsey said

“Fine but when she is let me know”

“I won’t” she smiled at the other girl

“Whatever, come on” she saw Emily walking over to them

“I’ll be there in a second”

Reagan nodded her head, “Emily..” She greeted the older blonde as she walked away

“Reagan, Linds” she sat where Regan just got up from

The two girls just looked at each other and smiled

“Did you have fun entertaining the group?” Lindsey asked

“So much. How are you?”

“Besides the fact that I was just told you were dating some girl from your sociology class…I’m doing great” she got up from her seat

Emily almost laughed, “Linds you and I both know that’s not true”

“I do know that’s not true. It just sucks you stuck with this ‘player’ label and now everyone thinks that’s what your going play every girl you’re with because supposedly people can’t change” Lindsey pointed out

“I’m sorry, I know. I did that to myself and I wish it didn’t effect you but it does. I want to change it” Emily felt disappointed in the character she made herself become

“Then let’s go public. We have nothing to lose. Our relationship is healthy and has been for a while. Of course there was that one mishap but I’m certain that won’t happen again.”

“I just don’t want something to happen and everyone who says I’m still a player is right”

“Just because we break up doesn’t mean you’re a player. I don’t know about you but I don’t see us breaking up”

“I don’t either” Emily agrees, “but maybe not right now is the best time to do so” she looked around the room

“Okay, but sometime soon…because Reagan has a huge crush on you” Lindsey smiled and walked away

Emily shook her head and walked over to Rose. She hasn’t talked to Rose at all about anything that happen in Colorado, but she was planning on it.

The session was over about 2 hours later and the girls all walked out together with Reagan trailing behind Lindsey and Emily.

“Have you told anyone?” Lindsey asked the older blonde

“About…?” She questioned

“What happened in Colorado”

“No, I was going to tell Rose tonight, but I won’t if you don’t want me to” Emily stuttered

“You can I was just wondering” Lindsey confirmed

“Linds I don’t have to” she justified 

“Em, I know you need to talk to someone about it so you might as well tell her. It’s not healthy if you keep stuff locked up their” she pointed to her girlfriends head, “I’ve witnessed it”

“You’re hilarious” Emily exaggerated

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Lindsey asked

“Breakfast” she confirmed and walked off with Rose, Sam and Mal

Lindsey slowed down to read the text that she had received

Sarah- _gonna b out tonight, hang out tmrw?_

 _  
_Now Lindsey had no idea what she’d do all night. Alone in her room,

“Lindsey..?” She heard Reagan’s voice

“Yeah?”

“Colorado…?” She questioned

“What about it?” Lindsey asked curiously

“You and…”

“Oh, I can explain” she looked around and saw the rest of the team, “do you want to come to my room” the other girl nodded her head

“Okay come on”

Linds- _ok cool, and yeah tmrw sounds good_

The two girls walked up to the room in silence. Reagan trailed behind Lindsey…

“Okay I have a great explanation…I just need to know you won’t repeat a word to anyone” she looked the other girl dead in the eye as the door closed behind them

“I won’t”

“Alright…me and Emily have been dating…for um…a while…and we just decided not to tell anyone” Regans mouth dropped

“Is she cheating on you?” She asked referring back to the conversation they had earlier

“NO, no she’s not. I don’t know where you got that information from. We went to Colorado for spring break, because I went to Georgia for Christmas. Some shit happened while we were there, and not good shit but it’s fine because we’re fine”

Reagan just sat there

“Reagan…no one on the team knows except coach, I need you to promise you won’t tell any of the girls. At least not yet because we aren’t ready to tell them”

“How did this even happen..?“ she questioned “I mean you’re a freshman and she’s a junior…how?”

“It’s a long story but if you have time I can tell you” Lindsey would rather spend the whole night telling this story than spend it alone in her room

She sits down on her bed while the other girl takes a seat in the near chair, as she proceeds to tell the story. Lindsey went into detail. The first trip to Colorado. The break up, getting back together. Georgia, the second trip to Colorado and everything in between.

“Woah, I would have never expected any of that” Reagan said shocked, “all of this happened under our noses and only three people knew about it?”

“Yep…we have pretty amazing friends” she smiled

~~

Emily and Rose made a plan to catch up since it had been a week since they had seen each other. Rose still had no idea what went down the past week and she was in for a ride.

“Rosie…?” Emily put her phone down

“Yeah” she said looking up from her bed she was laying in

“There’s something I didn’t tell you that went down in Colorado…I told you it went great, but that was a little bit of a lie” her voice raised at the end

“What do you mean..? You and Lindsey are fine right?” Rose rushed out

“Yeah we’re great, don’t worry” she clarified, “It’s about Lindsey’s past…something I just learned myself”

“Okay…”

“We both know that Lindsey went home for thanksgiving..well while she was there, she had an encounter with her ex-boyfriend” she said briefly

“Mhm” Rose confirmed she was listening

“And she told him that she was…well…gay. He wasn’t the most happy person there, but anyways he left her alone that night and didn’t reach out. So when we arrived there her parents told us we were having dinner with his family” she continued

“Yeah”

“And I could tell she was stressed, but she refused to tell me anything…I finally got it out of her. It was just a little too late because they were already there. Long story short he was there with his girlfriend and the girlfriend happens to be, get a load of this..” Emily stopped and Rise raised her eyebrows

“Her ex best friend…the one she use to like” she reminded the other girl

“Oh fuck” she said relatively loud

“Yeah, and basically it somehow spilled that we were dating..I think she told them. They ended up leaving before dinner ever started and Lindsey ran away. She came back later and told me that her friend came to her ‘spot’ and they talked it out. So I guess they are on good terms? But yeah she ended up breaking up with him” Emily finished explaining

“Oh my god Sonny, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know if Lindsey wanted me to” she confessed

“Are you okay?” Rose asked

“I’m fine…it hurt a bit, in the moment, that she didn’t tell me but I wasn’t going to make it my problem. It was obvious she was struggling.”

“How did her parents react?”

“They were fine…surprisingly”

“Well how do you fell now that you told me…?”

“So much better” she sighed

The two girls spent the rest of the night doing the same things they have been doing since freshman year. Watch movies and laugh at stuff that isn’t even funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm working on a Christmas one shot so i wrote this short chapter so you don't think i left again...lol. I will probably write another short one before posting the one shot so yeah
> 
> PLEASE LEAVE IDEAS IM RUNNING OUT AGAIN (maybe this story is coming to a close...)


	20. It's the end of the beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lot of time jumps sorry!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay shout out to the person who gave me the idea for this…this is going to be the last chapter for THIS book. I’m going to write another part for the series where it’s more into the future. I don’t think that it’s going to go into more soccer, maybe for one of them but other than that I want to adventure into a different part of the world. This college series is going no where and is just becoming repetitive lol. soooo this is the last chapter..

Emily and Lindsey were sitting on a couch together at a party one for the girls from the team threw. It was a small party just the people on the team. They admired the view in front of them, which was a line of girls taking shot after shot. Rose and Mal were somewhere in the middle while Sam was near the end.

Emily and Lindsey both nursed a drink that they grabbed at the start of the party. Lindsey wasn’t the type of person to drink a bunch, exclude that one night, Emily was but she didn’t want to leave Lindsey’s side so she cut back for the time being.

“Emily come join” one of the girls yelled and other started agreeing

“I’m fine over here” she said as she sat further into the couch  
  
“come on you’re going to spend the whole night on that couch?” The girl asked

  
“yeah actually. It’s a really nice couch” she patted the seat next to her  
  
“go Em” Lindsey whispered from the other side

“I’m fine Linds”

“Just because I don’t drink does’t mean you don’t have to either. I know you want to, just go” she explained in a low voice so the others don’t hear

Emily looked at her girlfriend and then got up and joined the line. The other girls cheered pouring her a glass and passing it down the line.

The night started to wind up, the drinking slowed down and the girls all were sitting in the living room. Someone mentioned doing truth or dare and everyone agree, classic right? The dare went around the room, no one picked truth because that was boring. Emily deiced to spice it up a bit.

“Truth” she answered

“Why do you spend so much time with Lindsey” the girl raised her eyebrows

The whole room became quiet. She looked at Rose with widened eyes, the pale girl just shrugged. She then looked at Lindsey herself who was looking at the ground smiling, obviously trying to hide her blush.

Emily said fuck it in her head and deiced to just come clean, half of these girls won’t remember it anyways

“We’re dating, have been for sometime” she said looking at the younger blonde, who’s eyes shot over to Emily

“No..fucking..way” one girl said as the rest just sat there in shock

“I mean I had an idea but I didn’t think I was right” another one said which made Lindsey laugh

“Lindsey any words” all the heads in the room turned to her  
  
“um, no?” She laughed

The nighted ended pretty quickly after that. The five girls pilled into the car, Lindsey in the drivers seat, Emily next to her and the other three in the back

“So guys how did that feel. You finally came out” Sam said extremely loudly due to her being a bit tipsy

“Fine” they said at the same time

“Come on there has to be more feelings than just fine” Rose said mimicking

“It was great Rosie” she said buckling her seat belt

Lindsey drove the group back to the dorms. The couple fell behind the rest of the group. They walked in sync as the held hand,

“You think everything will be okay?” Lindsey squeezed the older girls hand

“What do you mean Linds, or course it will be” she reinsured the younger girl

“I just don’t want to mess up the ‘team dynamic’ or some shit like that” she said

“Lindsey you do know we’ve been dating for months and haven’t ruined the ‘dynamic’ at all…” Emily pointed out

“Well there was that one time when we were fighting, and coach had to confront us. Do you not remember that?” She reminded her

“I do fondly remember it, but that’s definitely not going to happy again. Our relationship has matured so much since then. Linds we’ll be just fine.” She said looking her girlfriend dead in the eyes

  
They were. The two girls made it through the rest of the year, took their finals and finished school. Now Emily was a senior and Lindsey was sophomore. 

~~

It was the summer now. The group had planed a trip to Hawaii, since they didn’t want to be apart for too long. Lindsey and Emily shared one room, Rose and Sam shared another, while Mal shared one with her boyfriend who somehow made his way into the trip. The others didn’t mind, he was a really good guy

  
They planed this trip to be one week long. It was pretty chill only filled with one day of traveling around the island. The rest was up to the individual and what they wanted to do. The entire group got to the island around 6 pm, so they didn’t get to explore much that day.

Emily woke up first the next morning,

“You look really pretty today” Emily said quietly while Lindsey was awakening from her deep sleep

“Hm” she mumbled

Emily leaned closer and placed a kiss on her cheek

“Good morning” she said with more excitement

“Morning” Lindsey said weakly

They laid in bed until Lindsey fully woke up and opened her phone. Emily got out of bed and pulled back the curtains revealing the beach view.

Emily opened the door and walked out. She felt arm wrap around her, she leaned into the touch knowing exactly who it was. Well it was pretty obvious who it was because she was the only other person in the room.

“The view is almost as pretty as you” she heard whispered into her ear

“That one was cheesy Linds” they both laughed

She turned around and hugged the younger girl.

“I’m happy you’re here with me”

“I’m happy you’re happy” Lindsey kissed the top of her girlfriends head

Emily wasn’t doing so good mentally. Since the start of finals week at school, Emily’s mental health had taken a downfall. Lindsey and Rose tried to make the girl feel better but the pressure of passing and doing well was too much. When she left to go home after school ended, it made her feel better but worse. She missed her friends and girlfriend which made her fall into a depression.

Emily’s mom noticed what was happening, with some help from the information Lindsey would send her on occasion. Jane encouraged her daughter to go back to her therapist for the first time since she was younger, she did. While the first couple of days were rough she eventually got back her energy and her emotional state started changing before the trip.

“Thank you for talking to my mom” Emily pulled back

“Thank you for listening to her” she said as they walked back into the room

“We’ll be moved in together soon” Emily said excitedly

“Well not exactly but yeah..” she smiled

Rose, Sam, Emily and Mal were going to rent an apartment this year. Lindsey had the choice of moving in with them but somehow her parents talked her out of it. They remind her that she was in a relationship with one of them and that some days she might want to be alone. She wanted to move in with her friends but maybe her parents were right. Either way her, Sarah and Reagan were going to rent one the next year.

They spent the days off either laying at the beach or the pool. Lindsey and Emily tried to learn how to paddle board but it didn’t go as smoothly as either girl thought it would. There was a ice cream place near their hotel that was some of the best ice cream anyone has had in the group

The nights were spent in one of the girls rooms. They would watch movies, talk, or play a game. There were some nights Lindsey and Emily left early due to the intense amount of inappropriate touching one of them we’re doing. Of course the rest of the group knew what they were going to do and would fake gag as the two exited the room.

The trip ended way too fast for any of them process the week.

~~

The next school year was chaotic. The four girls moved in together, each getting their own room. Lindsey was always there at some point it became here second house. She ended up moving in the next semester because she was there so often and since Lindsey and Emily were in a good place in there relationship.

Although they were still in their “honeymoon” part. They made sure not only do it if the apartment was empty. Their relationship had matured more and more as time went on. They knew each other boundaries and limits. When the relationship first started there wasn’t much activity as there was now. Hawaii definitely helped out a lot.

The season went on as smoothly as it could. Lindsey was on fire as were Rose and Sam. The midfield was a strong point on the team. Emily’s season was a bit of a different turnout. She had a season ending injury, the cursed ACL tear. It happened near the end of the season

Lindsey heard a yell on the field. She had just gotten subbed out and was catching her breath in the seat she just sat down in. She looked up and saw her girlfriend on the ground. She stood up from her seat and walked over to the side line.

“Lindsey come sit” the coach tried to direct her but she didn’t move

The signal. The medics waved on the gurney.

“Fuck” the coach said

“I have to-“

“You can’t” she was reminded

“When she’s carried off you can follow but for now go sit. I have to get a sub”

She walked backwards slowly back to the seats. She didn’t sit down. She was jealous in the moment, which she later realized was wrong of her to feel. She saw Rose and Sam over by Emily holding her hand as they moved her and she thought to herself that it should be her out there.

They started walking her back to the sidelines. Once the gurney passed Lindsey she walked behind it. They place the gurney on the ground. Lindsey bent down and grabbed the blondes had and looked at her face, which was full with tears.

“What happened?”

“We’re pretty sure she tore her ACL” one of the medic said as they looked at her knee

“Fuck Linds” the blonde said squeezing the younger girls hand

“Hey, you’re fine. I’m here” she said wiping away one of Emily’s tears

They ended up going to the hospital shortly after she was taken off the field. It was then confirmed that it was an ACL tear and that she would need surgery. Lindsey and Rose sat in the waiting room all night. Emily’s mom showed up hours later and sat next to the younger girls. They were finally noticed that she was out of surgery and everything went well.

Emily’s mom stayed for while after that, refusing to leave. Until Lindsey convinces her she can handle taking care of Emily. With her now being alone in the apartment all day, she would just sit around and wait for her love to come back and entertain her.

Emily knew deep inside of her head, that she wouldn’t make a come back. She wasn’t strong enough. Rose was chilling in her room with her when she finally informed the girl

“Rosie..” Her voice cracked as a tear came down her face.

“Hey what’s wrong?” She moved over to comfort the other girl

“I don’t- I don’t think I can come ba…” she couldn’t finish her words

The room started feeling like it was shrinking. Roses voice was slowly becoming less clear. Her heart rate boosted as she thought about this being the end. She was able to calm down, but was able to faintly hear Rose say,

“You should come now”

Rose laid there and tried to get her to slow down her breathing, it worked a bit. She hear a knock at the door and go up to go get it,

“Emily?” Lindsey opened the door to the older girls room. She walked over to the side of her girlfriends bed. “Hey, what’s wrong love?”

Emily looked at her and slowed down her breathing as much as possible, “I’m done…with soccer. I can’t come back Linds”

“Yes you can baby. So many people do”

“There nothing left for me there Linds. That part is just…over” she said weakly

“No Son it does-“

“Linds please just let it be over” she begged her girlfriend

Lindsey just stared at the older girl, who looked hopeless in her bed. “Okay” she mumbled under her breath

The two girls laid in bed for the rest of the night, just holding onto each other and not letting go nor talking. Just laying in silence.

It was an emotional last week of school. All the girls packed up the stuff in the apartment and cried at every memory that came to head. They knew that they would never loose touch with each other, it was impossible.

Lindsey just sat in the stands of the graduation as she heard her girlfriends name being called

“ _Emily Sonnett, sociology”_

She cheered as loud as she could, proud of how far her girl had come.

After the ceremony she found the graduate and ran over to engulf her in a big hug. Their arms wrapped around each other quickly.

“I’m so very proud of you” she whispered in her ear

“Thank you love” she pulled away, “hi mom” she hugged her mom who was crying

“I’m so happy that you turned into this fearless girl. You’re father would be so proud of everything you’ve done” Emily hugged her tighter

Her dad. “I know” she choked out as tears bayed at her eyes

~~

Lindsey opened the door to her apartment in hurry, once she heard the screaming from outside. Like a murderer was in the house, screaming.

She pushed the door back and saw her two friends standing on the couch with looks of terror in their eyes.

“What’s wrong my are you guys standing on the couch?” She asked franticly

“Linds a HUGE spider just ran across the floor” Reagan quickly informed the girl

“Are you joking, I thought one of you died” she set down her bag

“Well yeah we could have, if it bit us” Sarah said

“Guys if it was big then it’s most likely just a daddy long leg. You’ll be fine they don’t do harm”

“Bullshit” both girls said from the couch

Lindsey rolled her eyes at them, “Get off the couch” she grabbed her bag

“Find the spider than we will” Reagan told her

“I’m not going to find the spider. Either you guys grow balls and go back to normal or just stay on the couch until he finds you again” she said walking towards her room

She opened her door and walked in and set her bag down once more. Lindsey collapsed onto her bed and took out her phone.

She pressed on the first contact there

“Hey” she heard from the other side as a face popped up on the screen

“Hi” she smiled at the sight

“How was your day” her girlfriend asked

“Fine, have practice soon but I miss you and wanted to talk. Get my mind off of being sad” she said rolling onto her side

“Why are you sad. I know it’s because I’m not there” Lindsey laughed, “but there has to be more than that”

“No there’s no more” she said

“Linds”

“I’m serious babe, it’s just I miss you…and Rose…and Sam…and Mal” she confessed

“I’ll be out there soon. Remember one week” she reminded the girl

Emily had been spending a lot of time at home. She hadn’t gotten a job yet, but decided that her soccer career was now over after that injury. She had been looking into the rehabilitation counselor side of her sociology degree.

“I know, I’ve been counting down the days” She wasn’t alone, that wasn’t her problem. She would go get breakfast, pregame, with Reagan. She would have a ton of meals with all three of them, but it was just different.

Rose wasn’t there to make fun of her. Sam wasn’t there to calm down the chaotic activity. Mal wasn’t there to pick sides of an argument and make sure that she would win. And Emily…she just wasn’t there.

The two of them talked for around an hour, but Lindsey had to hang up due to practice.

The week passed slowly. Everyday felt like a new year, but today she woke up with a hop in her step due to her girlfriend arriving and they were going out to breakfast after. This would be the first pregame meal she has had with the older girl since last years final game.

She heard a knock on her door and quickly walked to it. She calmed her nerves before opening the door and see the same beautiful face she was use to. The old girl crashed into Lindsey almost making her fall over.

“Oh my god, I’ve missed you and your cute face” she said pulling back and then crashing their lips together, “I’ve also missed these lips” she mumbled against Lindsey’s who pulled the girl back in

“Okay Romeo and Juliet, we get it” Reagan said from the couch

Lindsey made a mental note that maybe Reagan would be a good Rose 2.0.

The girls left the apartment shortly after putting Emily’s bags in Lindsey’s room. They drove to the place where they would get breakfast almost every time, Waffle House. They ordered the normal and made small conversation, updating each other on life.

That night Lindsey started in midfield. It was a successful game none the less. She scored a header in the 60th to put them up 2-0. Lindsey got a yellow around the 70th for a stupid foul, well at least in Emily’s eyes. She looked up to her girlfriend who was cheering in the stands. It felt normal but not normal at all, maybe one day she would get use to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's all i have for this part. Expect another one to come out soon. Thanks for reading I appreciate all the kudos and comments...see you soon!
> 
> EXPECTED UPDATES:
> 
> this weekend- christmas story
> 
> the next year OR sooner- a new part to this series


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